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This season is lost though it’s not over: The Tennessee/Alabama Grade book

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 27, 2008

If a picture is worth a thousand words then the above photo is clearly a copy of War & Peace. Quite honestly that is also what best describes this season. The fans are at war with the coach and Fulmer is constantly trying to bring peace.

The Phreaky Phil-Osophy show goes on and on and on while the status of the Tennessee Football program goes down.

A lot of Tennessee fans had a “gut feeling” about this game. That feeling turned out to be a mirage of hope. This team is bad, no make that dreadful.

No matter how this rest of this season plays out Tennessee will not beat a major rival. This was the first time Tennessee has lost consecutive games to Bama in the Fulmer era. It’s another clear sign that it’s time for a coaching change.

“I’m obviously very disappointed,” said Fulmer. “We’re in a battle from top to bottom, whether it’s recruiting or whatever. But I’m more concerned about our team right now.”

Alabama beat up Tennessee for the same reason Florida did: both teams have better play makers on both sides of the ball. The VOLS didn’t even get a first down until the 13:42 mark in the 2nd quarter.

Tennessee is just 6-14 against ranked teams over the last four years and a stunning 1-9 at home against the Top 10 this decade.

If a storied NFL team like the Cowboys can cut ties with a coach that gave them 2 Super Bowl victories and 5 appearances, then surely Tennessee can cut ties with Fulmer. Bring in some fresh blood and reawaken this program.

Of course Phil continues with saying the right things.

“All I know,” Fulmer said, “is we’ll keep working to get it fixed.”

Where have I heard that before?

Let’s look at these weeks grades and see just what needs fixing.

QUARTERBACK C+

Stephens still has not turned the ball over since he took the job from Crapton Crompton. He was 16 of 28 for 137 yards. However he made some questionable throws and missed some open wide receivers.

RUNNING BACKS D

36 rushing yards. Pathetic. Absolutely no explosive runs. I do credit Hardesty for making a first down due to second effort

RECEIVERS D

Clearly Gerald Jones was missed and fears of seeing Chavis in drag allowed Eric Berry only one opportunity on offense. Taylor and Stocker each had drops. I’m not going to blame Taylor for the offensive pass interference penalty though, that was total BS.

OFFENSIVE LINE F

Though this group got a good push in short yardage situations, they also had two penalties at critical times.

DEFENSIVE LINE C+

Robert Ayers continues to shine. The game score could have turned out different if Dan Williams didn’t suffer an injury.

LINEBACKERS C-

Even though Rico McCoy had 13 tackles he often knocked on his ass and they were so far down field that it didn’t make much of a difference. Ellix Wilson had nine stops as well.

SECONDARY A-

Eric Berry had 11 tackles and laid the wood on several Bama players. DeAngelo Willingham was picked on by Bama forcing man-to-man coverage to stop the run.

SPECIAL TEAMS C

LaMarcus Thompson forced fumble on a Bama punt that was recovered by Rogan at the five yard line. Colquitt had a productive night though he shanked a punt that was costly. Lincoln Logs missed a 51 yard field goal, but I’m not going to blame him for that because that’s clearly out of his range, but he should have made that 43 yard attempt.

COACHING F/A

The A is for the defense. Considering they received zero help from the offense they deserve it. Offensively Clawson called a boring and horrid game. When the VOLS needed big plays the calls were not made.

OVERALL F

Though the defense was solid and the special teams were productive, the offense is awful and laughable. The penalties that the offensive committed during opportunistic situations took points off the board.

A look ahead:

South Carolina is next week and believe it or not I think Tennessee should win this game. South Carolina’s run game is actually worse than ours. Stephens has an advantage due to the fact he protects the ball by not throwing interceptions and not fumbling. This should be a low scoring affair. Both defenses are equally good but I believe our secondary is considerably better.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Ass Whipping, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Eric Berry, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »

The War that is known as the 3rd Saturday in October

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 24, 2008

 

Most experts say that fans take sports and cheering for their favorite teams to seriously. In most cases I tend to agree with them. However those experts have never experienced the Third Saturday in October either. They do not know the joy or exhilaration of seeing the Tennessee Volunteers or the Alabama Crimson Tide take the field right before kickoff. Those experts have never felt the excitement in the air that is buzzing around when the teams line up.

This game is much more than a simple competition between two border state rival schools. This game is about passion, heart, pride & respect! And nothing means more than to these two teams than respect.

For Phil Fulmer this year’s game is about his legacy and his coaching career at Tennessee. For Nick Saban this year’s game is about a possible BCS birth and the chance to play for the national championship.

It’s hard to say who has the most to lose in this game. If Tennessee loses then Fulmer is most likely out as the head coach & if Saban loses then people will still question the hire by Alabama and people will point to this lose with an “I told ya so” attitude.

It is also equally hard to say who has the most to gain by a victory. If Tennessee wins then Fulmer will most likely keep his job as the head coach whether he wins out or not. A win would also propel the VOLS into a brighter national light. The number seven recruiting class that Fulmer is currently building could jump to number one. If Alabama wins then Saban brings Alabama to an 8-0 record and a possible number one ranking. The road to the BCS National Championship becomes ever so closer. And of course Saban could reel in yet another top rated recruiting class.

For the fans this game is an oxymoron of painful orgasmic joy. They live and die on every play, every called timeout & every injury. Both fan bases are smart enough to know that one can throw out the win/loss records for these two schools when they play. That fact alone makes rivalry games like this so intense.

Throw out what the experts say about sports and the seriousness of being a fan. They have never witnessed college gridiron gladiators battle each other like these two teams. If you look into the fans eyes on this holy day you will see both love & hate. Love for their favorite team and hate for the opposing team.

The Sunday following the game (or Monday for some fans) as the players and fans alike are recovering from their injuries or walking on air, the realization should set in that this is simply a game. However the fact that their memory will either joyously or painfully remind them of the final score and then reality actually sets in.

This is not a game. This is war that is fought only once a year and victors of that year’s war savor every moment of it for many times over in their heads. I’ve always said a good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team.

Ladies and Gentlemen this is not a game: THIS IS THE BATTLE KNOWN AS THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER!!!!!!

GO VOLS! Beat Bama!!!

Now let’s review some past Bama farks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Big Orange, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Alabama Week Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 22, 2008

That’s right folks it’s Alabama week and one can not have an Alabama week with the Big Orange Roundtable now can we? Taking a cue from the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, both Billy Bob Bammer and I will be answering the questions this week.

With out further a due let’s go to the roundtable!!! (Never mind the smell it’s Bama related)

Both teams at some point or another have been described as an Evil Empire.  If your team is the Death Star, what is its planet-destroying weapon?

Thomas the Terrible: Simple Eric Berry. He is the crusher of the dreams for the QB’s and hits like hell, just ask Knowshon Moreno. He has already accumulated 5 interceptions this season and leads the county in interceptions as well.

He is a lock for all-American and possibly defensive player of the year in the SEC, unless the ref that tackled Stephen Garcia steals it. Not to mention he is also a tackling machine.

Billy Bob Bammer: Shoot that there is a easy one. Our boosters. You see our boosters pay the players more than what they might receive in the NFL. How the hell you think we get such good players in the first place?

The one thing a young man needs to worry when coming to Bama is football. You say you have a test in painting by numbers? Our boosters will gladly take that test for you.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Beat Bama, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Fulmer, GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, UT vols, boosters, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

College Football Week 6 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 5, 2008

Let’s be honest for the most part yesterday was an exciting & entertaining crappy day of college football.

As always I’ll have a full review of the Tennessee game tomorrow after I watch a tape of the game today. For the most part the death clock continues to toll for Philopotamus.

Pittsburgh is still alive in the Big Least and shot down South Florida which I was glad to see.

Duke was on a roll until they met another team from a “smart school” that was also a buzz saw name Georgia Tech.

Michigan State continues to quietly win while Iowa continues to quietly suck.

Has anyone noticed that Minnesota is 5-1?

Right now Penn State is the most underrated top 10 team in the country.

I asked this question on a message board this week it is worth asking again. Should Arkansas be considered a Div. 2-A school this season? I bet Atlanta doesn’t look so bad to Bobby P. now huh?

Kansas, remember them? Well they almost were victims of an upset yesterday.

Oklahoma didn’t have any trouble winning their first game as the #1 in the country.

Virginia Tech is suddenly the team to beat in the ACC.

Notre Dame is 4-1 and almost lost to Stanford. With their weak schedule why aren’t they in the top 5? (Sarcasm people catch the fever!)

The Fighting Zookers of Illinois reinserts themselves in to the Big 10.

Wisconsin is on the fail slide.

Texas Tech is 5-0 and it looks like their offense has awaked.

I hate F$U but they are 4-1 and their game with Miami was a classic.

UCONN is the latest Big East failure.

America’s coach Mike Gundy has Oklahoma State at 5-0. He’s a man he’s 40! By God.

Holy shit just when you think Maryland is coming back and Virginia is dead. Virginia dismantles Maryland big time.

Arizona is 4-1 look for them to be ranked later today.

Oregon you picked a bad time to play SoCal.

Missouri might be the best team in the country right now and Chase is clearly the Heisman leader.

Wow Hawaii beat Fresno State…wow.

Vanderbilt upends Auburn at home which worries the hell out of me.

South Carolina’s offense finally shows life and Garcia still isn’t a starter, maybe he should key another professor’s car to get a little attention.

While Bama might have won yesterday the fact that Kentucky has the #1 scoring defense in the nation is no fluke.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, Big East, Big Twelve Football, Duke Blue Devils, FSU, Florida State Seminoles, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Illinois Fighting Illini, Kentucky Wildcats, Maryland, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Oklahoma sooners, Ole Miss, Pac 10 football, Pitt Panthers, SEC Football, SoCal, South Florida Bulls, Stephen Garcia, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Tech Red Raiders, University of Southern Cal, Vanderbilt Commodores, Virginia Cavaliers, Virginia Tech, War Eagle, Wisconsin Badgers, Zooker, big ten football, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, kansas jayhawks, notre dame sucks, ole miss rebels, vandy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »

Alabama has been stripped of the Logan Young National Recruiting Championship

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 29, 2008

Credit LWS for this awesome pic.

Credit LWS for this awesome pic.

Since it appears that Billy Bob Bammer has hijacked this blog as of late, I guess I should mention Bama’s fall from recruiting grace.

It seems that Rivals has revised its 2008 recruiting rankings based on who actually made it to their campus of choice. With Bama losing several four-star athletes such as Kerry Murphy because he was to stupid to qualify academically and players, Melvin Ray and Destin Hood, who both decided to play professional Baseball instead of receiving bags of cash, can only mean one thing:

Bama falls to Number 2.

On the surface it isn’t much, just a number that really doesn’t mean it will translate to wins after all Coach 0 proved that. However losing the coveted Logan Young National Recruiting Championship to Notre Dame of all schools, right before playing a talented team such as Clemson has to be devastating to the ego of Satan Saban the Behr Reincarnated.

I’m sure Billy Bob Bammer is suicidal at this point.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, SEC, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume VIII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

Sings “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” I hate that song but right now is the most wonderful time of the year because college football is about to kickoff. How fitting it is to have the craziest Big Orange Roundtablers, Losers with Socks, to be the host this week.

Now call your kids and/or significant other to the computer and STFU because we’re going to the Roundtable.

1. In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

For me the perfect time would be 7:00 PM EST. In my perfect world that would give me the time to get my exercise in by throwing unopened jars of baby food at the homeless AKA Bammers, leave plenty of time to blog about how much UCLA sucks ass & watch Judge Judy.

2. Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

I’m sure Coach Fulmer lost sleep over that embarrassing loss to Bama last year but not because of the choices he made but devising a way to enact full revenge for this years game.

I’m sure if we lose a game by three points the coaches will ponder about the choices they made during and before the game, but lose sleep completely….no.

Phil making it rain....

3. Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshmen against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

I’m going to allow Billy Bob Bammer to answer this question. After the 11 arrests unfortunate incidents this off-season, Lord Saban has no choice but to start the freshmen. I’m not sure that Saban will start 10 freshmen against Clemson. It is my belief that Saban is doing what he does best and that is lying through his teeth playing mind games.

If Lord Saban AKA the Behr Reincarnated doesn’t win against Tennessee, Auburn and gets Croomed again then I is sure the Red Elephant Club will be reluctant to give him a pass. Then again he is the most powerful man in football at least according to Forbes and A.I.L. magazine (Alabama Incest Love) so he might get a pass. I’m out of here I gots squirrels to hunt!

RTR Bitches!

4. Critique Lou Holtz as a ESPN “analyst”. Irish and Cock Homer or scripted live rassler?

I personally love Lou Holtz…when he’s not within earshot of me. Holtz is the evil moke announcer of ESPN. Someone says something intelligent Holtz is compelled to disagree. I would say that some of his spoken drivel is scripted but the “Lou Lisp” makes it impossible to tell.

The final analysis is he’s a criminally insane Irish Homer who loves the Cock. Funny thing is neither present day fan base can stand him now.

Oh yeah he sucks at everything he does.

Be sure to stop by all the Big Orange Roundtable members’ blogs for their answers.

Posted in Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, Cocks, Fuck Bama, Fulmer, Go Vols, Holtz, Lord Saban, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Nick Saban, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Vol. V Roundup AKA Where in the World is the Power T?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 8, 2008

Folks it’s time for the roundup of this weeks questions. Since I’m the host I get to choose the two best answers from our esteemed Roundtable members.

Before we begin I have some sad news. We think the creative writers of the Power T have been kidnapped and are in a remote cesspool filled location like Tuscaloosa. So far their captors have not made a ransom demand but we have a team of crack heads crackerjack team of skilled Big Orange Special Forces operatives searching their whereabouts as I type. Let us all pray for their return and the crushing of Alabama.

Alrighty then: On to the roundup

1. One former VOL made the brave choice to testify against some Bammers and has to enter witness protection with a whole new identity, but that also gives him 4 more years of eligibility. Which VOL would you pick and why?

Our newest member, A View from the Hill said:

“That said, I’m gonna go old-school (for me at least) with Jay Graham, because he broke the Bammers’ hearts two straight years, and I think he just scored on the Tide again. Proof…”

Sweet! I like him already

SESB said:

“Our host made an excellent choice with Al Haynesworth, and because defensive tackle would appear to be our thinnest position, I’m gonna take his partner in crime, John Henderson.”

2. Alabama has been given the death penalty and is forced to leave the SEC, at the same time South Carolina decides it can win a lot more in the Sunbelt conference and bolts the SEC. Two teams have to take their place who would you like to see

LWS had the most entertaining answer:

“It is so satisfying to see a a plan come together.  The plan that I am talking about is the letter writing campaign that I have advocated to expel this infected program into the void known as the Mountain West Conference.  I would think that Clemson would be a logical fit since their fans are not used to “moral” victories like Carolina fans.  They expect to win every week unlike SCAR who always finds a way to lose.  Georgia Tech would be awesome too.  Aren’t they like the original owners of UGA?”

And Fulmer’s Belly was equally as entertaining:

“First, for Alabama, we want the New England Patriots.  Let’s replace one cheating team with another.  For South Carolina we’ll take Illinois.  Say what you will about Zook, but at least we could beat him.”

3. What will be the toughest road game to win and why?

Rocky Top Talk proclaims:

“But then I remembered Auburn. Let’s just say I don’t have fond memories of the Tigers. Any team that can make Jason Allen look like a poor tackler is frightening. Plus, the game is the week after Florida. Lose at Florida, and it’ll be here we go again again . Win at Florida, and it’ll feel like we have it made. Neither scenario is good. Auburn’s talented and well-coached. They generally play us well, and following Florida isn’t a good thing, so I’m saying that’ll be the toughest away game this season.”

Moondog shouts:

Auburn. Coming off an emotional game against the Gators and having to visit the Plains the following week is going to be the most difficult game of the season for the Vols.

Even with a victory against Florida, its next to impossible to recapture that same level of emotion. Not to mention, if the Vols enter the game undefeated, Auburn is going to have extra incentive to hand the Vols their first loss.

4.Could have the great Coach Fulmer handled himself better at the SEC media event when he was asked about the subpoena instead of asking what subpoena?

Gate 21 had the most logical answer but he’s an attorney. I play an attorney on this blog only.

“No.  As a lawyer, the worst thing you can have a client do is publicly acknowledge they were served when either: 1) they weren’t served or 2) you want to be able to challenge service despite the fact that the papers ended-up in their hands.”

3rd Saturday in Blogtober had the best answer though

Absolutely and without question. Listen, Fulmer is our coach, and I’m going to support him, but it does no good lying to the media. If you lie to the media, you lie to your own fans because the media is the buffer between the players/coaches and the general public.

All Fulmer had to do when questioned in Birmingham that day was say something like,

“I did receive something that I was informed was a subpoena, but obviously I refuse to talk about that at this time. My lawyers and I will evaluate the situation and work like heck to get it resolved before the season starts. This week is meant for this great conference, 12 prestigious institutions and the student athletes who represent these institutions, and I am not about to let a couple of hoodwinks and swindlers sabotage what this day means to us nationally. I am not interested in the SEC being a laughingstock just because some of the ignorant residents of one state are.”

Now, that would have given the media something to sink its teeth into. It also would have taken some of the focus off of what essentially was a non-situation. Instead, it escalated when it didn’t need to and threatens to rear its ugly head at some point during the season - likely before the Vols head to Auburn.

Listen, I hate, hate, HATE this situation for Fulmer because it’s long dead and in the past. But lying doesn’t do anybody any good, and in this day of modern media and so many different variations of media, you’re not going to get away with it … especially not at a circus like the SEC Media Days in Birmingham. It just could have - and should have - been handled better all the way around. Instead, it turned into a PR fiasco, and led to Fulmer’s statement, which really meant this.

Well this concludes my rein of terror as king for a week. Next week we will have hopefully would have rescued our comrades from the clutches of dirty Bammers. Next week is Moondog Sports turn to host and be king for a week.

Remember:

A good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team.

You can checkout everyone’s answers by clicking the links below.

Posted in Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Cage fighting bammer gets jail time. Alternative title: Lou Holtz is a retard

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 8, 2008

Joey Barrett Jr. as thrust himself into the finalist of Alabama fan of year. Here is the distasteful tale of a Bammer, Auburn fans and a retard named Louie Holtz. (Story)

I always knew Lou Holtz was retarded.

Joey Barrett is a tough Bammer SOB why he’s even a cage fighter that comes from a cage fighting family. In 2005 Barrett challenged two Auburn students by yelling “Roll Tide” in front of the Phi Kappa Tau fraternity house on the eve of the Iron Bowl.

Now that’s tough! Of course Barrett also had a knife (Cheater!! But he’s a Bammer what would you expect?) and stabbed one of the fraternity brothers who had to be rushed to the hospital with a collapsed lung.

The police levied a litany of assault charges against him causing his father, Daddy Barrett who is also known as King of Abba Shrine Center cage fighters, to whine that his offspring was being “railroaded”.

During the first trial in 2006 Barrett’s defense attorneys told the jury that man named Louie Holtz was the one that stabbed the Auburn student and not his angelic cage fighting client.

Here’s the kicker. Louie Holtz is mentally retarded so the judge ordered that he be represented by council. Holtz’s attorneys advised him not to testify. Since the jury had already heard Barrett’s sleazy lawyers state during the trial that Holtz was the stabber the judge had to declare a mistrial.

Now how would a retarded man get involved in such a thing? Well the prosecution decided to investigate and found out that Barrett bribed Holtz with a car (probably something sporty that a bammer would love like a 87 Berretta) to take the blame for his misgivings.

Once, Billy Bob Bammer paid a homeless man named Petey Carroll three bottles of rubbing alcohol to confess to the murder of a prostitute.

Oh Barrett knew how to cheat. He might even have a job with the university when he’s released from jail.

Feeling the heat Barrett copped a plea and was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years probation for first-degree assault, as well as one year, to run concurrently with the first penalty, for bribing a retard.

Daddy Barrett AKA King of Abba Shrine Center cage fighters could not be reached for comment after the trial which is typical. After all the whining he did. Rumor has it that he is training for his next match. I pity his opponent.

Meanwhile Barrett Jr. will be in the Mobile County Metro Jail serving his time and hopefully being raped by a large Auburn fan.

Alabama: Paying retards to take credit for the work done by others both on and off the field.

Stay classy Bammers!!!

Barrett's defense attorneys notice the nancy-boy in the skirt

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Crime & Punishment, Roll Tide, cheaters | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Vol. V

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 4, 2008

This that time again, time too go to the roundtable First I want to thank LawVol at Gate 21 for making a seamless hand off. I also want to welcome the newest member of the roundtable: The View from the Hill.

This week is my turn to be king so I proclaim “Off with the heads of Bammers!” That being said let’s go to the questions.

1. One former VOL made the brave choice to testify against some Bammers and has to enter witness protection with a whole new identity, but that also gives him 4 more years of eligibility. Which VOL would you pick and why?

My choice is Albert Haynesworth. He would bigger and stronger than any of our opponents not mention he has a nasty mean streak in him. That mean streak would hold true to my decry of offing the heads of Bammers.  Except he would use his feet. His size and power would equal to at least 12 sacks alone.

2. Alabama has been given the death penalty and is forced to leave the SEC, at the same time South Carolina decides it can win a lot more in the Sunbelt conference and bolts the SEC. Two teams have to take their place who would you like to see take their place?

To replace South Carolina the obvious choice would be Clemson. I’ve been to many a Clemson game and there are “Bama-like” fanatics. The atmosphere is somewhat reminiscent of a SEC game. Plus an added advantage would be they have an excellent baseball program and an up & coming basketball program.  More competition breeds better teams for all.

To replace Alabama is a tougher tack though. In the past one could have said go with Southern Miss but that program is on the decline. There’s always UAB…but that wouldn’t work either.

My choice would be Texas. It could set a huge Third Saturday in October rivalry pitting burnt orange against Holy Orange. Plus it would make the rivalry it has with Arkansas back to a yearly affair.

Let’s not forget about the revenue both these teams would also bring to the SEC.

3. What will be the toughest road game to win and why?

I sent shock waves to some non-Roundtable Vols fans last week by predicting the beloved Tennessee Vols to lose to USC now let me explain why.

South Carolina’s most hated rival is Clemson but their most hated SEC rival is Tennessee with Georgia trailing in a very close third. South Carolina doesn’t hate the Vols because of some past traditional rivalry. They have no tradition. Their hated of us is due to self-hate and one thing. And that would be:

jeal·ousy (jel′əs ē)

Noun

  1. the quality or condition of being jealous
  2. pl. -·ous·ies an instance of this; jealous feeling

Most Carolina fans hate USC but they love losers. They hate their football program for never stepping up and becoming a powerhouse no matter what conference they have been in. The fans in return transfer that hate to Tennessee. With Georgia they can say they have at least won a few by trading off victories and losses with the Bulldogs as time has passed however they can not do the same with Tennessee.

You might think I’m joking but I live in Columbia which is the heart of all Gamecock fans. I hear the snide comments before the games and the vicious comments after the game. These comments are not from people I know. Just yesterday I standing in the check-out line at Kroger and overheard one Gamecock fan say that if they beat Tennessee and Clemson this season but lose the rest it would be a great year. I wasn’t wearing anything that would identify me as being a Tennessee fan.

When a Gamecock fan “pleases” his or herself, they dream of defeating Tennessee at home only the finish with the money shot of them defeating Clemson. Lately that line of distinction between Tennessee & Clemson has drawn smaller in their eyes.

To make matters worse they hired the Evil Lying Steve God Spurrier who did lead the Gamecocks to a victory over Tennessee his first year. Granted that was also the same year the great Coach Fulmer has his first losing season ever. It was that victory that led these poor misguided fans to believe they have turned that mythical corner. Of course for the past 2 years Tennessee has prevailed.

Carolina started hot last year and then fizzled dramatically. If you ask the fans as to why they will most likely go back to the Tennessee loss. Their disdain for the Vols is almost as strong as Alabama’s hatred for Tennessee.

So this will be the toughest road game. Fulmer will have to deal with 80,000 or so Gamecock fans and looking across the field at the great Lying God Spurrier. This is the game that has turned Spurrier into a liar by allowing Garcia to come back even though he flatly stated he wouldn’t if he got into trouble one more time after keying that professor’s car. You can bet barring injury that Garcia will be starting against Tennessee not Smelly, not Beecher but the three time arrested in a fifteen month period Garcia.

If my beloved Vols win this game and I’m praying like crazy that they do, I will proudly go into work Monday dressed in orange and giving every Gamecock fan there a two finger salute, if you know what I mean.

4. Could have the great Coach Fulmer handled himself better at the SEC media event when he was asked about the subpoena instead of asking what subpoena?

Yes very much so. He could have something like”

“You see the BS I have to put up with? The rogue booster isn’t making my or the University of Tennessee football program  look bad, Instead they’re making Alabama look pitiful and they are making themselves look like some jilted lover.

It’s hard enough to be the dean of the SEC and I am 27 wins shy of sitting atop Tennessee’s all-time list, and there have been some pretty fair coaches along the way like General Neyland, Doug Dickey, Bill Battle and Johnny Majors.

I rank seventh all-time in wins among SEC coaches with 147; yet my salary ranks seventh among the current league coaches. Do you the media think I deserve this crap? Of course you don’t!

Never mind that my 1998 Tennessee team did not lose in 13 games and claimed the national championship. Never mind that the teams I’ve coached have won seven divisional titles and two SEC championships. Never mind that nine times my Tennessee teams have won at least 10 games in a season.

Instead you want to talk about some silly subpoena that I was served. We’re here to talk about football and by God that’s what I attend to do. Bitches!”

The Roundtable Membership

This concludes your kings’ questions for this week. Keep checking back here though because I’ll be linking to the other Big Orange Roundtablers for their responses to my questions as they themselves have answered them. As your king for this week I bid you a farewell. Remember: A good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team! GO VOS!

Posted in Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Fulmer, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Hells Yeah!!! The SEC rulez in this Top 20 poll as well!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

We all know the SEC generally dominates the football polls this year; well they also dominate the Princeton Review list of top party schools in the country!!!

Let’s break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn’t look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona State Sundevils, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Colorado Buffalos, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerrell Powe, Rocky Top, SEC,