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Archive for April 20th, 2009

Grading the Tennessee Vols spring game

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 20, 2009

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Due to the overwhelming interest in Coach “Visor-Boy 2.0″ Kiffin’s first year as the Tennessee football, I’ve decided to issue a report card for the annual spring game. Whether the grades pan out during regular season play will remain to be seen. 

Quarterbacks: C 

In an alternate universe Crompton won the Heisman last year. However we live and breathe in this universe. Crompton has lost some weight and appears more mobile but he is still bobbling snaps and throwing interceptions. For someone that is coming wrist surgery junior Nick “Ginger Haired Warrior” looked average but that could be a good sign and Nick “Huge Hands” Stephens looked uptight and anxious. No QB could get into a rhythm but that isn’t their fault after all this is the spring game we’re talking about. 

Running Backs: A 

Creer who? Hardesty looked sharp amd Poole proved he will be a factor in the new offensive system. Toney Williams emerged as a surprisingly fast power back. Let’s not forget there are two special running backs coming in the summer as well. 

Receivers: B- 

Gerald Jones is back and looked good even with a sore hand. Hancock proved to be a great practice player however that needs to show up in the fall. Denarius Moore and Brandon Warren closed strong. Of course Stocker dropped a sure touchdown it wouldn’t be a game with a dropped pass by Stocker. 

Offensive Line: C- 

While the Vols ran the ball well, pass protection was still an issue. Jarrod Shaw and Cody Pope (who id from my old stomping grounds of Greenville, SC) are fighting for a starting spot but neither could set themselves apart from one another. Cody Sullins is the big surprise. Let’s hope it translates to game play. 

Defensive Line: A 

Chris Walker is a beast and Monton Hughes is a special player. Expect great things from this group in the season. 

Linebackers: C- 

Rico McCoy shall shine even brighter this year. 

Defensive Backs: C 

It’s hard to tell how this group will truly do. Brent Vinson didn’t play because of a recent shoulder surgery and Berry is recovering from a shoulder surgery. However Raines and Dennis Rogan are improving in great strides. This group would have earned a high grade if Berry and Vinson were healthy. 

Special Teams: C- 

They ain’t looking so special. Daniel Lincoln Logs is struggling with consistency however punter Cunningham is looking better. 

Coaches Spouse: A+ 

ven though I didn’t see her I’m sure Layla Kiffin is the only woman I know who has mysterious background music (Pretty Woman Van Halen’s version) playing everywhere she goes.

Posted in GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, coach o | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

High school cheerleaders in a gay male strip club: I see Rupaul is working has a teacher now

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 20, 2009

So you’re a 47-year-old female teacher who could be facing a midlife crisis. You decided to take four students (three 18-year-olds and a 17-year-old) to a gay male strip club that serves alcohol and suddenly people are outraged. Doesn’t make sense does it? 

Lori Epperson has resigned from her teaching position at Edgewood High School in Trenton, near Dayton, Ohio, after taking four of her students to Club Masque, a strip club that features exotic male dancers and a drag show on Saturdays. Jay Cutler is familiar with the term “drag” and is saddened that Chicago is not closer to Ohio. 

Now the Po Po has been called and the club is in some legal hot water for serving alcohol to a minor. Suddenly the hot cheerleading coach that posed for Playboy looks more and more like a role model than ever before. 

The hilarious part of this story is Epperson’s daughter was one of the four, and she apparently had permission from the parents of the other three to take them to the club. After all these are gay men right… 

From WKYC: 

Butler Tech school district spokesman Bill Solazzo says 47-year-old Lori Epperson resigned Thursday. He said Epperson told Edgewood High School administrators that the students – all cheerleaders at the school north of Cincinnati in Trenton – asked her to take them to the bar in February. 

Epperson told school officials in an e-mail that she got permission from the parents of the 17- and 18-year-olds to bring them to Club Masque in Dayton.” 

Trenton has left New Jersey, folks.& all the world is in danger. 

This reminds of when my high school science teacher sent me looking for a “lot lizard” in exchange for a passing grade and somewhere Brady Quinn is quietly bemoaning the fact that he grew up on the other side of the state. 

Since this is Dayton we’re talking about, don’t be surprised if it turns out three of the drag dancers are actually hairy women pretending to be men.

Posted in Cheerleaders, Gay Pride, Police, Rupaul, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »