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Archive for March 26th, 2009

Wife of Pirates prospect accused of robbing the cradle

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 26, 2009

As most of you know by now I’m a diehard Boston Red Sox fan what some might not know is that my favorite NL team is the Pittsburgh Pirates. Yeah yeah I know it’s not a real franchise anymore.

If one believes that any press is good press including negative press, then boy the Pirates are in luck! It seems the wife of one of their top minor league prospects is being questioned in the apparent kidnapping of a baby from a Plant City, Fla. health clinic.

Thankfully the two month-old was returned unharmed one day after allegedly being taken from its parents by Amalia Tabata Pereira, 43, who happens to be the wife of Pirates’ minor league outfielder Jose Tabata, 20. Wow a umm 23 year difference in age…alrighty then.

Fortunately for Jose, all the 43 year-olds in Altoona (where he played last season) are either grandmothers or, more likely, great-grandmothers. He was hoping he could make the majors and get a wife upgrade before the old model did something crazy.

Officials claim that Pereira posed as a health care worker, telling the mother, Rosa Sirilo-Francisco, that she was about to be deported and that she could help with the infant. There is no indication that Tabata himself was involved. From ESPN:

“Jose Tabata addressed the matter in a statement released by the team. “I was shocked to be told today that my wife has been arrested for kidnapping. I am hurt, frustrated, and confused by her actions,” Tabata said. “I have and will continue to cooperate with law enforcement officials in anyway that I can. Until I have all of the facts, I cannot comment any further.”

I wonder if the alleged exchange between Amalia and the victim’s mom went like this:

“Hey, I’m about to be deported, can I have your baby for a second?”
“Well, I don’t see why not!”

Jose has as many stolen bases this spring as his wife has stolen babies. Typical Pirates baseball…

Posted in Kidnapping, MLB, Major League Baseball, Minor League Baseball, Pittsburgh Pirates | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Maid claims that she wasn’t about to take anymore crap from Kobe’s wife

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 26, 2009

She's my rock. She's my everything. Bitch is crazy, but she's my rock

If you believe you have a crap job and your boss is an asshole and/or bitch, then my advice is to continue reading this gem of a post & be thankful. So STFU whining about your job and get to reading!

A former housekeeper is suing Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, on the grounds that Vanessa micromanages in such a demented way that people will think working for Martha Stewart was a walk in the park.

According to a lawsuit that was filed by Maria Jimenez, Vanessa Bryant verbally abused her, called her names that I myself would normally use in only speaking of my ex, humiliated her in front of the family and other employees, and the death blow, “demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of doggie doo-doo to retrieve the price tag for the blouse” that she had accidentally ruined. Man Double Dare re-enactments have come a long way from when I was a kid.

This suit would have been solid gold if the maid claimed Vanessa also asked her “How’s my dog’s ass taste?”

I’m not sure how and why the price tag wound up in a bag of doggie doo-doo, but by God Vanessa wanted it back so she can deduct the cost of the blouse from the maid’s paycheck.

When asked about the bag of dog feces, Kobe responded, “Yeah, that’s kind of my thing.” *Sarcasm*

The situation got so bad that Vanessa even stooped to the point of accusing Maria of stealing her retainer. This proves once again that oral hygiene is serious business.

Of course the Bryant’s have denied these accusations while hiding behind their high priced attorney at the same time.

In the maids defense, look at the picture. Clearly that is one crazy woman.

Posted in Doggie doo-doo, Lawsuit, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, Vanessa Bryant | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »