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Archive for the ‘Crime & Punishment’ Category

Some rather sad & disturbing news to report

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 11, 2009

Further proof that only douche bags wear shirts with screen printed script on them.

I have some rather disturbing and sad news to report about the dad who hosted an underage party that was complete with cheerleaders and a stripper pole in the basement.

Last Saturday, Steven Russo, went from ignorant dad of the year to douche bag dad of year. As if his earlier actions didn’t concern people about his mental state his decided to implore a greater cry for help by closing his garage off and leaving the car running.

Even more disturbing is the fact he had his four-year old son with him at the time. This of course angers me to no degree. If this country has one true treasure that we need to protect it is its children. Fortunately he was discovered by the four-year olds’ grandfather so he’s okay.

I suppose being labeled as a sick freak was to much pressure for Russo to bare so he chose to attempt to end it all. Why in the world he would make his younger son bare the brunt of his mistake is incomprehensible to me. To confuse matters even worse than they are he sent a text message to the mother of the four-year old blaming her for his idiotic choices.

“Quoted in her statement to police, Jessica Clapso said Russo text-messaged her, saying, “This is on you and good-bye.”

Sending that text message meant he would be caught. He’s a coward who should get his wish- his 4-year-old needs to be safe with the mom, and then he (the father) needs to be lined up against a wall and shot.

I really hope one of the other dads beats the fuck out of this guy. You want to kill yourself, fucking fine. But do not take your kid down with you.

Posted in Cheerleaders, Crime & Punishment, Douche Bag, Stripper Pole, dumbass, stupid, suicide attempt | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Maurice Clarett seeks redemption and a better WiFi connection while in prison

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 5, 2009

mc

When I started this blog, I started it using WordPress. I’ve watched this blog turn from nothing to being linked to by CNN, all under two years time. Yeah I thought I was cool…

That was then and this is now. It seems any moron can be a blogger now. Why take former running back who is serving time for robbery and other charges, Maurice Clarett, for example.

Even though he was involved with the Israeli mob and was arrested carrying a hatchet, was sentenced to 7 1/2 years in prison in August of 2006 on a variety of charges, including robbery and resisting arrest, he is still a prison blogger.

According to his blog archives, he’s been blogging since 10/08. Let’s have a look at his stuff:

“I had a chance to get outside and run sprints on the track today. It felt so good to feel the fresh air. The facility does not have windows in the cell that I can open, so I don’t get a chance to feel nature that often during the winter months. Today was an exception though. I had a blast just running on the yard. I felt like a little kid inside. It felt like the energy of the earth would have allowed me to run all day long. We only have recreation for two hours and I enjoyed it all. I appreciated the time I did get.

I now wonder to myself, “is this what life is all about?” Am I supposed to find true happiness in the things I can’t buy? Am I supposed to enjoy more of life’s simple pleasures like this? After all, it was just me and Earth. At that moment, the prison walls did not exist. Now that I say that, I want to remind everyone that they shouldn’t feel sorry for me because I am not suffering. I may be in a situation that isn’t ideal, but I am free in my mind and at heart. My mandatory time is almost up and hopefully, the judge will see it fit to give me an early release based on my growth.”

Apparently the Toledo Correctional Institution allows inmates access to laptops and WiFi. Maybe it wasn’t until incarceration that Maurice discovered the All new AOL 3.0 Platinum Edition…he’s still on his 50 Free Hours.

Since this story was written (which I forgot to post) the Columbus Dispatch has ran a story and guess what is revealed?

“Inmates don’t have computer access; his mother, Michelle Clarett, confirmed yesterday that he calls his blog entries to family members who post them for him. The entries – a mixture of philosophy, advice, famous quotations and humor – started last October.”

Wait; there are no computers in Prison? How the hell is a man supposed to get his sexual gratification– oh. Oh, I see.

The writer for the Dispatch also shares some e-mails about this very subject in the same article.

“That was a niece piece you wrote on Maurice in the Dispatch today. It was fair and balanced. Most importantly, it was right on point. Indeed, “The Mind of Maurice Clarett” is a sincere expression of his inner most thoughts, beliefs and life’s experiences. Dominic Mango and I were Maurice’s attorneys on his criminal case and I have stayed in close contact with him ever since. I am pleased to report that Maurice is doing extremely well. He has been a model inmate throughout. Now that his course materials have finally arrived from OU, he is thrilled to be back working towards his college degree from The Ohio State University.”

I do believe that shiv crafting is an elective at Ohio State however real bloggers type bitch!

And to think for a free laptop with WiFi I was tempted to break some laws in Ohio.

However Maurice successfully calls his mother a liar in a blog posting.

“Ghost writer, huh? Thanks for the “backhanded compliment.” It is ALL Maurice Clarett, one letter at a time, one word at a time, one sentence at a time. One conscious thought and one inspirational quote at a time. I study from the best. I only inquire about the greats that overcame great obstacles. Reading from world leaders, dictators, plutocrats, and even tyrants helps me keep my situation in perspective.”

And of course this is also addressed in a different manner in yet another posting.

“I just recently had a member of prison administration question me about the authenticity of my blog. They also came to verify that I am in school. In the midst of all that, I also detected that the person was phishing to see if I was going to talk about the prison in any way. My answer to that is, “No.” I have no interest in discussing prison’s day to day operations. That serves no purpose in my life. I created this site for other reasons. There are too many young men and women that need hope and inspiration.”

If Avon Barksdale and WeeBay from HBO’s The Wire can have mobile phones to run their business and have chicken delivered to their cells, then surely Maurice Clarett can write a simple blog.

Finally let’s look at this little paragraph:

“To a large degree, prison doesn’t exist to me anymore. I’m mentally removed, on certain levels. My mental sentence expired when I decided to educate myself. I spend all of the hours of my days developing my life’s vision. I don’t have the time to think about prison. I’m just waiting for my physical sentence to expire.”

This is the first sign of schizophrenia.

Posted in Blogger, Crime & Punishment, Maurice Clarett, Prison, ohio state buckeyes, tOSU | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Cheerleaders + Stripper Pole = FUN (Unless they’re still in high school)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 4, 2009

russo

Meet Steven Russo, 36, he is the new “coolest” dad ever. Back in December of 2007 his 17 year-old son attends Freedom High (Bethlehem, Pa.) decided to throw a party and since his dad is so damn cool he agreed to the party but only if cheerleaders come and if these cheerleader party in the basement where like a Rock of Love Fantasy Camp, the alcohol and the stripper pole is being housed. I bet there was a Scarface poster on the wall in that basement.

“The teens allegedly listened to Russo spin tales about his sexual exploits and drank vodka, rum and beer he gave them. They also mingled in the basement while he played music and shouted, “Get on that pole,” according to a criminal complaint filed by Bethlehem Township police at the office of District Judge Joseph Barner.”

How could they hear what Russo was talking about when they had “Pour Some Sugar On Me” blaring in the background? I’m just asking!

Steve Russo keeps getting older, but the cheerleaders stay the same age. Yes I’m telling you this 36-year-old man with a 17-year-old son might have problems with decision-making and maturity. Please don’t remain skeptical.

Of course with a rocking party like this there were photos being taken. Unfortunately for Russo they wound up on Facebook. There was a photo showing two of the cheerleaders kissing Russo on the cheek that began circulating around the school. The cheerleaders being the jealous bitches that cheerleaders can be started arguing about the photo and in what can be construed as a “bitchy act” one the girls showed the photo to a school administrator. Let the real fun begin!

“The girls said Russo did not try anything with them, but encouraged one 16-year-old as she removed her shirt during the Dec. 12 party. One teen mentioned Russo’s house has a room called “the cave” on the second floor where people have sex. One boy claimed he was there that night because another teen planned to have sex and he was “hooking up,” with one of the other girls. The boy said they left after his friend was finished.

A 14-year-old girl said she drank Red Bull and vodka at the party and Russo’s son became sick from excessive consumption. She later sneaked out of the house with a friend because “the rule is that if you drink alcohol there you have to sleep over because (Russo) doesn’t want to get in trouble  …”

Yes the rule is you get wasted and you have to stay the night and ordering underage girls to get on a stripper pole is a convenience? Yes, yes, I know it is, but still…

There is another story about this situation that was written by someone called Precious Petty. No joke here, but that sounds like a really annoying name.

R-Kelly is wondering what the hell happened to his invitation.

I know ignorance of the law is no excuse but come on, how is a guy supposed to know trying to get a cheerleader to take her shirt off and do a pole dance is illegal? Those Quakers run a tough state. *Sarcasm*

I’m betting one day the son will write the following words:

Dear Penthouse,

You will never believe what happened when 20 horny teens came over to my dad’s house…….

Quakers? more like Quake-whores.

Posted in Cheerleaders, Crime & Punishment, Stripper Pole, dumbass, stupid | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

This Gator football player is probably the dumbest of the bunch to date

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 18, 2009

Coming out of high school Carl Johnson was a five star rated recruit who was the No. 6 offensive line prospect in the class of 2005 by Rivals.com, and played a key role in the Gators’ 2008 national championship.. His football career at the University of Florida is the rise. As a sophomore this past season he appeared in all 14 games and started in eight of those games at the left guard position. Now like a lot of past Gators before him Johnson gets to see the inside of a jail cell and this is under rather alarming circumstances.

Somehow the Gator mafia suppressed the fact that Johnson was served a temporary injunction on Feb. 9 for protection against sexual violence from the mainstream media. However since some Gators are plainly stupid, the Gator mafia can not keep the fact that around one week later Johnson has already violated that order got to know a Gainesville jail cell intimately.

On Monday, February 16, Johnson in all his glorious Gator gangsta self knowingly decided to sit across the UF campus bus aisle against the woman (at least I hope it’s a woman) who filed for the protection order. And then to make matters worse he had four chances to exit the bus but didn’t until the woman exited the bus.

Yes Urban you certainly are recruiting and signing the top 1% of 1% in the country. The top 1% of criminals and top 1% of dumb asses or in Johnson’s case both. Next thing you know, Gator players will be shooting AK 47′s and using a dead woman’s credit card. Oh wait that’s already happened. 

Of course while all this was going on, Meyer has been “out of the country”, I’m betting he is in Thailand with Teabag Timmy.

Posted in 1%, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Tebow, Thailand, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Kimber Kennedy must prove her loss of consortium

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 12, 2009

con·sor·tium (kən sôrtē əm; -sôrs̸hē əm, -s̸həm)

noun pl. -·tia—ə

  1. a partnership or association; specif.,
    1. a temporary alliance of two or more business firms in a common venture
    2. an international banking agreement or association
  2. Law the companionship and support provided by marriage, including the right of each spouse to receive this from the other

Now that you know what the definition of consortium is let’s hope Kimber Kennedy knows as well and has the ability to prove it. But first a recap.

On December 18th of last year Ole Miss head Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for alledgidy assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. A video of the inicedent has been released in which Kennedy attempts to bring the United Nations into the matter by telling the police officier that this could be an “international inident.” The exchange during the arrest prompted the greatest line ever spoken by a Cinncinati police officer ever.

“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? … We deal with the Bengals all the time.”

Shortly thereafter Kimber Kennedy, Andy’s spouse, filed a lawsuit against the taxi driver and his witness claiming the this whole mess has been so stressful that Andy can not perform his husbandly duties. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.

Now according the attorneys of the taxi driver, Kimber must prove the “loss of consortium” claim.

“Kennedy amended his civil suit against them when his wife said she deserved damages from the cabbie and valet because the incident had caused the couple a “loss of consortium” and damaged their marriage. But if Kennedy and his wife contend his December assault arrest ruined their personal life, they’re going to have to prove it with medical documents, say attorneys for the cab driver.”

No I’m not a doctor but I play one on this blog so at the risk of offending some readers out there, I’ll volunteer to help Kimber get her groove back. I can hop in my car and be there in a matter of hours. Hold on, Kimber. Eventually, I’ll be coming.

I truly wish I could there for this trial, I can see the entered evidene now:

  • Exhibit A: A receipt for 50 AA batteries and a ‘muscle massager.’
  • Exhibit B: Kimber rips open her blouse and shouts “Your honor, THESE have not been sucked since the incident!”
  • Exhibit C: A video of the couple NOT having sex

Unfortunately I can’t help but believe that there will be a legal document in the future containing the words “forceps”, “knock”, and “dust off”. I’m betting Kimber is hoping for a stiff penalty to be handed out for this crime.

I bet this suit is doing wonders for recruiting.

Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cincinnati, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Kimber Kennedy, Lawsuit, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

I only punched a tow truck don’t taser me bro!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 4, 2009

I always wondered what happened to Kubiac after 'Parker Lewis Can't Lose' went off the air

Just when I thought the stupidest 20-something year old athlete in America was Michael Phelps, along comes a Buckeye with a black eye.

Meet Alex Boone, former offensive lineman for Ohio State. Alex was considered a potential top pick for the NFL draft however resisting arrest, threatening officers, jumping onto the tops of several cars and banging on garage doors and let’s not leave out punching a tow truck, will most likely cause Alex to slip a few spots in the upcoming draft. And yes he was tasered…twice. Not for nothing, that truck had it coming.

Alex was supposed to be in California to focus on training for the NFL draft however he decided to get a wee-bit tipsy and cause a ruckus. Of course when the police arrived Alex was to busy attempting to punch out the windows to a tow truck & banging on garage doors to notice them. When he did finally notice them he decided to flee and hide on someone’s porch.

When the police attempted to complete to booking process Alex was uncooperative and threatening toward deputies that they have not yet been able to complete it so that’s when he was tasered….twice.

“Alex Boone was taken to Saddleback Hospital by sheriff’s deputies for injuries resulting from being shot with a stun gun and being heavily intoxicated, said sheriff’s spokesman Jim Amormino. He was arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest, threatening officers, jumping onto the tops of several cars and banging on garage doors around 11:30 p.m. Sunday at the Barcelona apartments at 23500 Windsong.

When deputies arrived, Amormino said, Boone was trying to punch out the driver’s side window of a tow truck; he then jumped onto the back of the truck. Boone then tried to flee police, Amormino said.”

And now it is time for the Jim Tressel quote from the Columbus Dispatch:

“Alex headed to California to focus solely on his training. It is so disappointing to hear that he had this mishap. His intentions were to prepare for his NFL dream.”

Umm…Jimbo getting so drunk that you punch a tow truck, flee from the police, threaten the police & get tasered not once but twice isn’t a “mishap”. It’s another stupid idiot that should have known better. However public intoxication, stupid stunts and an arrest does make it sound like he has been doing his best to get ready for the NFL. So throwing millions upon millions of dollars at him will probably solve all of this.

Al Davis likes his hustle, and claims to have beaten up a Model T or two back in the day, but he wants to know if the tow truck had a “man-step”.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Jim Tressel, NFL Draft, big ten football, drunk, dumbass, ohio state buckeyes, tOSU | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Pacman Jones is getting sued? You don’t say

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 22, 2009

Well, here’s a shocker. Pacman Jones is being sued, except this time he is being sued by some stripper; no instead he’s being sued by his own attorney.

“Manny Arora claims Jones stiffed him for fees “in excess of $10,000″ on 18 different cases in which Arora represented either Jones’ family members or friends.

None of the cases mentioned in the lawsuit filed in Fulton State Court involve Jones directly.

The suit lists Deborah Jones, James Jones, Lewis Kueffor and Fleming Daniels as the defendants Arora assisted. The charges against them vary from speeding to kidnapping, simple battery and, in the case of Daniels, murder.”

The bottom line is this:

You are the company that you keep.

That’s why Pacman had so much trouble during his career; he might not have been raised to know any better and was unable to leave that life behind. When someone with that kind of background gets money this is what sometimes happens.

Some people don’t know when they have it good. Given the opportunity to do something that you do well and enjoy, and to have the opportunity to accumulate wealth that would make living that much easier, how can you mess that up? How can you not see what you have going for you? You can’t blame your present situation on your past upbringing because these are choices and if you did not come from “easy street”, then you should appreciate your success that much more. To say the least, his career may be over. After what ESPN Outside The Lines showed  clearly that Adam Jones does not get it.

Word of advice to this attorney…if Pacman wants to meet you at a strip club to talk things over, don’t go.

Posted in Adam Jones, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, NFL Football, Pacman Jones, court tv, legal troubles | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

I blame the ass whooping Utah was putting on Bama when this happened

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 13, 2009

Is that Teddy Bear kidding with the "Rold Tied" on its shirt?

Apparently Billy Bob Bammer is MIA ever since the Tide embarrassed the entire SEC with their lose to Utah, since I’m partly blaming Utah for Billy Bob’s disappearance I suppose I could blame them for the latest Bama fan brawl.

“Hartford Police Chief Ben Berry said 52-year-old Timothy Fowler had held an Alabama football party on Friday and a fight broke out during a card game. Berry said Fowler apparently swung a flashlight at another man, who then punched Fowler’s face in the front yard. Berry said alcohol may have been a factor.”

Classic Alabamian… bringing a flashlight to a fistfight.

I love how they say that alcohol “may” have been a factor…I guess you could say stupidity could have been a factor as well.

My grandma always used to say “The more Bama fans murdering each other the better. Also fuck Florida.” She was a little on violent/senile side.

Alabama, making Ohio look good since 1819!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, SEC Football, Utah Utes | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Why wasn’t my English teacher like this one?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 12, 2009

Nice "Catch Me, Fuck Me" glasses, teach.

Well here is another example of how male students are certainly luckier than me when I was their age. Remember my first example? If not here’s a reminder.

Meet Brittany Sumrall Johnson, a 26-year-old high school English teacher/basketball coach from Kilbourne, La. She is presently being investigated for sending some “lurid” e-mails to one of her 14-year-old students by the way of MySpace.

Here is a sampling that made some boy walk on air until he had to take out the trash.

“And oh my gosh did u look hot! I can’t wait 4 u 2 play varsity (so) we can hook up on the bus on the way home lol!,”; “oh yea and in the closet, I so wanted to grab you and pull u in there and shut that door and take full advantage of you…”; and “has anyone ever told u that u have a fine a- and body?”

That’s some shitty syntax for an English teacher.

teachI’ve attempted to locate her MySpace page but failed. More likely than not it has been deleted, but gathering from this sample she’s a wild one oh and she’s married.

This might be a new underhanded way of recruiting. So far all she has received is a written reprimand, and her school computer has been confiscated.

To teachers, in general: do not touch. They are your students and it is a school.

To attractive female teachers dumb enough to perpetuate whatever “Hot for Teacher” fantasies the ’80s started by inexplicably becoming attracted to not-quite-of-legal-driving-age boys: take pictures and send them to me.

Posted in Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Ko Simpson upholds the Gamecock Tradition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 5, 2009

Traditionally the football players for the South Carolina Gamecocks get arrested. Now that Ko Simpson has moved on into the NFL he is still upholding Gamecock tradition by getting arrested and proclaiming he’s worth millions.

Basically Simpson was at a bar where his buddy got collared by the Po Po and he didn’t like it.

“The report says at that point a passenger in the car, 25-year-old Dyann Linen, got out of the car and began yelling at the police, and punched an officer in the back of the head. Linen was arrested for disorderly conduct as well.

Officers say as Linen attempted to kick out the window of the patrol car in which she was being held, 25-year-old Simpson, who was also a passenger in the car, began yelling at officers, saying, “I’m Ko Simpson with the Buffalo Bills, I’m worth millions!” before walking away.”

The last thing I would ever admit to is playing for the Bills.

“However, the report says Simpson soon returned and attempted to get to Hart, who was in police custody. Simpson began screaming at officers again, and was arrested for hindering police activity.”

By the way, Simpson has one-year left on his four-year $2.13 million dollar contract. So millions is a bit of stretch after you figure in cost of living, agent fees and of course bail.

Might as well get it over with: A Simpson who played for the Bills in trouble with the law? No way…

Previous athletes have proved that money will never run out ever. *Sarcasm*

Posted in Buffalo Bills, Crime & Punishment, Ko Simpson, South Carolina Gamecocks | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »