Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for May 1st, 2009

Jose Canseco the newest force in MMA

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 1, 2009

As a connoisseur of the entertainment that the Japanese has to offer trust me when I say I’ve seen some crazy shit out of that country.  But the craziest might be seeing Jose Canseco battle a 7’2″ Korean in a MMA match. I prayed to the little baby Jesus in heaven last night that this winds up on YouTube. 

Jose “Rat fink” Canseco will headline in the first round of the Super Hulk Tournament – World Superman Championship,” against super heavyweight Hong Man Choi of South Korea who happens to be over seven feet tall and weighs over three hundred pounds. Fortunately for Canseco, Choi, apparently isn’t that good with a 1-2 lifetime record. 

The sad thing for Canseco is he is probably equally if not worse than Choi. His only “combat sport” experience is a three round draw against Danny Bonaduce. When the Japanese pay you to come in and fight a 7′ Korean, you know you’re a punch line. Unless you’re Jose Canseco. 

“I have no idea if I can do it,” Canseco said Thursday night. “It’s a tough sport.” 

My prediction: Laughter. 

Canseco’s pre-fight checklist:
√dye hair orange
√paint body green
√inject loosey goosey Alex Rodriguez juicy

Posted in Jose Canseco, MMA, steroids, stupid | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

It’s disturbing image Friday!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 1, 2009

How this for a disturbing image? It is Chris Berman yesterday at the Quail Hollow Championship in Charlotte. Holy Mother of God I would hate to be downwind from that.

Things really got out of hand on the next hole when he beat the shit out of Happy Gilmore. How is that poor guy crouched down in the foreground doing? I bet all he smells is ass and cat food. Sad part of this is that he was already wearing Depends.

Posted in Chris Berman, Depends, ESPN, golf | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Yes, there is also ignorance abound in Australia

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 1, 2009

Unfortunately the image above is real and it’s a crying shame. The Torquay Tigers football club of Australia did more than raise a few eyebrows for the team’s upcoming “All White Night.” It also enraged the National Race Discrimination Commissioner Tom Calma as well as the team’s players. 

“Given the work we’ve been doing, you would think they would be much more sensitive to these issues and find them totally abhorrent,” he said. 

No shit Sherlock. 

Some moron volunteer posted this image on the team’s website to promote a weekend social event with an all-white theme. The white was supposed to refer to the dress code. I suppose this idiot figured nothing says dress like Rick Pitino like showing images that represent 150 years of bigoted ignorance. Fucking douche bag. 

“The latest Ku Klux Klan scandal comes after Fremantle this month denied claims by its assistant coach, Steve Malaxos, that players had dressed in Klan gear and raided each others homes as a prank.” 

Gee, that freaking doesn’t help matters either. Who the hell is running this team? The team quickly replaced the image with what I’m sure to be an unauthorized picture of Disney’s Snow White. I didn’t know John Rocker had moved Down Under.

Posted in Douche Bag, Racist Bastards, Torquay Tigers, WTF | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »