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The 2009 Big Orange Roundtable. Vol III

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2009

It’s that time again…time for the Big Orange Roundtable and this week I get to be king! Now I know some of you readers have been e-mailing me and wanting me to behead the idiot coach who didn’t pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super Duper QB of the year that also walks on water and has a platinum halo, all because he can’t read and let someone else fill out his preseason ballot out, but there will be no bloodshed during this roundtable session. Let go straight to the questions! 

1. Now that we have covered the receivers & QB’s, let’s get to the running game. Just how much improved do you think the running game will be? 

Well considering Foster fumbled A LOT plus the fact he was slow you had to clock him using a sundial, I would say it be greatly improved. 

First off we have Montario Hardesty who was getting rave reviews throughout the spring practices, and then we have Tauren Poole from what I understand he might be the next starting running back this season when all is said and done. 

We did recruit some guy by the name Bryce Brown who happened to be the number No.1 overall prospect in the 2009 class by Rivals.com … Rated No. 1 at running back by Scout.com and No. 2 by ESPN. Oh yeah we also have David Oku the No. 1 overall all-purpose back and the No. 97 overall recruit in the 2009 class by Rivals.com. 

With an energized line and a simpler offense of play action pass and ramming down the other team’s throats, I believe the running game will have a huge impact on this upcoming season and rank somewhere in the top 20.    

Auburn-Playbook-R

We believe this was drawn up during last years game with Auburn...damn Clawson my head hurts trying to figure this out.

2. During the SEC media days, Kiffin made the comment “Do I love every single thing I’ve done my (first) seven months? No, I haven’t loved having to do it. But it needed to be done, in my opinion, for us to get where we needed to be.” What do you think he was talking about? 

I sincerely believe he was referring to the decisions he had to make about players and recruits. I believe he was referring too having to withdraw scholarships to those that were offered by the previous coaching staff and he was referring to letting some of the current roster go.  

3. Do you think giving Mike Hamilton a big raise and extension is a mistake before seeing how Kiffin performs as a head coach?

Yes! Let’s play what-if. What if Kiffin and this staff flops and everyone is canned, think about the money that will need to be paid out. If Kiffin does let go then surely Hamilton will need to be let go as well. You can’t the wave of the Bruce Pearl hiring forever. With this new raise then there’s even more money that will need to be paid out. It was a huge mistake on the university’s part in my opinion.  

4. What is the one game Tennessee needs to win this season? 

cry_cocky

I said it last year and I’ll say it again. Beat the Shamecocks of South Carolina. There is no excuse for not winning this game. Both teams have new assistant coaches and as of right now both teams have questions about their quarterbacks. 

South Carolina lost a lot on both sides of the ball especially the defensive side. If Kiffin and this staff want respect within this league then beating the ole ball (sac) coach is the way to go about it. 

Please remember to visit the sites of my fellow Big Orange Roundtable brethren and see their replies:

MoonDogSports.com 

3rd Saturday in Blogtober

Vol Junkies 

Pigskin Pathos 

Rocky Top Talk 

Bleeding Orange 

Gate 21

Losers With Socks

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Lane Kiffin, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, Tim Tebow | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The 2009 Big Orange Roundtable. Vol II

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 22, 2009

This weeks host is the Third Saturday in Blogtober. As always the same rules apply. They ask some question and I and other blogs will answer them. So let’s go to the Roundtable!

1. We will start with an easy one.  Last week, our beloved Rock was relocated across the street to make room for a new building on campus.  What are your thoughts on the Rock’s relocation?

While I was sad the see the Rock was being moved I understand the reasons why. Tennessee needs the new student health center and it’s beneficial to everyone.

2(a).  Wednesday is the beginning of SEC Media Days in Birmingham, which usually signifies that the season is just around the corner.  What would you prefer that Coach Lane Kiffin do this week: Speak up or shut up?

STFU! Don’t say anything stupid be kind with your answers and say “No comment” a lot.

2(b).  If you could take back one thing that Coach Kiffin has done or said to this point, what would it be?

Wow that’s a hard on. Don’t get me wrong, I like Kiffin (and his hot wife) but damn. Anywho calling Urban Meyer was stupid. I realize that he said to fire up fan base but it was stupid nonetheless.

kiffin dumb

3.  The biggest news of last week on the football front was that seemingly our entire receiving corps is in the infirmary. Austin Rogers is lost for the year, Denarius Moore is going to miss several games at a minimum, and Gerald Jones has an injured wing that may cause him to miss some games.  Although it seems like it is time to hit the panic button, is there a way out of this for the Vols?

I’m not worried about it because even though I like Rogers he dropped more his share of passes. I know that’s a crappy thing it type but it’s true. I wish him the best and I do hope the NCAA grants him another year of eligibility. We have Nu’Keese Richardson, Quintin Hancock & Brandon Warren. All of whom I believe will be ready to play.

I also think we will get Gerald Jones by the second or third game of the season. Of course if Crompton is as bad as he was last year, will it really matter?

4. Basketball recruit Josh Selby decommitted from the Vols over the weekend, and many suspect it is because he wants to play for a Nike school.  Tennessee is an Adidas school, and there is speculation that future sponsorship money with Nike may be at stake if Selby doesn’t go to a Nike school like Kentucky.  This obviously has ramifications in all sports, so what do you make of all this? (NOTE: The NFL is a Reebok league, which is owned by Adidas.)

It’s funny that Selby is doing this because he was at the camp where LeBron was dunked on by a college player from Xavier University, who by the way is an Adidas school. Here is a link to a high def version of the video!!! Not the crappy cell phone version TMZ here.

LeBron gets dunked on.

Let’s look at one thing though. This kid committed when he was 16-years old. I’m not that surprised that he changed his mind…he’s 16 for goodness sakes. What is most disturbing is the fact he MIGHT feel pressured or “persuaded” by someone like “World Wide” William Wesley who as a rather public relationship with John Calipari. I think the bigger question should be: When will the NCAA ever investigate this guy?

Please remember to visit the sites of my fellow Big Orange Roundtable brethren and see their replys:

MoonDogSports.com

Vol Junkies

Pigskin Pathos

Rocky Top Talk

Bleeding Orange

Gate 21

Loser With Socks

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, LeBron James, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, Urban Meyer | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

An open letter to Ariel Alejo

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 19, 2009

Dear Ariel Alejo

While I’ll openly admit that King Kiffin’s® comments that were made about the very school which you are the principal of, Pahokee High School, was stupid and wrong. Please understand that Kiffin is a dumbass at times but he’s our dumbass so we have to love him. (Unless he doesn’t win)

Now the comments were made on February 4th & King Kiffin® has long since apologized for them. Somehow you didn’t get the memo and ordered assistant coach Gran of the school property on May 4th during a recent recruiting visit. And then you removed that Gator logo from your gay website how convenient…

Well King Kiffin® used his political pull and Coach Gran will be at the practice today along with the assistant mayor of Pahokee. You see the assistant mayor is a man about things and realizes that King Kiffin® made an apology not once but twice and that is good enough for him. He also sees where this hurting the kids in your school.

“I don’t think the words were from the heart,” Crawford said of Kiffin’s comments from the recruiting celebration. “I think he was caught up in the minute and just said something. I don’t think it came from his heart. I really don’t. I’ve done things like that myself. After saying them, you find out what you said and how it affects the community or a person you either said them to or about.”

I realize this is probably embarrassing for you but remember King Kiffin® owns your school and you’re just his little bitch, so please get use to it. Learn from it and learn to love it. Fear the Kiffin.

So in closing think about these words and suck it.

Sincerely,

YMSWWC.com

Posted in Florida Sucks, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Pahokee High School, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bruce Pearl attempts to sway Layla Kiffin?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 29, 2009

We all know Bruce Pearl has a smoking hot girlfriend. But does he have his eyes set on smoking hot mother of three Layla Kiffin

Clay Travis reports that the energetic basketball coach was asked at a Tennessee alumni reception about how he was getting along with King Kiffin©, who was also in attendance, and Pearl had this to say: 

“I’m trying to date his wife. But that’s not working out too good.” 

God bless Pearl and his creepy advances. I like Bruce Pearl’s chances with Layla Kiffin better than Lane Kiffin’s chances against Florida this year.

Ordinarily an off the cuff remark such as this one should be taken as good nature ribbing. But remember King Kiffin© was annoyed when Layla was Google searched by professional internet masturbators. Will Pearl feel King Kiffin’s wrath via kick in his horny balls? Could we blame Kiffin if he did that? But they appear to be getting along just fine and received a standing ovation at the event. 

Another fun factoid: As a Florida Gator undergrad, Layla was a member of the notorious Zeta Tau Alpha sorority, which counts America’s Sideline Princess Erin Andrews as one of its members.

Honestly, if she had a Tom Selleck mustache, I’d still hit it.

Posted in Bruce Pearl, Erin Andrews, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Grading the Tennessee Vols spring game

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 20, 2009

crompton09

Due to the overwhelming interest in Coach “Visor-Boy 2.0″ Kiffin’s first year as the Tennessee football, I’ve decided to issue a report card for the annual spring game. Whether the grades pan out during regular season play will remain to be seen. 

Quarterbacks: C 

In an alternate universe Crompton won the Heisman last year. However we live and breathe in this universe. Crompton has lost some weight and appears more mobile but he is still bobbling snaps and throwing interceptions. For someone that is coming wrist surgery junior Nick “Ginger Haired Warrior” looked average but that could be a good sign and Nick “Huge Hands” Stephens looked uptight and anxious. No QB could get into a rhythm but that isn’t their fault after all this is the spring game we’re talking about. 

Running Backs: A 

Creer who? Hardesty looked sharp amd Poole proved he will be a factor in the new offensive system. Toney Williams emerged as a surprisingly fast power back. Let’s not forget there are two special running backs coming in the summer as well. 

Receivers: B- 

Gerald Jones is back and looked good even with a sore hand. Hancock proved to be a great practice player however that needs to show up in the fall. Denarius Moore and Brandon Warren closed strong. Of course Stocker dropped a sure touchdown it wouldn’t be a game with a dropped pass by Stocker. 

Offensive Line: C- 

While the Vols ran the ball well, pass protection was still an issue. Jarrod Shaw and Cody Pope (who id from my old stomping grounds of Greenville, SC) are fighting for a starting spot but neither could set themselves apart from one another. Cody Sullins is the big surprise. Let’s hope it translates to game play. 

Defensive Line: A 

Chris Walker is a beast and Monton Hughes is a special player. Expect great things from this group in the season. 

Linebackers: C- 

Rico McCoy shall shine even brighter this year. 

Defensive Backs: C 

It’s hard to tell how this group will truly do. Brent Vinson didn’t play because of a recent shoulder surgery and Berry is recovering from a shoulder surgery. However Raines and Dennis Rogan are improving in great strides. This group would have earned a high grade if Berry and Vinson were healthy. 

Special Teams: C- 

They ain’t looking so special. Daniel Lincoln Logs is struggling with consistency however punter Cunningham is looking better. 

Coaches Spouse: A+ 

ven though I didn’t see her I’m sure Layla Kiffin is the only woman I know who has mysterious background music (Pretty Woman Van Halen’s version) playing everywhere she goes.

Posted in GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, coach o | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Breaking down the 2009 Tennessee recruiting class

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 6, 2009

helmet

Well signing day has come and gone and of course most Tennessee fans are happy with this years results given that King Kiffin®  had a limited time getting them. Plus this class is ranked considerably ranked higher than last years.

With this class being ranked so much higher I found it more difficult to make fun of analyze them properly,  but I’ll give a try.

Since last year’s breakdown was such a success I’m here to breakdown this year’s recruiting class. Hopefully I’ll find another gem like Carson Anderson who is currently writing the “The Tao of Fat & Stupid Phil Fulmer” as I type.

askew1

Jerod Askew ****

Position:  Middle Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Virginia Tech
  • West Virginia
  • Alabama
  • Clemson
  • Maryland
  • Michigan
  • NC State
  • Oklahoma
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Speed
  • Toughness
  • Hitting ability
  • 4.7 GPA
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • 4.7 GPA. He studies too much when he should be learning the playbook and breaking laws
  • Size

Prediction:

This is one that Saban wanted and the Bama nation (of trailers) is not happy to lose this one. He will apply that lofty GPA to graduate early, cure cancer, develop time traveling wormholes & prank call Saban every chance he gets. This will all be completed as he sits on the bench because he proved he was indeed smarter than the entire coaching put together.

edwards

Mike Edwards ****

Position: Cornerback

Other schools that offered:

  • Cincinnati
  • Illinois
  • Indiana
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota

Strengths:

  • Great cover skills
  • Not afraid of contact

Weaknesses:

  • Wears funny looking hats

Prediction:

Will most likely lose an ear due to forgetting to take out the earring while he is being beaten down for wearing that funny hat.

gordon

Eric Gordon ****

Position: Cornerback

Other schools that offered:

  • Texas Tech
  • Alabama
  • Oklahoma
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Speed
  • Natural athletic ability
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Dazed look on his face

Prediction:

There’s a reason as to why he face looks so dazed… Here’s a hint…he is clueless as to who Phelps is because if he knew…. Let’s leave it at that.

green1

James Green ****

Position: Wide Receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Auburn
  • Ole Miss
  • NC State
  • Ohio State
  • South Carolina
  • Syracuse

Strengths:

  • Great hands
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Speed
  • Looks like he can’t grow a full mustache

Prediction:

He will most likely injure his upper lip attempting to shave the mystery mustache over and over again. It’s a mystery because no one else can see it! ZING!

jackson

Janzen Jackson *****

Position: Cornerback

Other schools that offered:

  • Texas A&M
  • Alabama
  • LSU

Strengths:

  • Body Control
  • Burst out of breaks
  • Tackling ability
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Did not want to be referred to as a “Coon-ass” or smell like corndogs

Weaknesses:

  • Backpedal quickness
  • Coverage awareness
  • First name is to similar to cheesy designer Jantzen who makes the worse freaking backpacks ever!!!
  • Boy-band good looks
  • Rumored to have a huge crush on Latoya Jackson

Prediction:

Will most like start his own boy-band called the “U of Tees” and record a mega-hit titled I wish I was the one who knocked up Candice Parker. Eventually the money from that one hit will run out and become the next Ryan Seacrest.

jeffery

Arthur Jeffrey ****

Position: Defensive tackle

Other schools that offered:

  • Clemson
  • Florida
  • F$U
  • Georgia
  • South Florida

Strengths:

  • Athleticism
  • Body control and balance
  • Size
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer
  • Looks mean

Weaknesses:

  • Strength
  • Technique

Prediction:

Will become the bodyguard for the “U of Tees”.

king

Greg King ***

Position: Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Arkansas
  • Auburn
  • Miami (FL)
  • Oklahoma State
  • Texas Tech

Strengths:

  • Looks mean
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Hitting ability
  • Size
  • Speed

Weaknesses:

  • Discipline
  • Tackling Technique

Prediction:

15-30 give or take time off for good behavior

thornton

Nigel Mitchell-Thornton ***

Position: Inside Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Wake Forest
  • Duke
  • Georgia Tech
  • Maryland
  • Miss. State
  • Nebraska
  • NC State
  • Oklahoma State
  • Stanford

Strengths:

  • Aggressiveness
  • Athleticism
  • Size
  • 3.4 GPA
  • 1320 SAT

Weaknesses:

  • Foot quickness
  • Pass coverage Skills
  • 1320 SAT. It’s obvious all his life has been football and books so it’s likely he’s still a virgin.
  • Smugness

Prediction

Great another smart one. Nigel will most likely realize that Wake Forest is the place for three star players. There he will realize that he studied so hard instead of dating because he’s gay. This will cause him to promptly flunk out of Wake Forest and settle with some special boy. All the while that smug look will not leave his face.

myles

Darren Myles ****

Position: Wide Receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Florida
  • Georgia Tech
  • Kentucky
  • LSU
  • Michigan
  • Notre Dame

Strengths:

  • Closing speed
  • Coverage Awareness
  • Size
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer
  • Did not want to be referred to as a “Coon-ass” or smell like corndogs
  • Found a way to beat the Jedi mindtricks of Charlie Weis

Weaknesses:

  • Recover Ability
  • Gives the thumbs up
  • Smiles

Prediction:

It quickly becomes aware to Darren and those around him, that he just to darn happy to be a SEC football player. Ladies and gentlemen meet the manger of the “U of Tees”. Pssttt Darren give everyone the thumbs up sign.

nelson

Robert Nelson ***

Position: Inside linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Auburn
  • West Virginia
  • Miss State
  • NC State
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Attacks the line of scrimmage with reckless abandonment
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Coverage Skills

Prediction:

You might be asking yourself “Does he look high in that photo?” and the answer is YES! Robert will major in agriculture and develop a potent new pot plant and become famously rich from one customer alone, Michael Phelps.

oliver

Nyshier Oliver ****

Position: Athlete

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Boston College
  • Georgia
  • Michigan
  • Notre Dame
  • Penn State
  • Strengths:
  • Toughness
  • Found a way to beat the Jedi mindtricks of Charlie Weis
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Looks mean and is mean

Weaknesses:

  • I’m very frightened of this person so please don’t ask me.

Prediction:

Coming from the mean streets of New Jersey there are two things Oliver knows: football and pimpology. Oliver will be the meanest pimp in orange the world has ever seen. Does Nyshier have to choke a Bama fan?

Glamour Shots!

Glamour Shots!

Kevin Revis ***

Position: Offensive Guard

Other schools that offered:

  • Vandy
  • Wake Forest
  • Auburn
  • Duke
  • Georgia Tech
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • ACT score of 28
  • Body Control and balance
  • Feet
  • Quickness of the ball
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Pass protection
  • Looks incredibility gay in photos
  • Wannbe boy-band good looks

Prediction:

Kevin will fall into a deep depression after being rejected for the fifth member position of the “U of Tees” and will start drinking heavily. He will later be known as the “American Idol Mauler” for beating up and molesting Janzen Jackson during a taping in the last season of the show.

Please quit calling me Meyer!

Please quit calling me Meyer!

Nu’keese Richardson ****

Position: Wide Receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Florida
  • Georgia
  • Miami (FL)
  • Michigan
  • South Carolina
  • So Cal.

Strengths:

  • Speed, speed and more speed
  • Explosiveness
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Once he publicly wore a Florida hat.

Prediction:

I hope he has blocking skills because…oh wait sorry I forget Fulmer was no longer the coach. After a much publicized comment King Kiffin® made about Meyer allegedly cheating to gain the services of Nu’keese, he goes on to have a wonderful career at some other school because he transfers out of Tennessee due to Florida scoring 80 on Tennessee. Way to go Kiffin…

rogers

Zach Rogers ***

Position: Wide receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Texas Tech
  • Vandy
  • Alabama
  • Auburn
  • Colorado
  • North Carolina
  • Duke
  • South Carolina
  • Stanford

Strengths:

  • Relative of Austin Rogers
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Big Ears
  • Mr. Potato Head lips
  • Has that “Please punch me” look about him.

Prediction:

Zach will eclipse every receiving record that Austin Rogers set, which isn’t saying a lot. However he will also become to stand-in lip model for Steve Tyler’s life story as told by the Oxygen network.

Marlon Walls ****

Position: Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Clemson
  • Ole Miss
  • Miami (FL)
  • Virginia Tech

Strengths:

  • Fools people by making them think he’s high all the time

Weakness:

  • He really is high all time.

Prediction:

He will be kicked off the team in his junior year for drug use. He’ll then go to some small school get an internship to the publication “High Times”. Twenty years later he’ll be the editor.

schofield

JerQuari Schofield ****

Position: Offensive tackle

Other schools that offered:

  • Clemson
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Size
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Resembles what Gary Coleman would look like if he grew

Prediction:

Like most offensive tackles we will never hear from him again until he allows a sack.

sykes

Rae Sykes

Position: Strongside Defensive End

Other schools that offered:

  • Juco Transfer

Strengths:

  • None that I could find

Weaknesses:

  • See strengths

Prediction:

Sykes was part of the 2007 signing class. He was ranked as the #14 DE in the nation by Rivals that year. Is it me or does he look like a cocky smartass? I have a feeling he will remind Vol fans of another Juco transfer named Kenny O’Neil.

teague

Marsalis Teague ****

Position: Athlete

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Clemson
  • Florida
  • Georgia Tech
  • Michigan
  • Ole Miss

Strengths:

  • Elusive
  • Playmaker
  • Speed
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Route running

Prediction:

This is another one that King Kiffin stole from Meyer.  Since Tennessee isn’t sponsored by Under Armor that means Teague will not get to wear that idiotic headgear. As a result Teague will transfer to another school that is sponsored by Under Armor, Hawaii.

williams

Toney Williams ****

Position: Fullback

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Florida
  • Georgia Tech
  • Kentucky

Strengths:

  • Instincts
  • Power
  • Size
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Smiles
  • Change of direction
  • Cutback ability

Prediction:

Will transfer to Georgia Tech after he realizes that Tennessee doesn’t really have the kind of running backs he wants to block for, the kind that actually like smiling.

Posted in College Football, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Tennessee has supermodels cheering for them, yes it’s great to be a Vol

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 29, 2009

marisa-miller

That’s right, model Marisa Miller was at the Tennessee game last night just to cheer for Tennessee’s own Emmanuel Negedu.

To make a long story short, Marisa Miller and her husband Griffin Guess had previously met Emmanuel Negedu when he was still in high school and promised to come watch him play so last night they honored that promise.

“It was really great to see him,” Guess said. “I think he’s grown about an inch and put on 10 pounds. He looks good.”

Psshhh dude look at your wife…she looks better….

“I think the atmosphere will be exciting,” Miller said. “I just hope I don’t embarrass Emmanuel by cheering too loudly.”

I can’t wait for the picture of a sweating like a horse Bruce Pearl giving her a hug. He might need some Dial for his “mansuit”.

So the Tennessee basketball team has supermodels cheering for them and the Alabama basketball team has….well…people like below cheering for them.

Posted in Bruce Pearl, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Pearl Jam, Rocky Top, SEC Baseball, Supermodels, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Broken Plays: Damn it college football season is over edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 9, 2009

This is officially the greatest picture ever to be posted on the web and it comes to us from the Third Saturday in Blogtober and boy do ever have an awesome recruiting update.

Alabama running back Glen Coffee has decided he’s good enough to go but not good enough to picked first and thus by the Lions has decided to go pro.

Just step away! Please!

Brett Favre is talking about retirement AGAIN!

“I’m an emotional guy, and I’m sure people are tired of seeing me get emotional. People would probably say, ‘Oh, here he goes again.’ I think it would just be better for me to just thank the Jets, and I sincerely mean that. It was well worth what I invested. But I’m going to just quietly step away if that’s what happens.’”

If Brett Favre’s retirement was at the center of the Clint Eastwood classic The Unforgiven then I’m sure this line would be said:

“You better bury Brett Favre right! Better not go cuttin’ up, nor otherwise harm no whores. Or I’ll come back and kill every one of you sons-o-bitches.”

Hey Brett, just pop a few vicodin and mull it over.

owens

Great TO thinks he’s a blogger now and has a blog on Yardbarker.

“On Cris Carter’s “shoot ‘em in the head” comment:”All I know is, if I’d been the one who had said that about him, what would everyone have thought?”

Well my answer is… Not much, really. We would have just figured that you were being the same sanctimonious asshole you have always been.

Three of the four spots in this year’s NBA Dunk Contest field have been decided, but the fourth one, will be decided by a vote from the fans. I think Joe Alexander wants your vote.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Brett Favre, Dallas Cowboys, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, NBA, New York Jets, Tennessee Volunteers, Terrell Owens, coach o | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Broken Plays: Happy 2009 Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 2, 2009

sany0308

Woo hoo 2009 is here and you know what means right? It means you put the past behind you and look to the future.

Welcome to Tennessee Coach 0, I sure have missed you. That’s right folks I’m going to have to get Cajun man out of retirement because Coach 0 has left the Saints while snubbing LSU and joined King Kiffin’s staff at Tennessee. All this of course means I have new ammo to make fun of my favorite team.

Yaw yaw Go Vols yaw.

Welcome back Cajun Man

I’m gonna leave this blog…and when I get back I’m not gonna have a shirt on….and the rest of you (*&%$%*^s better have their shirt off too…and if anyone in this %*&^*^% room thinks they can take me…then BRING IT!!!

wOw…sOrry…I think I just blacked Out…did I just say sOmething?

See? That was easy!

Congrats to Jerod Mayo former Tennessee defensive God and this years NFL Defensive Rookie of the year!!!

The former University of Tennessee standout was a nearly unanimous choice, earning 49 of 50 votes Wednesday from a nationwide panel of sports writers and broadcasters who cover the league.

Sir Charles Barkley’s political aspirations aren’t starting off as well as he would have liked.

As most of you know he was cited for a DUI on New Years Eve but now there are something rather interesting circumstances surrounding this situation.

The Smoking Gun has the full report:

According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”

Well that would explain the sweatiness in the mug shot. The old “blow job around the corner” trick, been there tried that. Nice try Sir Charles.

But everyone wants to know it the same “girl” Eddie Murphy picked up a bunch of years ago?

Denver fires Mike Shanahan and yet Norv Turner will most likely remain employed this year. I like Mike Shanahan but I see it was time for him to go after 13 seasons and 2 super bowl victories.

Is it me or does he look like a zombie in the photo below?

Posted in Charles Barkley, DUI, Denver Broncos, Ed Orgeron, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, coach o | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Broken Plays: Don’t expect too much from us this week

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 22, 2008

With this being the week of Christmas it’s just a fair warning of not to expect too much from us this week.

Joel has a family which comes first and I have to drink a lot of bourbon and play Santa and the mall. (I’m just kidding about the Santa part) HO HO Hell!

Another South Carolina coach says “Screw you guys I’m going to Tennessee!” South Carolina strength coach Mark Smith has accepted an offer to join new Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin’s staff in the same capacity. Smith is considered one the best in the business and here is a collection of before and after pictures of Smith’s work.

Eric Berry can potentially kill someone now; it’s scary to imagine that boy any bigger.

It’s King Kiffin’s Kourt and don’t you forget it! King Kiffin attended the Tennessee basketball game this past Saturday and was asked about upsetting God Spurrier and loser interim Raiders coach Tom Cable with the recent coaching hires.

“I don’t really care,” Kiffin said Saturday. “I got a job to do in our athletic department and that’s to put together the best staff we can put together and the best players we can put together. I’m not really concerned about that stuff.

“If Steve’s concerned about my test, I got 39 out of 40,” Kiffin said, responding to comments made by South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier about whether Kiffin had passed the required NCAA recruiting test before contacting prospects. “I’d like to see what he got.”

Boom….headshot….I love it.

The photo above validates my desire to become a NFL referee. Garth DiFelice lays to wood on Saint Louis Rams Kenneth Darby with Tyson like precision. Who knew DiFelice vs. Darby would have more clean shots than Holyfield vs. Valuev?

Also Oakland showed that they have some life left in them. Not that I care but I wanted to use this picture.

Pacman makes it rain without showing remorse. This chick made it snow and is a crying mess, however she can sweep up the floor. She apparently set off the fire alarm during finals week at Okalahoma but I think she crying over the fear of Bob Stoops losing yet another BCS bowl game.

Don’t forget your dignity while you’re sweeping there, honey. I think I saw it over there by the dust bunnies.

Posted in Fail, Fights, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Oakland Raiders, Oklahoma sooners, SEC Coaches, Steve Spurrier, big ten football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »