Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Archive for March 4th, 2009

The New Jersey Nets are finding better ways to drive fans away than just by playing bad

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 4, 2009

If you ever needed a reason not to attend a New Jersey Nets basketball game, then I have one for you. Alcohol may have been a factor…at least I hope so.

Just watch the video and you’ll see and check out the shirtless Asian with the stuffed panda, Warren Sapp ain’t got anything on him, other than heterosexuality, money and a better station in life.

I have some alternate state mottos for New Jersey after seeing this video:

  • New Jersey Nets Basketball – TASTE THE RAINBOW!
  • New Jersey: Come for the hypodermic needle laced beaches, stay for the Gay Asian Stuffed Panda Dance.

Why was Kim Jong Il there? That’s the real question!

Posted in NBA, Nets, New Jersey Nets, So You Think You Can Dance, drunk, metrosexual | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cheerleaders + Stripper Pole = FUN (Unless they’re still in high school)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 4, 2009


Meet Steven Russo, 36, he is the new “coolest” dad ever. Back in December of 2007 his 17 year-old son attends Freedom High (Bethlehem, Pa.) decided to throw a party and since his dad is so damn cool he agreed to the party but only if cheerleaders come and if these cheerleader party in the basement where like a Rock of Love Fantasy Camp, the alcohol and the stripper pole is being housed. I bet there was a Scarface poster on the wall in that basement.

“The teens allegedly listened to Russo spin tales about his sexual exploits and drank vodka, rum and beer he gave them. They also mingled in the basement while he played music and shouted, “Get on that pole,” according to a criminal complaint filed by Bethlehem Township police at the office of District Judge Joseph Barner.”

How could they hear what Russo was talking about when they had “Pour Some Sugar On Me” blaring in the background? I’m just asking!

Steve Russo keeps getting older, but the cheerleaders stay the same age. Yes I’m telling you this 36-year-old man with a 17-year-old son might have problems with decision-making and maturity. Please don’t remain skeptical.

Of course with a rocking party like this there were photos being taken. Unfortunately for Russo they wound up on Facebook. There was a photo showing two of the cheerleaders kissing Russo on the cheek that began circulating around the school. The cheerleaders being the jealous bitches that cheerleaders can be started arguing about the photo and in what can be construed as a “bitchy act” one the girls showed the photo to a school administrator. Let the real fun begin!

“The girls said Russo did not try anything with them, but encouraged one 16-year-old as she removed her shirt during the Dec. 12 party. One teen mentioned Russo’s house has a room called “the cave” on the second floor where people have sex. One boy claimed he was there that night because another teen planned to have sex and he was “hooking up,” with one of the other girls. The boy said they left after his friend was finished.

A 14-year-old girl said she drank Red Bull and vodka at the party and Russo’s son became sick from excessive consumption. She later sneaked out of the house with a friend because “the rule is that if you drink alcohol there you have to sleep over because (Russo) doesn’t want to get in trouble  …”

Yes the rule is you get wasted and you have to stay the night and ordering underage girls to get on a stripper pole is a convenience? Yes, yes, I know it is, but still…

There is another story about this situation that was written by someone called Precious Petty. No joke here, but that sounds like a really annoying name.

R-Kelly is wondering what the hell happened to his invitation.

I know ignorance of the law is no excuse but come on, how is a guy supposed to know trying to get a cheerleader to take her shirt off and do a pole dance is illegal? Those Quakers run a tough state. *Sarcasm*

I’m betting one day the son will write the following words:

Dear Penthouse,

You will never believe what happened when 20 horny teens came over to my dad’s house…….

Quakers? more like Quake-whores.

Posted in Cheerleaders, Crime & Punishment, Stripper Pole, dumbass, stupid | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »