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Archive for March 9th, 2009

The T.O. experiment goes to Buffalo

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 9, 2009

Fresh off proving that Jerry Jones is a liar, T.O. has signed with the Buffalo Bills. This should help Buffalonians with their power bills in the winter time, considering Owens is full of hot air.

In his introductory press conference, T.O. claims that he “beat to his own beat.” which is one of the most retarded things I’ve heard from him. It’s also the slogan of teenage boys everywhere. So pretty much he just admitted to being a chronic masturbator, right?

With the signing of Owens, the Buffalo Bills go from being irreverent to “North America’s Team.” The Patriots: Haiti’s team, at least according to the amount of 19-0 apparel down there. I think he meant to say “South Canada’s Team”

Even though according to the very non-scientific (but more likely than not accurate) poll taken by ESPN, people across the world doesn’t want T.O. on their team. Regardless of the poll, the Bills are mavericks and signed him anyway.

Just a suggestion for ESPN… since you have at least 8 channels already (I know this because of that tournament on The Ocho) just please use one of them, and only one of them, for T.O., steroids, A-Rod, Barry Bonds, and all of the other bullshit that everyone is sick of yet you devote nearly every second to. Oh, and put Steven A. Smith on that list, too.

I would say that Owens will kill the Bills’ locker room however they really don’t have much of a locker room to kill at this point other than Trent Edwards. Then again Marshawn Lynch has one more gun-related incident left in him, he would be wise to turn in those “get out of jail free” cards and make it all worthwhile…

At this point the Bills and T.O. might very well be made for other. Let’s face it no one goes to Buffalo to play because they want to. Playoff caliber teams (and San Francisco) didn’t want Owens. Most were scared of his ability to disrupt team chemistry, no matter what his on-field numbers stated, and they’re wise to do it.

Posted in Buffalo Bills, Jerry Jones, NFL Football, T.O., Terrell Owens | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

YMSWWC’S Top 5 All-Time Sports Curls

Posted by Joel on March 9, 2009

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So as I am watching the World Baseball Classic, largely because there is absolutely nothing else on, I see Pedro Martinez on the bench in full activator mode. What in the world is he thinking??? This isn’t 1988, this is 2008. So I thought back to a time in which the Jheri curl was really popular, and came up with the following list, in no particular order:

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Michael Cage: His shoulders were always shiny. They were shiny with the sheen of activator. He was a monster on the low blocks, punishing people inside of the lane. Of course, he was probably nailing people in the eye with curl juice. Seeing Cage’s hair bouncing down the court behind him was like seeing poetry in greasy motion.

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Doc Gooden/Gary Sheffield: This is evidence of the family of Jheri curls. Back then, more than one family member usually had a Jheri curl. This proved to be econimical, because large groups of people could share big tubs of S-Curl and buy shower caps in bulk. The savings would then be passed to the stylists in the form of tips for hooking up the sweet do. This gave way to the popular expression, “The family that sprays together, stays together”.

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Jack Sikma: Now this wasn’t a Jheri curl, but we here are equal opportunity. Besides, any time I can throw in a Jack Sikma reference, I must use it. The man had a perm that made Mike Brady and Bill Walton jealous.

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Walter Peyton: “Sweetness” had a sweet do to match his name. One of the best running backs ever, Peyton eluded defenders with grace and swiftness. The key thing is that his vision was never cloudy because of curl juice because he always wore a head band. That’s called thinking outside of the box.

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“The Doctor of Style” Slick: Slick was a manager in the then-WWF. I think this picture exemplifies the style and pizzaz that Slick embodied. He would manage wrestlers such as Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Shiek, Akeem, and the Big Boss Man. His theme song, for those who may not know, was Jive Soul Bro. Uh, no that was not a typo.The video is on youtube.

So there ya go folks. There were some who almost made the list, like Bernard King or A.C. Green. If you can think of some others, please let us know.

Posted in Gary Sheffield, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »