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Author Archive
Just a friendly reminder to the world
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on April 1, 2008
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, Saban, Satan | Tagged: Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Discipline, football, NCAA, Nick Saban, Roll Tide, Saban, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports | 2 Comments »
The Saddest Day of My Life
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on April 1, 2008
Hi folks Billy Bob here. I remember this day alright. I was the lowest day of my life other than when Auburn beat my Tide for the sixth time in a row and when I found out my sister/wife was preggers again.
It was one year ago today, April 1st 07. This guy we know, Tennessee Eugene, told us he done saw the holy one at Jim’s Bar & Bait Shop drinking a 7&7. That’s right…The Bear was back!!!
After several of us cried for an hour…tears of joy mind you. We all headed over there to catch a glimpse of the great one. Several of townspeople were already there. The old, crippled and blind were allowed in line first. We all knew the Bear can cure them of their illness. Next in line were the fathers of gay children and the children themselves, we all knew the Bear could cure them as well.
About 5 hours later someone noticed the sign on Jim’s door that read “Closed till 04/08. Gone Fishing.” It took another three hours to find someone that could actually read in the crowd. RTR
After everyone realized this was nothing but an April’s Fools prank we all went to the burial site of the Bear and drank moonshine till we got angry. We then all storm into main street searching out for Eugene. We haven’t seen him since…but we hear his little laughter and that annoying Go Vols yell. That motherfucker. RTR
So just remember the Bear lives in all of us in our hearts. He’s everywhere. Well, except he ain’t in the win columns. We’ll get there…eventually. rtr
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Tennessee Volunteers, alcoholics | 11 Comments »
Hey Kenneth Page We Want a Refund!
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on March 31, 2008
Kenneth my boy! I Fed Ex’ed that $10,000 in good faith. Our agreement was $10,000 for an “official visit” and an additional $90,000 upon signing with Bama. rtr Not for you to pocket the money and sign with Clemson.
As an official Grand Dragon Master of the Tide Nation I demand a freaking refund. You have no idea how many text books our good players fenced in order to raise that money. Tell ya what you refund the money promptly and the Tide won’t crush by Clemson by 50, we will crush them by 49. Is that a deal? Remember Bama Nation is watching you…just like we were watching your Myspace when you posted that photo. RTR
I bet that’s a nasty Tennessee shirt he’s wearing. rtr!
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Clemson Tigers | Tagged: Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Clemson Tigers | 1 Comment »
I Freaking Hate Louisiana Monroe!
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on March 31, 2008
So I was driving towards Monroe, Louisiana cause none of the blood banks in good ole Bama will buy my blood after that little Hepatitis C incident, when I came across this God forsaken billboard! I almost wrecked my 72 Ford pickup. That truck is priceless cause Jimbo tells me the Bear peed on the drivers side fender once. Those bastards! Look at this! I’ll never sell my Hepatitis C infected blood in this state again!
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bear is Dead, Louisiana Monroe | Tagged: Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bear is Dead, Louisiana Monroe | 3 Comments »
Coach Shula is Hired as Recruit Guru or Something or Other
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on March 31, 2008
That’s right folks. As you can tell by photo I’m proud to say that we here at Bama are proud and honored that Lord Saban has hired former coach Shula away from Jimbo’s Filling Station to be the new recruiting director.
Coach Shula will be in charge of calling all recruits and training them for how to act when the chosen one, Lord Saban comes to their school to bribe talk to them about attending Bama. Coach Shula will also handle all calls from recruits and money launder handle the Bama Alumni funds that is gathered for recruits.
And if that isn’t enough Coach Shula will also trim Lord Saban’s balls and be responsible for bathing, feeding and clothing the gimp. RTR
Woo Hoo looks like another number one recruiting class. The best $$ can buy
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead | Tagged: Alabama Crimson Tide, Bear is Dead, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bama Bangs | Leave a Comment »
This Day In History
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on March 31, 2008
On this day in history in 1970. The great one Bear Bryant came into the Bama locker room and said “Guess what men I haven’t had a drink all day.” Well, old Roscoe of Roscoe’s Mom & Daughter Strip Club was the center back then said “Come on Coach we all knows you’re sauced by 9:30 in the morning and here it is 12:00.”
Well from what Roscoe says the entire team beat the living shit out of him and left him for dead in that now sacred spot where Lord Saban’s dog peed on last week. Then the Bear from his great one chair called down and said “HA! I got you sumbitches, April Fools. I really was sauced by 9:30 in this morning, actually it was more like 8:00 now take 2 laps!”
I’m jealous of Roscoe, that sumbitch. RTR
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead | Leave a Comment »
Just a friendly reminder to the world
Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 28, 2007
Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Discipline, NCAA, Nick Saban, Roll Tide, SEC, SEC Coaches, Saban, Sports, football | Leave a Comment »