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Archive for the ‘ACC Football’ Category

Breaking News: Bowden out at Clemson & yet Fulmer remains employed. WTF?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 13, 2008

 

 

You can feel the relief in Clemson. It’s a gorgeous day because Wake Forest strikes again!!!! Grobe = Coach Killer. Clemson fired football coach Tommy Bowden on Monday; four days after the Tigers lost to Wake Forest and fell to 3-3. 

Coming into this season the Tiger were ranked No. 9 in AP Top 25 poll but then they met Alabama. 

Bowden received a lucrative contract extension from Clemson after the 2007 season.

He received the extension after considering a potential coaching position at Arkansas. Bowden, the son of F$U coach Bobby Bowden, has a 72-45 record and eight bowl appearances at Clemson. 

And yet Fulmer is still employed please someone figure this out for me.

 

Can’t say this wasn’t unexpected… How many times has Clemson been picked to win at least the ACC? As the coach of an underachieving he takes all the responsibility. Bowden was a good coach who never produced the results everyone thought was possible with a usually talented team. Of course this sounds another coach who also wears orange on the sidelines. I wonder who that could be…

 

Of course Bowden wasn’t the problem; it was his assistant coaches, whom he was loyal to. That is just my opinion. They need to fire Rob Spence too. His play calling has been a big reason why their offense hasn’t done anything this year.

 

Posted in ACC Football, Clemson Tigers, Tommy Bowden, fired | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

College Football Week 7 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 12, 2008

Chaos in the polls and I love it!!!! Yesterday was definitely the best slate of games this whole season and of course the best slate to surprising upsets.

Who is #1? It’s question that will be answered later today in the coaches poll and will be argued by everyone in the country.

I wonder who is feeling the heat more Tommy Bowden or Phillip Fulmer. Of course Tennessee lost because they suck no matter how hard I cheer for them. The full write up on the game verses Georgia will be tomorrow after I painstakingly watch a tape of the game later today.

Toledo’s record against Michigan improved to 1-0 yesterday which was a shocker.

I’m sure Arkansas is tanking Auburn for firing their offensive coordinator. You can the “inside” story of the firing right here.

All eyes were definitely on Texas yesterday as they upended Oklahoma.

“I’m 40! I’m a man! & I just beat Missouri bitches!” says Mike Gundy AKA America’s coach.

Tim “TiVo the Teabag” Tebow can go back to circumcising kids now since Florida hands LSU an ugly loss. Hell Tennessee didn’t allow Florida to score that many points.

Penn St. makes an argument on why they should be considered #1. as they gave Wisconsin a second straight loss at Camp Randall.

The Texas Tech offense isn’t putting up the points it used to but manages to defeat Nebraska and avoid being upset.

USC rolled against a dead Arizona State team.

BYU won. Who cares?

What’s wrong with Ohio State’s offense? Sure they won but they only scored 16 at home.

I was one of the few people in my pick’em to pick Miss. State over Vandy. Bobby Johnson you just got Croomed!

Kansas proves that they are still a factor in the Big 12.

Everyone point and laugh at Notre Dame. OK that’s enough. I seriously wonder how much Charlie Weis weighs.

It took the G-Spot Stephen “I keyed a professor’s car” Garcia to allow South Carolina a victory or KY. Hey Brooks maybe they stole your plays as well…asshole.

Look out Virginia is 3-3.

Not only does Lou Holtz have a lisp, slobbers when he talks but he also looks like he has had a chemical peel that never healed.

Georgia Tech you barely defeated Gardner-Webb seriously WTF?

Show some love to Minnesota as they handed the Illinois Fighting Zookers a surprising loss at Illinois.

Wow Iowa actually won a game.

Dumb ass comment of the day goes to Lou Holtz when he mentioned comparing Colt McCoy’s stats to that of Vince Young’s the year Vince Young won the Heisman. The problem is Young never won the Heisman…what a dumb ass.

Posted in ACC Football, Arizona State Sundevils, Arkansas Razorbacks, BYU, Big Twelve Football, Charlie Weis, Clemson Tigers, Corn Dogs, Croom, Florida Gators, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Illinois Fighting Illini, Iowa Hawkeyes, Joe Pa, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Michigan Wolverines, Mike Gundy, Minnesota Gophers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Oklahoma sooners, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rich Brooks, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Texas Longhorns, Vanderbilt Commodores, War Eagle, Zooker, big ten football, gardner webb, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, upsets, vandy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Warren Sapp has some choice words for Urban Meyer (Don’t we all?)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 11, 2008

Yesterday America’s favorite jort wearing, Heisman trophy winning, midget porn watching and Godliest College QB, Tim “TiVo the Teabag” Tebow, stated to the Orlando Sentinel that he gets upset when someone comments on the debauchery of Meyer’s choice to kick a field goal  with 25 seconds even though the game was over about five minutes prior to that.

“I’ll have Coach Meyer’s back on anything. To say something like that about Coach Meyer isn’t true at all,” Tebow said after Monday’s practice. “If you want to talk about him, you should definitely talk about a lot of other coaches before Coach Meyer. You can talk about running the score up, I don’t care. They are paid to stop us; [offensive coordinator Dan] Mullen is paid to score. They don’t do that, oh well. But you don’t have to talk about Coach Meyer as a person and getting into recruits and all that stuff. That’s not necessary.”

“What did Coach Meyer do besides recruit good guys, try to keep guys out of jail, doing the right thing, try to work guys into being better people on the field and off the field?” Tebow said. “[He] never says anything bad about anybody, always tries to do the right thing, tries to take young boys and make them into men. We play with character, strength and honor on the field and off. I don’t think you usually see many cheap shots or anything wrong that we do. Yeah, we’re going to try to score through the whole game. That’s our job. We like playing football.”

Yes there is so much honor firing an AK-47 “to scare someone” like Ronnie Wilson did and then allowed back on the team.  (The link provides the actual 911 call)

I’m sure Jamar Hornsby is honorable after all he used a dead woman’s credit card.

Jarvis Moss & Marcus Thomas both failed multiple drugs tests.

Dee Webb, Andre Caldwell and Reggie Lewis had a $60,000 SUV stockpiled with improperly registered AK’s and guns… and they decided to shoot at apartment windows for shit and giggles.

Yes those are all honorable people under the Meyer regime.

For some reason Warren Sapp disagrees in fact he had some choice words for Meyer and his field goal team.

Ex-Canes star Warren Sapp, on a Showtime conference call Tuesday for Inside the NFL, called UF coach Urban Meyer ”a classless dirtbag” for kicking a field goal late in Florida‘s 26-3 win against UM. ”But it’s coming back in a big way” when the teams meet in 2013, he said.

This is why I think Florida and Miami should play every year. Not only will it eliminate threats made about games that are five years in the future but when you 50 people arrested & 121 people ejected there is defiantly some bad blood there.

Posted in ACC Football, Florida Gators, Miami hurricanes, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tebow, Urban Meyer, Warren Sapp, jorts, mullets | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Billy Bob Bammer 1 The Rogue Cop of West Columbia 0

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 29, 2008

It seems that tricking the Rogue Cop of West Columbia is easier than I thought. Since he announced the news that he was looking for me I’ve been covering my tracks purdy good. RTR!

The latest twist is he thinks he broke into my house and seized some meth-making equipment but it wasn’t my house it was my cousin’s house, Berry Bob Bammer. RTR

This is my place go compare it to that dump Berry lives in. RTR (Sorry Berry)

See I own several Jimmy Johns franchises in and around the T-Town Ghetto area so I quit dealing with meth…errr I mean I’m a legit business man. However Berry unfortunately thinks he can make meth more marketable. He has even talked of opening a Mike Price strip club.

See what people like the Rogue Cop doesn’t understand is those big time Bama boosters like me are protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

As you can see from the photo below we’re presently building an alter to the Behr and for that added realism effect, the hat was doused with copious amounts of bourbon. RTR! The hat would have been bigger, but Phil Fulmer secretly conspired with the NCAA to force the manufacturer to keep it at 550 pounds.

I'm protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

I hear Auburn’s doing the same thing only with a giant Massengale Bottle in honor of Tuberville. RTR! There’s also a rumor floating around that Auburn has recruited the “Super Best Friends” to construct and animate a giant Bo Jackson to break in and steal our giant Behr Bryant alter, but don’t worry we’ll be ready for them. RTR!

Anywho back to Rogue Cop…see we’re protected from all forms of justice. Logan Young didn’t become a martyr for nuffin! Now there is a splinter group that call themselves Sabantologist…they might be AS protected as I am but they are protected because Saban is the Behr reincarnated! RTR!

Better luck next time Rogue Cop I’m Atlanter bound to watch the Tide score 300 points against Clemson.

RTR Bitches!

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Clemson Tigers, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Roll Tide, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

I’m a wanted man!! I ain’t skeered

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 28, 2008

 

Clemson fans are in awe of us. RTR!

Clemson fans are in awe of us. RTR!

Well folks it seems the Rogue Cop of West Columbia is hunting me down what he doesn’t understand is unlike our football players I’m too smart for the cops!

This pillar of justice claims to have seen me trying to steal an ATM gather funds legally for the Logan Young Memorial fund and commit a blatant act of vandalism beautify the place with RTR’s & I pray to the Behr.

What the Rogue Cop doesn’t realize is Bama Boosters like me own the police except for the 11 of them that arrested our boys of course. But they were underpaid rookies so they’ll learn. I know some of you reading are thinking that’s police corruption. One mans police corruption is another mans way to supplement his income. RTR!

I dare the Rogue cop to come to T-Town. I is a master of disguise & I’ll send one of my girls to entice him. Maybe Bertha (photo seen below) she’ll know how to throw him of the scent. RTR!

Yall dont be wacking off to her too much you might do bald. Ever notice how Saban has thinning hair?

Yall don't be whacking off to her too much you might do bald. Ever notice how Saban has thinning hair?

Of course the Rogue cop is a Clemson which is the real reason he wants to put me in the slammer, because with out me in the nose bleed section in seats that I had to sell my blood for Bama wouldn’t win!

All I gotta do is say the Behr’s prayer to keep me safe:

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the 12 championships the NCAA will allow Bama to keep

If I die or get arrested before I wake

I pray the Behr and Logon Young will receive my soul & my Bama bangs to take. RTR!

Besides the Rogue cop will have his hands full with USC football players before to long.

RTR Bitches!

Clemsons new uniforms

West Columbia police trainee uniform

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bammers, Clemson Tigers, SEC, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Yeah we got 12 (Cylinders)

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 27, 2008

We ain’t forgotten about Kenneth Page either bitches. RTR!

Things are heating up for those little pussycats called the Clemson Tigers. It seems their defensive coordinator is jealous because all they offer to their players is a free car wash and a gift card to the Waffle House while our players are sporting Escalades.

At least that’s what Vic Koenning is implying in the Charleston Post and Courier with this quote:

“I actually ran into Julio in the spring recruiting. I said hello to him. I said, ‘Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you at the end of August.’ And then he got out and got in his Escalade and drove off. That’s serious. And then I went over and watched (Alabama freshman) Burton Scott at Vigor High School at the track over there, and Burton Scott was running around. He went and got in his Escalade out at track practice and drove off. So I’m familiar with those two guys.”

Let me tell you thing son we don’t be driving American here. RTR! We gots ourselves a Mercedes plant and with funds secretly transfers from out “Bama Spirit Account” to the bank accounts of some boosters in the Logan Young Memorial Fund, we can get some kraut cars pretty darn cheap for our players.  RTR!

Now it’s time to play Bama fans’ favorite game: Six Degrees of Blaming Phil Fulmer.

Here goes:

  1. Vic Koenning is the defensive master for Clemson.
  2. Clemson is the alma mater of Tennessee Athletic Director Mike Hamilton
  3. Mike Hamilton just gave Phil Fulmer a big raise at the end of last season.

See there’s where your car funds are going…into Fulmer’s pockets. It’s all jealousy because we have the Behr Reincarnated and meanwhile, Clemson recruits drive some bad-ass 1990 Ford Tauruses, RTR! (Nothing wrong with a Taurus mine is an 85 all stock bitches!)

At first I was suspicious because our players riding around in new Crown Vics, until I realized they were cop cars. That’s why we’re Fulmer Cup bound! RTR

When I was praying to the Behr he appeared and said “I want to know why our players aren’t driving Bentleys RTR!”

So Clemson let this be a reminder to you even though you will most likely win Saturday, our rides pimped out Behr style,. RTR Bitches!

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bammers, Clemson Tigers, Nick Saban, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Everyone Knows Free Beer is the Best Beer even if it’s Gay Beer!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 30, 2008

I’ve never considered the mascot for the University of Virginia Cavaliers gay, metrosexual yes, but gay no. That has definitely changed now leaving me to question the sexuality of CavMan. Thanks to two Cavalier football players.

Junior offensive lineman Will Barker and red shirt freshman lineman Dave Roberts were arrested at the downtown nightclub Club 216 in Charlottesville last Saturday morning.

The Po Po say both “men” admitted to stealing beer from a cooler at the nightclub. Both face larceny charges. Roberts, who is 19 years old, is also charged with being a minor in possession of alcohol and with using a fake ID.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking so far sounds like normal football player BS, and you’re correct sort of…

Study the photos below. Pay close attention to the one labeled Will Barker. I wonder how much “product” he puts in his hair.

Will Barker & Dave Roberts

Dave Roberts & Will Barker

Oh in case you didn’t bother to click the link to Club 216 let me just quote from their website for you.

“Welcome to Club 216, Charlottesville, Virginia‘s only gay and lesbian bar and danceclub. Bringing you sounds from the past and present as well as thumping tracks from Europe‘s best! If you love to dance, meet hot, hunky men and fabulous women in a great gay-friendly atmosphere, then this is definitely the place you want to be! Entrance to this nightclub is for members & their guests.

CLUB 216 is owned and operated by the PIEDMONT TRIANGLE SOCIETY. PTS is a non-profit organization established to promote the interests of the Gay community in Virginia. PTS creates a supportive social environment for its’ members and guests. PTS provides an open forum for the development of political, social, and other interests within its’ membership. When you join CLUB 216 you become a member of the PIEDMONT TRIANGLE SOCIETY.”

Now I’m sure you’re thinking “What were they doing at the gay bar? Was there a fire in the disco?” or “Wait, are you sure they weren’t stealing Bacardi Breezers from a gay bar?”  Apparently they were at the bar to enhance their chances at making the NFL… Brady Quinn was holding a combine in the men’s room.

UVA….we work hard, we play hard (Everybody Dance Now!)

In their defense, they had a great thirst, and it was the only place that served Schmitts Gay Beer.

I know the video screen is black but just click on it.

Posted in ACC Football, Gay Pride, Virginia Cavaliers | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Here’s A Way To Keep Gas Prices Down

Posted by Joel on July 7, 2008

Everyone is being affected by the high gas prices in our country right now. Our company, like most businesses, is seeing transportation and manufacturing costs rise almost exponentially. The average American is spending more on gas than at any time in our country’s history. Sadly, this trend, according to some analysts, will continue through the end of the year. Currently, Obama and McCain have included plans to help alleviate the energy crisis, and from barbershops to flea markets, everyone has an answer…including me ;-)

Yes, even a pagan such as myself has an answer to the gas crunch…

I would not dare suggest that we start drilling on the hallowed grounds of Notre Dame Stadium. But the Fighting Irish, warming up here last year against Navy (which Navy won), is the solution.

According to the World Almanac, in 1973, the average price of a gallon of gas in the U.S. was 51 cents a gallon. Notre Dame won the national title that year. Every year after, the price of gas went up on average of 3 cents a gallon. In 1977, gas was up to 65 cents a gallon. Notre Dame won the national title again. Gas prices did not rise again until 1979. But in 1980, gas went up into the 1 dollar range (right before the Gerry Faust era). When Lou Holtz delivered the Fighting Irish another title in 1986, gas actually went down to 93 cents, down from 1.20. Consequentially, gas prices experienced huge jumps in 1999 (when they were placed on probation under Bob Davie) and also in 2004 (when Ty Willingham was fired).

To me it is simple: We should all root for Notre Dame to win the national title this year. Get them a national TV contract. Continue to have high hopes for them, even if it may seem misguided. Give them a schedule that should guarantee some success. Like the great Paul Hornung said, “Get the black athlete”. Above all, someone in the national media, hell, make it two people in the national media, should stomp for them.

Only then the terrorists won’t win…Touchdown Jesus will…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, Ass Whipping, BCS, Big East, Brady Quinn, Charlie Weis, College Football, DUI, Football Poll, NCAA, NCAA Rules Violation, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Notre Dame, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Sports, University of Southern Cal, ass chewing, big 10, big ten, big ten football, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, drunk, football, notre dame sucks, tyrone Willingham | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Clemson Player Charged With Assault & Battery

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 24, 2008

A starting safety for the Clemson football team has been arrested on charges he laid the smack down on his girlfriend over the weekend.

DeAndre McDaniel, 20, has been charged with assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature.

The incident happened Saturday in the town of Central at an apartment.

According to the incident report, the victim told police that she and McDaniel had gotten into a verbal argument over who sucks worse Alabama or South Carolina. She says she pushed his head while he was lying on a bed. The report says he responded by putting a comforter over her head and began choking her believing she might like asphyxiation since all the cool kids are doing it. She says he also struck her in the face and head with a closed fist.

The victim told police he eventually pushed her down a set of stairs, and then punched her in the chest. She still contended that Alabama sucks worse than South Carolina. This writer agrees.

The woman was treated at a hospital for cervical sprain and contusions.

If this turns out to be true McDaniel should be removed from the Clemson team as well as society in general.

Posted in ACC Football, Asphyxiation, Assault & Battery, Clemson Tigers, Crime & Punishment | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Proof that Coach Cutcliffe is Bringing “Big Boy” Football to Duke & the ACC

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 5, 2008

Thaddeus Lewis, left, and Leon Wright

Even though I still think it’s career suicide Coach Cut is bound and determined to make Duke into a powerhouse. Proof of this task was revealed yesterday morning when starting quarterback Thaddeus Lewis and starting cornerback Leon Wright were cited for underage possession of alcohol.

It’s obviously clear that Cutcliffe is starting with the basics first. The next thing you know the Duke players will do something crazy like throw a party, hire strippers and then be falsely accused of rape. Wait…my bad that already happened to the lacrosse team. Maybe Coach Cut needs to speed up this process and have the players start smoking pot.

Lewis and Wright, both 20, were given Breathalyzer tests after they were stopped at 1:51 a.m. Both registered a .03 blood alcohol level. The legal limit is .08 however because both players are under 21they were issued useless citations for underage drinking.

A Duke spokesman said the school would not comment on the citations, and Duke football coach David Cutcliffe would handle the matter internally.

Normally when an a situation like this is handled “internally” it means being suspended for the cupcake games…just one problem…Duke is everyones cupcake team. Can we say police ride-a-longs anyone?

Posted in ACC Football, Crime & Punishment, David Cutcliffe, Duke Blue Devils | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »