Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

YMSWWC’S Top 5 All-Time Sports Curls

Posted by Joel on March 9, 2009


So as I am watching the World Baseball Classic, largely because there is absolutely nothing else on, I see Pedro Martinez on the bench in full activator mode. What in the world is he thinking??? This isn’t 1988, this is 2008. So I thought back to a time in which the Jheri curl was really popular, and came up with the following list, in no particular order:


Michael Cage: His shoulders were always shiny. They were shiny with the sheen of activator. He was a monster on the low blocks, punishing people inside of the lane. Of course, he was probably nailing people in the eye with curl juice. Seeing Cage’s hair bouncing down the court behind him was like seeing poetry in greasy motion.


Doc Gooden/Gary Sheffield: This is evidence of the family of Jheri curls. Back then, more than one family member usually had a Jheri curl. This proved to be econimical, because large groups of people could share big tubs of S-Curl and buy shower caps in bulk. The savings would then be passed to the stylists in the form of tips for hooking up the sweet do. This gave way to the popular expression, “The family that sprays together, stays together”.


Jack Sikma: Now this wasn’t a Jheri curl, but we here are equal opportunity. Besides, any time I can throw in a Jack Sikma reference, I must use it. The man had a perm that made Mike Brady and Bill Walton jealous.


Walter Peyton: “Sweetness” had a sweet do to match his name. One of the best running backs ever, Peyton eluded defenders with grace and swiftness. The key thing is that his vision was never cloudy because of curl juice because he always wore a head band. That’s called thinking outside of the box.


“The Doctor of Style” Slick: Slick was a manager in the then-WWF. I think this picture exemplifies the style and pizzaz that Slick embodied. He would manage wrestlers such as Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Shiek, Akeem, and the Big Boss Man. His theme song, for those who may not know, was Jive Soul Bro. Uh, no that was not a typo.The video is on youtube.

So there ya go folks. There were some who almost made the list, like Bernard King or A.C. Green. If you can think of some others, please let us know.

2 Responses to “YMSWWC’S Top 5 All-Time Sports Curls”

  1. Doublek said

    Nice work. Loved Michael Cage. If you ever do a follow up post or expand on the jheri curl phenomenon, you can’t go wrong by including the classic “Hollywood Shuffle”

  2. Joel said

    I thought about posting the link to “Hollywood Shuffle” but decided on the classic “Soul Glow” clip.

    Michael Cage looked like Easy-E’s father…

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