Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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The question is: Did it taste like chicken?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 30, 2009

As I mentioned in an earlier posting, spring is here, the pollen count is up and more South Carolina Gamecocks are being arrested and/or suspended. 

The latest victim…err….perpetrator is fullback Dustyn McElroy. The Po Po says that the 22 year-old was getting his St. Patrick’s drink on at a bar called the Village Idiot in the dreaded Five Points area of Columbia. While there at the Idiot, this moron is involved in an altercation where his Hannibal Lecter shown through and he bit…yes bit another man on the face. 

I have to ask: Did he taste like chicken? I mean really. According to the report, when a man tried to break up the fight, McElroy placed him in a “bear hug” and bit him on the left cheek, causing a “severe facial laceration.” 

Apparently McElroy wasn’t satisfied with the taste of human flesh and then decide to punch & shatter a storefront window of an art gallery that is adjacent to the Village Idiot.

Michael Jeffcoat, McElroy’s attorney, claims McElroy acted in self-defense after seven men jumped him on the sidewalk outside the bar.

“He’d been attacked by seven guys and he just wanted to get away,” Jeffcoat said. “They jumped on him and he didn’t have any choice but to defend himself.”

I have to agree. I know that if I was jumped by numerous people I would have to punch a storefront window. That’s in the Chuck Norris self defense manual. 

This isn’t the first time McElroy has been in trouble with the law, he pleaded guilty in November to a previous charge of assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature, and was sentenced to 18 months probation.

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