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Archive for the ‘Bama’zoids’ Category

I blame the ass whooping Utah was putting on Bama when this happened

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 13, 2009

Is that Teddy Bear kidding with the "Rold Tied" on its shirt?

Apparently Billy Bob Bammer is MIA ever since the Tide embarrassed the entire SEC with their lose to Utah, since I’m partly blaming Utah for Billy Bob’s disappearance I suppose I could blame them for the latest Bama fan brawl.

“Hartford Police Chief Ben Berry said 52-year-old Timothy Fowler had held an Alabama football party on Friday and a fight broke out during a card game. Berry said Fowler apparently swung a flashlight at another man, who then punched Fowler’s face in the front yard. Berry said alcohol may have been a factor.”

Classic Alabamian… bringing a flashlight to a fistfight.

I love how they say that alcohol “may” have been a factor…I guess you could say stupidity could have been a factor as well.

My grandma always used to say “The more Bama fans murdering each other the better. Also fuck Florida.” She was a little on violent/senile side.

Alabama, making Ohio look good since 1819!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, SEC Football, Utah Utes | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Bama Fans make the Best Prostitutes (If you equate best to skanky)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 19, 2008

Police in Montgomery, Alabama took down a prostitution ring yesterday that netted 7 sluts and 3 white trash pimps. Good job!

While looking through the mug shots picture 8 really stands out. It’s name is Leslie Parker and it’s obvious she’s a Bama fan! RTR!

She’s just trying to get paid by any means necessary… one might call her behavior “Saban-esque”. She may only charge a dollar but she feels like a millionaire. RTR!

alabama-pros

Rammer Jammer, Skank goes to the Slammer

She looks like the looks like the bastard child of Jeremy Shockey and Molly Ringwald. Let me guess. You take her home to your wife/girlfriend and your better half automatically feels better about herself…right?

The jerseys are actually a form of “prostitution code”. For example, the Johns are supposed to sport something from the University of South Carolina.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, Hookers, SEC, Skank | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

This season is lost though it’s not over: The Tennessee/Alabama Grade book

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 27, 2008

If a picture is worth a thousand words then the above photo is clearly a copy of War & Peace. Quite honestly that is also what best describes this season. The fans are at war with the coach and Fulmer is constantly trying to bring peace.

The Phreaky Phil-Osophy show goes on and on and on while the status of the Tennessee Football program goes down.

A lot of Tennessee fans had a “gut feeling” about this game. That feeling turned out to be a mirage of hope. This team is bad, no make that dreadful.

No matter how this rest of this season plays out Tennessee will not beat a major rival. This was the first time Tennessee has lost consecutive games to Bama in the Fulmer era. It’s another clear sign that it’s time for a coaching change.

“I’m obviously very disappointed,” said Fulmer. “We’re in a battle from top to bottom, whether it’s recruiting or whatever. But I’m more concerned about our team right now.”

Alabama beat up Tennessee for the same reason Florida did: both teams have better play makers on both sides of the ball. The VOLS didn’t even get a first down until the 13:42 mark in the 2nd quarter.

Tennessee is just 6-14 against ranked teams over the last four years and a stunning 1-9 at home against the Top 10 this decade.

If a storied NFL team like the Cowboys can cut ties with a coach that gave them 2 Super Bowl victories and 5 appearances, then surely Tennessee can cut ties with Fulmer. Bring in some fresh blood and reawaken this program.

Of course Phil continues with saying the right things.

“All I know,” Fulmer said, “is we’ll keep working to get it fixed.”

Where have I heard that before?

Let’s look at these weeks grades and see just what needs fixing.

QUARTERBACK C+

Stephens still has not turned the ball over since he took the job from Crapton Crompton. He was 16 of 28 for 137 yards. However he made some questionable throws and missed some open wide receivers.

RUNNING BACKS D

36 rushing yards. Pathetic. Absolutely no explosive runs. I do credit Hardesty for making a first down due to second effort

RECEIVERS D

Clearly Gerald Jones was missed and fears of seeing Chavis in drag allowed Eric Berry only one opportunity on offense. Taylor and Stocker each had drops. I’m not going to blame Taylor for the offensive pass interference penalty though, that was total BS.

OFFENSIVE LINE F

Though this group got a good push in short yardage situations, they also had two penalties at critical times.

DEFENSIVE LINE C+

Robert Ayers continues to shine. The game score could have turned out different if Dan Williams didn’t suffer an injury.

LINEBACKERS C-

Even though Rico McCoy had 13 tackles he often knocked on his ass and they were so far down field that it didn’t make much of a difference. Ellix Wilson had nine stops as well.

SECONDARY A-

Eric Berry had 11 tackles and laid the wood on several Bama players. DeAngelo Willingham was picked on by Bama forcing man-to-man coverage to stop the run.

SPECIAL TEAMS C

LaMarcus Thompson forced fumble on a Bama punt that was recovered by Rogan at the five yard line. Colquitt had a productive night though he shanked a punt that was costly. Lincoln Logs missed a 51 yard field goal, but I’m not going to blame him for that because that’s clearly out of his range, but he should have made that 43 yard attempt.

COACHING F/A

The A is for the defense. Considering they received zero help from the offense they deserve it. Offensively Clawson called a boring and horrid game. When the VOLS needed big plays the calls were not made.

OVERALL F

Though the defense was solid and the special teams were productive, the offense is awful and laughable. The penalties that the offensive committed during opportunistic situations took points off the board.

A look ahead:

South Carolina is next week and believe it or not I think Tennessee should win this game. South Carolina’s run game is actually worse than ours. Stephens has an advantage due to the fact he protects the ball by not throwing interceptions and not fumbling. This should be a low scoring affair. Both defenses are equally good but I believe our secondary is considerably better.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Ass Whipping, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Eric Berry, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The War that is known as the 3rd Saturday in October

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 24, 2008

 

Most experts say that fans take sports and cheering for their favorite teams to seriously. In most cases I tend to agree with them. However those experts have never experienced the Third Saturday in October either. They do not know the joy or exhilaration of seeing the Tennessee Volunteers or the Alabama Crimson Tide take the field right before kickoff. Those experts have never felt the excitement in the air that is buzzing around when the teams line up.

This game is much more than a simple competition between two border state rival schools. This game is about passion, heart, pride & respect! And nothing means more than to these two teams than respect.

For Phil Fulmer this year’s game is about his legacy and his coaching career at Tennessee. For Nick Saban this year’s game is about a possible BCS birth and the chance to play for the national championship.

It’s hard to say who has the most to lose in this game. If Tennessee loses then Fulmer is most likely out as the head coach & if Saban loses then people will still question the hire by Alabama and people will point to this lose with an “I told ya so” attitude.

It is also equally hard to say who has the most to gain by a victory. If Tennessee wins then Fulmer will most likely keep his job as the head coach whether he wins out or not. A win would also propel the VOLS into a brighter national light. The number seven recruiting class that Fulmer is currently building could jump to number one. If Alabama wins then Saban brings Alabama to an 8-0 record and a possible number one ranking. The road to the BCS National Championship becomes ever so closer. And of course Saban could reel in yet another top rated recruiting class.

For the fans this game is an oxymoron of painful orgasmic joy. They live and die on every play, every called timeout & every injury. Both fan bases are smart enough to know that one can throw out the win/loss records for these two schools when they play. That fact alone makes rivalry games like this so intense.

Throw out what the experts say about sports and the seriousness of being a fan. They have never witnessed college gridiron gladiators battle each other like these two teams. If you look into the fans eyes on this holy day you will see both love & hate. Love for their favorite team and hate for the opposing team.

The Sunday following the game (or Monday for some fans) as the players and fans alike are recovering from their injuries or walking on air, the realization should set in that this is simply a game. However the fact that their memory will either joyously or painfully remind them of the final score and then reality actually sets in.

This is not a game. This is war that is fought only once a year and victors of that year’s war savor every moment of it for many times over in their heads. I’ve always said a good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team.

Ladies and Gentlemen this is not a game: THIS IS THE BATTLE KNOWN AS THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER!!!!!!

GO VOLS! Beat Bama!!!

Now let’s review some past Bama farks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Big Orange, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Alabama Week Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 22, 2008

That’s right folks it’s Alabama week and one can not have an Alabama week with the Big Orange Roundtable now can we? Taking a cue from the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, both Billy Bob Bammer and I will be answering the questions this week.

With out further a due let’s go to the roundtable!!! (Never mind the smell it’s Bama related)

Both teams at some point or another have been described as an Evil Empire.  If your team is the Death Star, what is its planet-destroying weapon?

Thomas the Terrible: Simple Eric Berry. He is the crusher of the dreams for the QB’s and hits like hell, just ask Knowshon Moreno. He has already accumulated 5 interceptions this season and leads the county in interceptions as well.

He is a lock for all-American and possibly defensive player of the year in the SEC, unless the ref that tackled Stephen Garcia steals it. Not to mention he is also a tackling machine.

Billy Bob Bammer: Shoot that there is a easy one. Our boosters. You see our boosters pay the players more than what they might receive in the NFL. How the hell you think we get such good players in the first place?

The one thing a young man needs to worry when coming to Bama is football. You say you have a test in painting by numbers? Our boosters will gladly take that test for you.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Beat Bama, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Fulmer, GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, UT vols, boosters, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Billy Bob Bammer 1 The Rogue Cop of West Columbia 0

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 29, 2008

It seems that tricking the Rogue Cop of West Columbia is easier than I thought. Since he announced the news that he was looking for me I’ve been covering my tracks purdy good. RTR!

The latest twist is he thinks he broke into my house and seized some meth-making equipment but it wasn’t my house it was my cousin’s house, Berry Bob Bammer. RTR

This is my place go compare it to that dump Berry lives in. RTR (Sorry Berry)

See I own several Jimmy Johns franchises in and around the T-Town Ghetto area so I quit dealing with meth…errr I mean I’m a legit business man. However Berry unfortunately thinks he can make meth more marketable. He has even talked of opening a Mike Price strip club.

See what people like the Rogue Cop doesn’t understand is those big time Bama boosters like me are protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

As you can see from the photo below we’re presently building an alter to the Behr and for that added realism effect, the hat was doused with copious amounts of bourbon. RTR! The hat would have been bigger, but Phil Fulmer secretly conspired with the NCAA to force the manufacturer to keep it at 550 pounds.

I'm protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

I hear Auburn’s doing the same thing only with a giant Massengale Bottle in honor of Tuberville. RTR! There’s also a rumor floating around that Auburn has recruited the “Super Best Friends” to construct and animate a giant Bo Jackson to break in and steal our giant Behr Bryant alter, but don’t worry we’ll be ready for them. RTR!

Anywho back to Rogue Cop…see we’re protected from all forms of justice. Logan Young didn’t become a martyr for nuffin! Now there is a splinter group that call themselves Sabantologist…they might be AS protected as I am but they are protected because Saban is the Behr reincarnated! RTR!

Better luck next time Rogue Cop I’m Atlanter bound to watch the Tide score 300 points against Clemson.

RTR Bitches!

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Clemson Tigers, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Roll Tide, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Forbes names Saban an official Man-God!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 15, 2008

That’s right! Forbes has officially named our Behr reincarnated Nick Saban as God! Well at least close to it. Everyone knows Coach Bryant is the one true savior! rtr! But Saban is his son! RTR!!!

Outside of Squirrel Hunting Weekly I normally don’t read much, but I learned that Forbes has named the Behr’s personal disciple Nick Saban “Most powerful coach in sports.”

See? I told ya he was named God. RTR!

So what if Tim “Teabag” Tebow is on the cover of Men’s Fitness. If we got to play Florida we would own them! That is after we get over the 6-6 regular season record, learn to beat Georgia, and learn to beat Louisiana Lafayette. Rtr

All that will come in time. That one hounds tooth crown of thorns today has already started laying groundwork. For starters he done went and took Louisiana Lafayette off the schedule. Rtr!

He’s already brung us a the Logan Young recruiting national title and soon we will lay claim the Fulmer Cup. Let’s look at this write up that Forbes has done.

“But in Tuscaloosa, which was desperate to return to national football prominence, Saban, 56, was a savior, welcomed with an open wallet. Saban, with his agent, James E. Sexton II, negotiated an eight-year, $32 million contract that was, at the time, the highest salary ever paid to a college coach. It remains among the highest and is bigger than all but a handful of NFL coaching salaries. His deal includes, among other perks, 25 hours of private use of a university airplane, two cars and a country club membership, extras that make his annual compensation closer to $5 million a year, estimates Smith College economics professor Andrew Zimbalist. He can leave the school at any time without financial penalty, a rarity in big-time college coaching contracts.

Do huh? He gets all that? And all we get so far is a 7-6 season with embarrassing loses including back to back loses to Mississippi State?

Breath deeply Billy Bob he will lead us to the promise land & salivation of a BCS title. What else is he stealing from us getting?

“What’s more, he was given total control of the football program: recruiting, coaching, business administration and public relations. There are coaches at other universities who have similar salaries, like Charlie Weis at Notre Dame and Pete Carroll at the University of Southern California. But no coach, including those in the professional leagues, can match Saban’s combination of money, control and influence. Saban, now entering his second year as the coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide, is the most powerful coach in sports.

Holy Mother of Behr! Well no worries if Forbes has named him most powerful coach then it’s gotta be true. After all Forbes knows mediocrity winners. Rtr bitches!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Forbes, Nick Saban, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cage fighting bammer gets jail time. Alternative title: Lou Holtz is a retard

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 8, 2008

Joey Barrett Jr. as thrust himself into the finalist of Alabama fan of year. Here is the distasteful tale of a Bammer, Auburn fans and a retard named Louie Holtz. (Story)

I always knew Lou Holtz was retarded.

Joey Barrett is a tough Bammer SOB why he’s even a cage fighter that comes from a cage fighting family. In 2005 Barrett challenged two Auburn students by yelling “Roll Tide” in front of the Phi Kappa Tau fraternity house on the eve of the Iron Bowl.

Now that’s tough! Of course Barrett also had a knife (Cheater!! But he’s a Bammer what would you expect?) and stabbed one of the fraternity brothers who had to be rushed to the hospital with a collapsed lung.

The police levied a litany of assault charges against him causing his father, Daddy Barrett who is also known as King of Abba Shrine Center cage fighters, to whine that his offspring was being “railroaded”.

During the first trial in 2006 Barrett’s defense attorneys told the jury that man named Louie Holtz was the one that stabbed the Auburn student and not his angelic cage fighting client.

Here’s the kicker. Louie Holtz is mentally retarded so the judge ordered that he be represented by council. Holtz’s attorneys advised him not to testify. Since the jury had already heard Barrett’s sleazy lawyers state during the trial that Holtz was the stabber the judge had to declare a mistrial.

Now how would a retarded man get involved in such a thing? Well the prosecution decided to investigate and found out that Barrett bribed Holtz with a car (probably something sporty that a bammer would love like a 87 Berretta) to take the blame for his misgivings.

Once, Billy Bob Bammer paid a homeless man named Petey Carroll three bottles of rubbing alcohol to confess to the murder of a prostitute.

Oh Barrett knew how to cheat. He might even have a job with the university when he’s released from jail.

Feeling the heat Barrett copped a plea and was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years probation for first-degree assault, as well as one year, to run concurrently with the first penalty, for bribing a retard.

Daddy Barrett AKA King of Abba Shrine Center cage fighters could not be reached for comment after the trial which is typical. After all the whining he did. Rumor has it that he is training for his next match. I pity his opponent.

Meanwhile Barrett Jr. will be in the Mobile County Metro Jail serving his time and hopefully being raped by a large Auburn fan.

Alabama: Paying retards to take credit for the work done by others both on and off the field.

Stay classy Bammers!!!

Barrett's defense attorneys notice the nancy-boy in the skirt

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Crime & Punishment, Roll Tide, cheaters | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

It all smoke and mirrors because Georgia cheats!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 5, 2008

The Fulmer Cup is ours bitches! Keep your MFing paws off!

The Fulmer Cup is ours bitches! Keep your MF'ing paws off! RTR!

You dirty MF’ing Dawgs! I know that you know that I know that Little Bear Cub knows that you dirty Dawgs are nothing but cheaters! I should know I’m a Bama fan and Bama fans know cheating tactics (R.I.P. Logan Young) when they see it. Hell we invented it! rtr

Do you Dawg fans have a contract on my life? As Thomas the Terrible reported, when I heard about your practice sessions for next years Fulmer Cup I went on a Copenhagen & PBR bender. Now that I’m out of the hospital I see you’re actually trying to make a push to win that dang’um cup this year!

Georgia listen to me, you’ll never defeat Alabama (except on the football field.) To add insult to injury you’re holy of holiest coaches is trying to steal our cup by cheating!! You dirty Dawgs! rtr

Go ahead and suspend Darius Dingleberry Dewberry for overturning the beds of Bama fans trashcans and vandalizing a hospital. Truth is he wasn’t arrested so you get no Fulmer Cup points! Ha! RTR!

“Yeah, it’s embarrassing,” Richt said, “it’s sad. It’s certainly been a distraction. There is no way you can say it’s not a distraction because it has been.”

You should be embarrassed about how you are trying to win the Fulmer Cup by cheating.

I will give Richt credit for choosing the pattern of discipline that the Florida Gators School of Discipline proved useful:

  • Rule 1 – Always suspend your players during the first game (or two) of the year against patsies. No longer is suspension ever necessary.
  • Rule 2 – The Crowder rule. If a tough opponent appears during the first two games, enforce the discipline at a later game in the year against a weak sister team.
  • Rule 3 – The Thomas rule. Alternate suspension time around important games. Suspend the player. Bring him back. Suspend him again. Bring him back. Then dismiss him.

Go ahead and try to cheat in order to win. You’ve bitten off than you can chew Dawgs. Alabama perfected this method. The crimes of your players are frail and weak compared to Bammers crimes. You have pubic drunkenness we have cocaine dealer. (Remember to stop by the corner of Main & 4th that’s where I opened my Jimmy Johns franchise.) RTR

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to masturbate to old episodes of “Petticoat Junction.” RTR Bitches!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Fulmer Cup, Georgia Bulldogs, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, cheaters, mark richt | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Vol. V

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 4, 2008

This that time again, time too go to the roundtable First I want to thank LawVol at Gate 21 for making a seamless hand off. I also want to welcome the newest member of the roundtable: The View from the Hill.

This week is my turn to be king so I proclaim “Off with the heads of Bammers!” That being said let’s go to the questions.

1. One former VOL made the brave choice to testify against some Bammers and has to enter witness protection with a whole new identity, but that also gives him 4 more years of eligibility. Which VOL would you pick and why?

My choice is Albert Haynesworth. He would bigger and stronger than any of our opponents not mention he has a nasty mean streak in him. That mean streak would hold true to my decry of offing the heads of Bammers.  Except he would use his feet. His size and power would equal to at least 12 sacks alone.

2. Alabama has been given the death penalty and is forced to leave the SEC, at the same time South Carolina decides it can win a lot more in the Sunbelt conference and bolts the SEC. Two teams have to take their place who would you like to see take their place?

To replace South Carolina the obvious choice would be Clemson. I’ve been to many a Clemson game and there are “Bama-like” fanatics. The atmosphere is somewhat reminiscent of a SEC game. Plus an added advantage would be they have an excellent baseball program and an up & coming basketball program.  More competition breeds better teams for all.

To replace Alabama is a tougher tack though. In the past one could have said go with Southern Miss but that program is on the decline. There’s always UAB…but that wouldn’t work either.

My choice would be Texas. It could set a huge Third Saturday in October rivalry pitting burnt orange against Holy Orange. Plus it would make the rivalry it has with Arkansas back to a yearly affair.

Let’s not forget about the revenue both these teams would also bring to the SEC.

3. What will be the toughest road game to win and why?

I sent shock waves to some non-Roundtable Vols fans last week by predicting the beloved Tennessee Vols to lose to USC now let me explain why.

South Carolina’s most hated rival is Clemson but their most hated SEC rival is Tennessee with Georgia trailing in a very close third. South Carolina doesn’t hate the Vols because of some past traditional rivalry. They have no tradition. Their hated of us is due to self-hate and one thing. And that would be:

jeal·ousy (jeləs ē)

Noun

  1. the quality or condition of being jealous
  2. pl. -·ous·ies an instance of this; jealous feeling

Most Carolina fans hate USC but they love losers. They hate their football program for never stepping up and becoming a powerhouse no matter what conference they have been in. The fans in return transfer that hate to Tennessee. With Georgia they can say they have at least won a few by trading off victories and losses with the Bulldogs as time has passed however they can not do the same with Tennessee.

You might think I’m joking but I live in Columbia which is the heart of all Gamecock fans. I hear the snide comments before the games and the vicious comments after the game. These comments are not from people I know. Just yesterday I standing in the check-out line at Kroger and overheard one Gamecock fan say that if they beat Tennessee and Clemson this season but lose the rest it would be a great year. I wasn’t wearing anything that would identify me as being a Tennessee fan.

When a Gamecock fan “pleases” his or herself, they dream of defeating Tennessee at home only the finish with the money shot of them defeating Clemson. Lately that line of distinction between Tennessee & Clemson has drawn smaller in their eyes.

To make matters worse they hired the Evil Lying Steve God Spurrier who did lead the Gamecocks to a victory over Tennessee his first year. Granted that was also the same year the great Coach Fulmer has his first losing season ever. It was that victory that led these poor misguided fans to believe they have turned that mythical corner. Of course for the past 2 years Tennessee has prevailed.

Carolina started hot last year and then fizzled dramatically. If you ask the fans as to why they will most likely go back to the Tennessee loss. Their disdain for the Vols is almost as strong as Alabama’s hatred for Tennessee.

So this will be the toughest road game. Fulmer will have to deal with 80,000 or so Gamecock fans and looking across the field at the great Lying God Spurrier. This is the game that has turned Spurrier into a liar by allowing Garcia to come back even though he flatly stated he wouldn’t if he got into trouble one more time after keying that professor’s car. You can bet barring injury that Garcia will be starting against Tennessee not Smelly, not Beecher but the three time arrested in a fifteen month period Garcia.

If my beloved Vols win this game and I’m praying like crazy that they do, I will proudly go into work Monday dressed in orange and giving every Gamecock fan there a two finger salute, if you know what I mean.

4. Could have the great Coach Fulmer handled himself better at the SEC media event when he was asked about the subpoena instead of asking what subpoena?

Yes very much so. He could have something like”

“You see the BS I have to put up with? The rogue booster isn’t making my or the University of Tennessee football program  look bad, Instead they’re making Alabama look pitiful and they are making themselves look like some jilted lover.

It’s hard enough to be the dean of the SEC and I am 27 wins shy of sitting atop Tennessee’s all-time list, and there have been some pretty fair coaches along the way like General Neyland, Doug Dickey, Bill Battle and Johnny Majors.

I rank seventh all-time in wins among SEC coaches with 147; yet my salary ranks seventh among the current league coaches. Do you the media think I deserve this crap? Of course you don’t!

Never mind that my 1998 Tennessee team did not lose in 13 games and claimed the national championship. Never mind that the teams I’ve coached have won seven divisional titles and two SEC championships. Never mind that nine times my Tennessee teams have won at least 10 games in a season.

Instead you want to talk about some silly subpoena that I was served. We’re here to talk about football and by God that’s what I attend to do. Bitches!”

The Roundtable Membership

This concludes your kings’ questions for this week. Keep checking back here though because I’ll be linking to the other Big Orange Roundtablers for their responses to my questions as they themselves have answered them. As your king for this week I bid you a farewell. Remember: A good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team! GO VOS!

Posted in Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Fulmer, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »