Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for March 16th, 2009

The field of 65 has been announced AKA what round will your team fail in?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 16, 2009

The NCAA tournament is upon us. Check out the entire CBS bracket here!

The Top 4 seeds are (in order of who I think has the best chance to win):

  • Louisville – Midwest
  • Pittsburgh – East
  • North Carolina – South
  • Connecticut – West

You know it is a fight when the mascots get into it like as pictured above. This is the Pistol Pete/Big Blue altercation at the WAC tournament. Pete ain’t afraid to go for the throat! The Rice Owl is not impressed.

The funny thing is Pete normally has a mustache but Big Blue ripped that shit right off Pete’s face! Big Blue has been suspended. Isn’t college athletics awesome!

Posted in College Basketball, Louisville Cardinals, March Madness, Mustache Fever, NCAA Basketball, North Carolina Tarheels, Pitt Panthers, Uconn, WTF | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

America’s favorite baby daddy says he was trapped

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 16, 2009

travis-henry

Look, we all know that former University of Tennessee running back, Travis Henry, is one fertile MF’er. After all I did dub him Travis “I got nine, nine MF’ing kids” Henry for a reason.

Henry recently told his story of reproductive woe to the New York Times. The former Bills/Broncos/Titans running back states only one child was planned however after he left Tennessee for the NFL draft he had three kids from three separate mothers.

After Henry was drafted by North America’s South Canada’s team, the Buffalo Bills, he still continued to share his seed of love several times with various fallopian tubes.

Now here’s something that you might or might not know: Children are like little people, they sometimes need medical care, they need clothing, shelter and that pesky thing called food. With Henry’s legal troubles stemming from drug charges, and no longer in the league, Henry claims he is completely broke.

Of course none of this is Henry’s fault whatsoever. He says he was trapped. I believe I heard the same line while watching the movie Juno. Don’t judge me for watching Juno there was no sports on!!

“I did use protection at first. Then they’d be saying they’d be on the pill. I was an idiot to trust them. Second or third time with them, I didn’t use it. Then, boom!”

Translation: “As a professional athlete there is a certain pressure on me to use Magnum XL condoms. I also have a pencil dick. Shit falls off, I’m a daddy. Again.”

Look Henry I’m going to drop some knowledge on you that my grandfather dropped on me:

Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me 8 times – I clearly have the IQ of a box of staples.

Henry may want to look into Vas Madness at The Urology Team in Austin, Texas. Of course back in my day we didn’t have all these fancy birth control methods….like pulling out.

At the present moment Henry is engaged and he says that both he and his fiancée don’t want any children. Which giving his past track record means I expect her to have quintuplets within the next two years.

Stuff like this is exactly why fellow NFL bust Maurice Clarett only has anal sex now. On second thought, that’s for different reasons altogether.

Posted in Buffalo Bills, Crime & Punishment, Denver Broncos, Juno, NFL Football, SEC Football, Tennessee Titans, Tennessee Volunteers, Trojan Magnum condoms, travis henry | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »