Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Apparently Derrick Rose really is stupid

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 28, 2009

In less than 24 hours after the news broke about Memphis and “major” recruiting violations, there’s a brand new report that claims Derrick Rose needed a lot of help getting into a finer institute of higher learning.

The Sun-Times is reporting that four students at Simeon High School in Chicago, including Rose, had grades changed on their high school transcripts after graduation. The grade were changed and then mailed to colleges and then changed back once they were mailed. So far no one knows who changed the grades or even why, because it would not have affected the students high school eligibility however it is interesting to note that Rose and two other students affected were apart of Simeon’s back-to-back state championship teams. Amateurs… all I needed was a sharpie to change my F to an A.

Also altered on Rose’s transcript: He likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. He’s not much into Yoga and he has half a brain. Ok I’m paraphrasing on that.

Now I know the very thought of some “one-and-done” player might have needed some help getting into a college is hard to fathom, but trust me it does happen. Since Rose is already in the NBA I suppose we’ll just have to take our anger elsewhere. I vote for booing the kids who misspell words during the televised spelling bee tonight.

One Response to “Apparently Derrick Rose really is stupid”

  1. Oskie said

    Rose likes makin’ love at midnight …

    Okay, yeah, I guess the joke was officially over. Loved it though.

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