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The Tennessee/South Carolina grade book. The end is near!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 3, 2008

Has anyone ever seen the movie Magnolia? I was conned into seeing it by a former girlfriend. It’s like three hours and eight minutes of tortuous hell. This Tennessee football season certainly reminds me of that. There never seems to be an end in sight.

This past Saturday’s game was yet another double digit loss and yet another three plus hours of watching mistake after mistake.

Unfortunately asshole Steve God Spurrier said it best in his press conference yesterday.

“The Tennessee band was there last night, weren’t they?” Spurrier said Sunday afternoon in his weekly conference call with reporters. “I’m used to hearing ‘Rocky Top.’ . . . Maybe they only play that when they score. Usually when you play Tennessee, you hear that ‘Rocky Top’ so often it’s ringing in your brain.”

Fulmer’s focus is clearly on winning out however it will not save his job. A 24-23 loss by Tennessee to the Gamecocks in 1992 was one of the main reasons Coach Fulmer’s predecessor, coach Johnny Majors was fired.

No one on the team cares anymore; there was no emotion on the sidelines, even when Berry intercepted the ball when the game was still in reach. It looked like everyone was at a funeral and maybe they were.

Any & all discipline is now gone, I saw how Stephens turned away from Fulmer when he got into his face, there is no respect for the coach because no one cares, they feel like the season is already over.

The amazing thing about this season is the fact the incoming recruiting class is phenomenal. On Saturday afternoon Phoebus quarterback Tajh Boyd announced his commitment to Tennessee. Boyd is ranked as the top QB in Virginia. The Vols so far have what is considered to be a top five class shaping up. However if and when Fulmer is fired will we keep any of those recruits?

“Anybody that likes Tennessee and cares about what the product looks like on the field is frustrated,” Fulmer said, echoing comments from this year. “I’m disappointed that we haven’t played well. I don’t think I’ve let it show on the practice field or in meetings. The players, they’re disappointed and frustrated, but they haven’t let it show in the game. We continue to get effort and haven’t seen a whole lot of finger pointing or anything like that.

“They’ve done what we’ve asked them to do and what they should do, and that’s continue to work and stay positive, play hard and look forward to what the next challenge is.”

My main goal is to get Coach Fulmer elected to the white house. As you can see below I spared no expense and sponsored a car in yesterday’s NASCAR race.

OK let’s go to the grade book.

Quarterbacks: F

Maybe we need to start B.J. Coleman. I wonder if the whole offensive system is broken. Rumor has it that 75% of the offensive plays are being changed by Coach Fulmer. If that is the case then he needs to allow Clawson to call the game against Wyoming and keep mum about the play calling. Regardless of the system no team can overcome to stupid mistakes that both quarterbacks seem to have made this past Saturday.

Running Backs: F

Creer’s fumble set up a touchdown that put the game out of reach. Foster ran hard and averaged around 4 yards per carry. He was very fortunate to get the ball over the goal line for a touchdown just moments before losing the handle on it.

Receivers: D

With Jones and Moore on the bench there was zero explosiveness. South Carolina’s secondary was not challenged.

Offensive Line: F

Just when you thought Tennessee was going to start running the ball effectively the O-line would fail. There was no pass protection. The O-line gave up six sacks and of course penalties were again a problem.

Defensive Line: A-

With an injured D-line, the Vols still recorded three tackles for a loss and a sack.

Linebackers: B+

Welcome back Rico McCoy. He had nine tackles and one was for a loss. Ellix Wilson had six. Nevin McKenzie had four, one for a loss.

Secondary: A-

Two words: Eric Berry. I’m willing to bet Chuck Norris wears Eric Berry underroos.

Special Teams: F-

Rogan’s fumble during a punt return was inexcusable. Demetrice Morley was called offside during a field goal attempt that prompted South Carolina to go for it on fourth down. And let’s not fail to mention the 67-yard punt return that almost scored.

Coaching: F

Discipline is dead and of course there were to many conservative calls.

Overall F

Tennessee is consistent…consistently awful and embarrassing. This loss could go down in the books as the worse loss in this decade.

Posted in Discipline, Eric Berry, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The War that is known as the 3rd Saturday in October

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 24, 2008

 

Most experts say that fans take sports and cheering for their favorite teams to seriously. In most cases I tend to agree with them. However those experts have never experienced the Third Saturday in October either. They do not know the joy or exhilaration of seeing the Tennessee Volunteers or the Alabama Crimson Tide take the field right before kickoff. Those experts have never felt the excitement in the air that is buzzing around when the teams line up.

This game is much more than a simple competition between two border state rival schools. This game is about passion, heart, pride & respect! And nothing means more than to these two teams than respect.

For Phil Fulmer this year’s game is about his legacy and his coaching career at Tennessee. For Nick Saban this year’s game is about a possible BCS birth and the chance to play for the national championship.

It’s hard to say who has the most to lose in this game. If Tennessee loses then Fulmer is most likely out as the head coach & if Saban loses then people will still question the hire by Alabama and people will point to this lose with an “I told ya so” attitude.

It is also equally hard to say who has the most to gain by a victory. If Tennessee wins then Fulmer will most likely keep his job as the head coach whether he wins out or not. A win would also propel the VOLS into a brighter national light. The number seven recruiting class that Fulmer is currently building could jump to number one. If Alabama wins then Saban brings Alabama to an 8-0 record and a possible number one ranking. The road to the BCS National Championship becomes ever so closer. And of course Saban could reel in yet another top rated recruiting class.

For the fans this game is an oxymoron of painful orgasmic joy. They live and die on every play, every called timeout & every injury. Both fan bases are smart enough to know that one can throw out the win/loss records for these two schools when they play. That fact alone makes rivalry games like this so intense.

Throw out what the experts say about sports and the seriousness of being a fan. They have never witnessed college gridiron gladiators battle each other like these two teams. If you look into the fans eyes on this holy day you will see both love & hate. Love for their favorite team and hate for the opposing team.

The Sunday following the game (or Monday for some fans) as the players and fans alike are recovering from their injuries or walking on air, the realization should set in that this is simply a game. However the fact that their memory will either joyously or painfully remind them of the final score and then reality actually sets in.

This is not a game. This is war that is fought only once a year and victors of that year’s war savor every moment of it for many times over in their heads. I’ve always said a good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team.

Ladies and Gentlemen this is not a game: THIS IS THE BATTLE KNOWN AS THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER!!!!!!

GO VOLS! Beat Bama!!!

Now let’s review some past Bama farks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Big Orange, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Random musings 10/07/08

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 7, 2008

Click to enlarge you'll love it

Jim Harbaugh gets fined by the PAC-10 for telling the truth about their suck ass refs.

Even though Kimbo Slice got his ass kicked in 14 seconds by Seth Petruzelli, Slice still got paid $500.000 and Petruzelli only received $50,000.

Way to go Red Sox! I’m currently pointing and laughing at Lisa Horne who is the worlds biggest Angels fan. J/K Lisa!

Chase Daniel and Warren Buffet are apparently BFFs 4-ever!! This is the most shocking thing to come out of the Missouri-Nebraska game other then the fact that they hung over “half a hundred” on the Cornhuskers before halftime.

Some Cubs fans have erected a shrine to futility outside Wrigley Field.

One letter, short and to the point, stood out. “Dear Cubs,” it began. “Thanks for nothing.” Among the torn-up Cubs posters and T-shirts, another note read: “Dear Cubs 2008, It really hurts knowing I’ll never see you again. We had some great times.”

The shrine, at Waveland and Sheffield, was started by Murphy’s Bleachers workers upset at the Cubs getting drummed out of the playoffs. It grew as passersby added messages and trinkets.

I guess they shouldn’t have printed those World Series tickets up huh?

The Tennessee kicking game is back to full strength because Colquitt returns against Georgia. I hope he is sober and STAYS sober.

The lovely Penny Lane tells the world why it’s great to be a VOL!! This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a llllllooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggg time.

I wonder if Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez will start booing his own team.

The 3rd Saturday in Blogtober has the 2008 version of Rocky Top posted.

Posted in Boston Red Sox, Britton Colquitt, Chase Daniel, Chicago Cubs, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Kimbo Slice, Lisa Horne, Michigan Wolverines, Missouri Tigers, Pac 10 football, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Seth Petruzelli, Tennessee Volunteers, cromptonites, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Tennessee/Northern Illinois grade book

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 6, 2008

I feel confident in typing that the Crompton era has been put to a rest at Tennessee. Though the score doesn’t reflect it, Stephens is the better QB to lead the VOLS. Keep in mind that one reason the score doesn’t reflect why the switch at QB is good move as opposed to a lateral move is because the coaching staff kept the chains on him.

Nick “The Rifleman” Stephens still might be another piece to the Fulmer downfall though. If Stephens starts producing big time number and wins then I’m sure some critics will say “Why didn’t Fulmer bench Crompton the Mountain (False) Messiah sooner?”, but if Stephens is a bust as well then other critics will ask “What type of players is Fulmer recruiting?” Either way this is a double edged sword for Fulmer.

It distresses me to some degree that the UT athletic director Mike Hamilton had to “suggest” a change at QB to Fulmer. I believe Hamilton when he states he made the “suggestion” in order to get the crowd to show to positive energy. However I also believe that Hamilton made this “suggestion” as a way to sell more tickets.

“Phillip and I have regular meetings and we were just kicking it around and talking about it,” Hamilton said. “I just said I would encourage you that if you have a decision you ought to announce it in advance so the fans can know that.”

What a prince of a man.

One thing the score reflects is that the offensive problems that have plagued UT this season goes far deeper than the QB position. I’ll say it plainly: The whole system is broken. At times I don’t believe the right personnel are in the game. We’ll go over that as I release the grades for this week. I’m not the only one believing that as well. Some big time “donors” (other schools call them boosters) are voicing that opinion as well.

Via GVX complete story here.

“I do believe there’s time for some new blood in the head coaching position, I do,” said Chattanooga‘s Brian Williams, a VASF donor for nine years.

“He’s been good, but it’s just too conservative. There’s been too many times we’ve played not to lose and we’ve lost, instead of being aggressive and taking it a full 60 minutes, and I don’t see that happening with Phil being the coach.”

“We just recently had a change this past year with the offensive coordinator and everything, and it seems like we still have the same situation we’ve had previous years, being too conservative, not being open with the offense,” Williams said.

“I think Phil needs to open up and let the offensive coordinator run the offense like he should.”

So does Chris Parrott, a 1990 UT graduate and VASF donor since the program started.

“Up until this season I have defended Phillip Fulmer because he was my school’s coach,” she said. “It’s getting harder for me to defend with the performance on the field.”

Parrott sees the coaching change that UT made in basketball, hiring Bruce Pearl to invigorate the program, and hopes the football program could find as good a fit.

However, it took UT several tries before finding a Pearl-like fit for the basketball program.

“I predicted at the beginning of the season we’d probably be 5-7,” Parrott said. “Again, I respect Phillip Fulmer. I’m so glad he brought my school a national championship (1998), but it’s probably time, and I think it would be a good, positive change.”

I’m still not 100% on that idea I myself would like to see how this season pans out with Stephens. As the Ghost of Neyland of the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober points out in an excellent posting about Stephens…there was another QB by the name of Peyton Manning that had similar numbers in his outing. I think that Manning kid grew up to be a special QB, anyone want to argue that point with me?

Without further rambling let’s review the grades.

QB: B

Stephens was 10 of 17 for 156 yards and one TD and two of the 17 were drops by the receivers. I told you the coaching staff kept him under wraps. Now you might realize that Crompton was averaging the same amount in passing yards however Stephens had zero interceptions. Has Crompton played a game this without an interception? Something else that statistics can not show is how the other players were rallying behind him on the sidelines. Stephens hung in the pocket and managed the entire game well. Stephens is clearly the new leader of the VOLS.

Running backs: F

That’s right an F. Foster had 18 carries for 75 yards. Even though he didn’t fumble he showed a real lack of power. Hardesty only had seven carries and never got in the game. This is an example of the incorrect personnel in the game. I know that you know that we both know Creer should be playing more. I understand that it is important for Foster to obtain the all-time Tennessee rushing record but scoring points and ball possession is important as well.

Receivers: D-

Denarius Moore made a name for himself using his break away speed to haul in a 52 yard TD pass. Josh “He brings hell with him” Briscoe had two catches that totaled 22 yards however he decided to pull a “foster” and fumble the ball. Braden Warren and Gerald Jones thought they were both Stocker and dropped easy passes.

Offensive Line: F

They got their asses kicked by some Mid-Major creampuff whose only claim to fame is the fact Cindy Crawford lived in the same town that the university is located at. Ramon Foster missed a block that caused Stephens to take a fumble inducing hit. There was no push in short yardage situations.

Defensive Line: C-

There is still a lack of sacks this season and stupid penalties such as late hits (yes I’m talking to you Bolden) plague this group.

Linebackers: C-

While they moved around a lot, the Huskies were falling forward on most of their runs. McKenzie had nine tackles, two tackles-for-loss. Rico McCoy is still a tackling machine with no mercy and had a sack.

Secondary: B

Though they didn’t play as well as they have in the past games this season, the 3rd string NIU QB couldn’t deliver the ball to the receivers. I think a lot of the receivers appeared open because the secondary was trying to lure the NIU QB into making a mistake. Eric Berry succeeded by grabbing an interception and running it back 48 yards. Stupid fouls were called on Rogan & Williams.

Special Teams: D+

There was decent enough coverage throughout the night however Daniel Lincoln Logs is still having problems making field goals. Lincoln made two field goals, one by bouncing off the upright bar and the other barely hooked to get inside the upright. He also missed a 32 yard chip shot. Cunningham had a punt blocked. Again I ask the question: Why don’t we have a special teams coach?

Coaching: C+

That’s right C+ people. This is the highest grade I’ve given all season. Fulmer and Clawson had Stephens ready to go and even though it was a creampuff team of sorts, it has to be challenging to come in and try to win when the fans have been booing and the team is 1-3. The defense played well and they were on the field for over 33 minutes.

Overall: B-

Even though I call NIU a creampuff team they are phenomenally well coached. Granted I would have loved to see more points scored but there was a new QB in the game. I truly believe this team can beat anyone with the right personnel in the game. However I do not have the luxury of making that call only the coaches do. I pray they’ll make the right personnel calls for the Georgia game.

Posted in Go Vols, Nick Stephens, Peyton Manning, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols, boosters, cromptonites, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Tennessee/Auburn grade book

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 29, 2008

Riddle me this dear readers:

What is the one thing that is older than God?

The answer is simple really, it’s time. Jim Croce wanted to bottle it, Pink Floyd sang about it on their Dark Side of the Moon album and Styx claimed to have to much of it on their hands.

Time is one thing we waste while at the same moment wishing we had more. At 1-3 time is seemly running out on the Fulmer era and time is quickly closing in on the realization that Crompton simply is not the best option at QB for this team.

Fulmer announced yesterday that Crompton and Stephens will split practice time at the QB position. That is an excellent sign that a change at the QB position is coming.

“I’d much rather the guy we anticipated being the starter play well and execute like we want,” Fulmer said during his weekly teleconference Sunday. “But that’s not happening for us on a consistent basis right now. I think we have to take a look at our options.”

Of course the Mountain (False) Messiah doesn’t see things that clearly. If his talent and decision making were as great as his arrogance, he would own every Tennessee passing record there is today.

“It brings out the best in me and I have every confidence in the world in myself that I’m going to be fine and I’m still going to be the guy,” Crompton said Sunday night. “That’s just how I go look at it.”

In my opinion Crompton is the reason Tennessee lost this game. If it wasn’t for the fumble that resulted in an Auburn touchdown, Tennessee would have won the game.

Crompton must have some dirt or something against Fulmer because Fulmer states the fumble was Foster’s fault. I’ve watched that play over and over in slow motion and zoom and I just don’t see it the way he does.

Fumble Explained: The fumbled handoff between Crompton and tailback Arian Foster that resulted in an Auburn touchdown was a result of Foster holding his right elbow too low on the exchange, Fulmer said.

“It hit Arian’s elbow,” Fulmer said. “He didn’t quite have his elbow up as high as he should have.”

Either way it’s time for some significant changes either with the coaching and play calling or at the QB position.

Ladies and Gentlemen: let’s open this week’s grade book.

Quarterbacks F

Even Peyton Manning’s presence couldn’t help the Mountain Messiah. Jonathan Crompton’s fumble was the reason this game was a loss for Tennessee. He was 8-of-23 for 67 yards. Not good. In fact that’s downright embarrassing. Crompton looks like he has ADD. He clearly isn’t focused at times and appears confused. While the G-Gun option was successful at times it obviously wasn’t enough to secure the points needed to win. Crompton and UT’s receivers clearly weren’t on the same page on several plays.

Running Backs C-

Even though Fulmer has pinned the fumble on Arian Foster, saying he had his arm too low on the exchange, I whole hardly disagree with that assessment. Crompton did not look the ball in. It’s that simple. Hardesty looked great and Fosters had some decent runs.

Receivers D

Lucas Taylor dropped a perfect pass out of the G-Gun.. The Vols didn’t look dynamic but they proved the ability to get open at times against a good Auburn secondary. However I’ll admit there were some plays that they could have done more to help a struggling QB out.

Offensive line D-

UT’s top two rushers, Foster and Hardesty, averaged less than four yards a carry. The Vols allowed six tackles for a loss, including two sacks.

Secondary A+

UT’s vaunted secondary allowed one Auburn touchdown, and played to win in the second half. Dennis Rogan’s interception and exceptional run back set up Tennessee’s only touchdown and was a big momentum changer.

Linebackers A-

Nevin McKenzie had two pass breakups, including a big-time play the ended an Auburn drive in the fourth quarter. Ellix Wilson had 10 tackles, including one for a loss. Rico McCoy had six tackles.

Defensive Line A+

The D-Line showed serious ability defending two quarterbacks with far different styles. Ben Martin registered the first sack of the season by a UT defensive end. Fellow end Chris Walker had another. Tackle Dan Williams had eight tackles, two for a loss. Robert Ayers also recorded a tackle behind the line of scrimmage.

Special Teams B+

Chad Cunningham’s leg finally woke up & dropped three punts inside the 5 and kicking two touchbacks. Daniel Lincoln made both his field-goal tries, his first attempts since UT’s opener. Gerald Jones provided a spark on punt returns, including a 40-yarder that flipped the field.

Coaching D/C

Tennessee couldn’t get 11 men on the field in the first quarter when linebacker Adam Myers-White had to sprint onto the field as Auburn snapped the ball. That play defines the first month of the season. The offensive play calling is atrocious. When is the last time Tennessee has called for a screen play?

The “C” is for the great job Chavis has done with the defense this season. Tennessee is ranked 4th nationally in interceptions. The secondary is plain nasty and the linebackers are great. I’m confused as to why everyone wants Chavis gone.

Overall D-

Perhaps UT has enough talent to compete for a championship. However unless fundamentals improve dramatically this team will go down in the books as one of the worst Tennessee teams in the storied history that is Tennessee Football. The Vols better get better play from their quarterback, whoever he might be.

Posted in Auburn, Go Vols, Mountain Messiah, Peyton Manning, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, cromptonites, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, moral victories | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Random Musings for Friday…A Tragic Thing has Occured

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 26, 2008

I’m presently writing this from a double super secret location. Tragically my motherboard died last night so this is not typed from comfort of my lair. I’ll buy a new one today and be up and running by tonight. In the mean time think about this:

The USC Trojans were beaten by the Beavers (Get your minds out of the gutter) to become the newest most talented college football failures.

LawVol has written on open letter to the Vol nation.

Who would you choose as the next University of Tennessee football coach?

There are plenty of rumors that swirling around Phil Fulmer at the moment.

You should see what the soccer moms are carrying in Lebanon, Pa.

And now here is the newest “Damn! what a catch!” It should win an Espy.

Posted in Pac 10 football, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SoCal, Tennessee Volunteers, USC, University of Southern Cal, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume VIII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

Sings “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” I hate that song but right now is the most wonderful time of the year because college football is about to kickoff. How fitting it is to have the craziest Big Orange Roundtablers, Losers with Socks, to be the host this week.

Now call your kids and/or significant other to the computer and STFU because we’re going to the Roundtable.

1. In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

For me the perfect time would be 7:00 PM EST. In my perfect world that would give me the time to get my exercise in by throwing unopened jars of baby food at the homeless AKA Bammers, leave plenty of time to blog about how much UCLA sucks ass & watch Judge Judy.

2. Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

I’m sure Coach Fulmer lost sleep over that embarrassing loss to Bama last year but not because of the choices he made but devising a way to enact full revenge for this years game.

I’m sure if we lose a game by three points the coaches will ponder about the choices they made during and before the game, but lose sleep completely….no.

Phil making it rain....

3. Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshmen against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

I’m going to allow Billy Bob Bammer to answer this question. After the 11 arrests unfortunate incidents this off-season, Lord Saban has no choice but to start the freshmen. I’m not sure that Saban will start 10 freshmen against Clemson. It is my belief that Saban is doing what he does best and that is lying through his teeth playing mind games.

If Lord Saban AKA the Behr Reincarnated doesn’t win against Tennessee, Auburn and gets Croomed again then I is sure the Red Elephant Club will be reluctant to give him a pass. Then again he is the most powerful man in football at least according to Forbes and A.I.L. magazine (Alabama Incest Love) so he might get a pass. I’m out of here I gots squirrels to hunt!

RTR Bitches!

4. Critique Lou Holtz as a ESPN “analyst”. Irish and Cock Homer or scripted live rassler?

I personally love Lou Holtz…when he’s not within earshot of me. Holtz is the evil moke announcer of ESPN. Someone says something intelligent Holtz is compelled to disagree. I would say that some of his spoken drivel is scripted but the “Lou Lisp” makes it impossible to tell.

The final analysis is he’s a criminally insane Irish Homer who loves the Cock. Funny thing is neither present day fan base can stand him now.

Oh yeah he sucks at everything he does.

Be sure to stop by all the Big Orange Roundtable members’ blogs for their answers.

Posted in Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, Cocks, Fuck Bama, Fulmer, Go Vols, Holtz, Lord Saban, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Nick Saban, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The Big Orange Roundtable Vol. VII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 19, 2008

Is it that time again?

As Horseshack for the timely show Welcome Back Kotter would say, “Ooh ooh ohh I know the answer!”

Yes folks it time for this weeks Big Roundtable! This weeks host is none other than the smart-asses geniuses of Fulmer’s Belly, who of course takes sarcasm to whole new level. Hence that’s why they’ve been on my blog roll forever and a day now.

Now let’s get to the questions for this week.

1. Knock on wood before answering this question, but let’s assume that Jonathan Crompton goes out with a season ending injury in the 1st half of the first game of the season. Should we just pack it up and wait until next season, or is there a glimmer of hope in any of the young backups?

There is always a glimmer of hope! BJ Coleman and Nick Stephens are the back ups and people say they aren’t looking good. However I have it on good word that Coleman is so deathly afraid of the Mountain Messiah Crompton that he is mucking it up on purpose in practice.

The Mountain Messiah can throw the ball the distance of five football fields. Coleman can do that same except while laying on his stomach. Coleman is ironically the Mountain Messiah’s kryptonite, much like Crompton was Ainge’s kryptonite.

Colemanites assemble and start fighting for what is yours. Why wait till Crompton goes down? Carpe diem! Carpe diem!

If all else fails we have Eric Berry. He can do anything he wants to do except coach of course

2. Does Erik Ainge have a future in the NFL?

Of course he has a future. Someone will have to keep a current count of Brett Fa***’s happy pills pain relievers. The sad thing is if Ainge was drafted by Chicago he would probably be the starter. Grossman is out and Kyle Orton? Puh-lease. The Jets like Ainge because he holds the clipboard much like Chad Pennington did when he was injured. Which was a lot.

3. Why in the hell did you decide to blog about Tennessee football? Aren’t there already enough Tennessee blogs?

(Sigh) :::bangs head on keyboard::: THIS IS NOT A TENNESSEE BLOG.

Sure I love Tennessee to the point that my piss is orange. But me and the writers here strive to cover all teams from all sports. We don’t focus solely on Tennessee or the SEC. I do love to pick on Tennessee (which reminds me I’m worried since we haven’t had any arrests lately) & the other teams of the SEC. Like my tag line proclaims this is a blog on why ALL teams suck. (Alabama sucking the hardest though)

4. If you could be one player in one game in Tennessee history, which player and which game would you pick? Why?

Travis Stephens because he rushed for 226 yards on just 19 carries and scored 2 touchdowns as Tennessee broke a 30-year winless drought against the Gators in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with a 34-32 victory.

As most of you know that was the last game God Spurrier coached the Swamp. I wonder how that feels. His last game at Florida was a loss to Tennessee.

5 Which is your favorite rivalry and why? (Not necessarily limited to Tennessee teams)

When people talk about rivalry in sports, the very first dual that comes to mind is Red Sox/Yankees or Yankees/Red Sox, depending if they are a scum sucking Yankee fan. This rivalry transcends the field of play and dates back to the Civil War. That’s a rivalry people!

I ♥ my white hangers

The Red Sox were one of the most successful teams in baseball at the turn of the 20th century and through the following two decades. The team won the inaugural World Series in 1903 and four more between 1912 and 1918. During this period, the Yankees were often called the Highlanders, in reference to playing their games in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan. Although physically located on a hilltop, the Highlanders routinely finished near the bottom of the standings because much like the Yankees of today they sucked. The one notable exception came in 1904, when the Highlanders, led by pitcher Jack Chesbro who won a record 41 games, met  Boston on the final game of the season to decide the AL pennant. Chesbro threw a wild pitch and Boston won the pennant, but there was no World Series that year as the Giants refused to play. That would be the last time in a hundred years that the Red Sox would defeat the Yankees in a title-deciding game.

In 1916, the Red Sox were purchased by Harry Frazee on credit for $500,000. Though the team won the World Series in 1918, Frazee was hard-pressed to pay off the loans he accrued by purchasing the team and by producing Broadway shows. After the Red Sox finished sixth in the American League in 1919, Frazee sold several Red Sox players, including pitcher-turned-outfielder Babe Ruth to the Yankees. Frazee received $125,000 and a loan of $300,000-secured on Fenway Park, the Red Sox’ home stadium-for Ruth.

Ruth’s arrival in New York simultaneously launched the Yankee dynasty while ravaging the Red Sox. While the Red Sox’ five World Series titles were a record at the time, 1918 would be the team’s last championship for 86 years. Meanwhile, Ruth’s home run hitting prowess anchored the Yankee line-up, which became known as “Murderers’ Row” in the late 1920s. After his trade to the Yankees, Ruth’s new team reached the World Series seven times during his career in New York, winning four. This abrupt reversal of fortunes for the Red Sox marked the beginning of the supposed “Curse of the Bambino”. But it was not the Ruth deal alone that reversed the fortunes of both clubs.

I will not get into the complete history of this rivalry. I don’t have the time to tell the complete story right here, so if you don’t know it already then I apologize. Let’s fast forward a little bit though.

The year 2004 brought Jason Varitek’s mitt in Alex Rodriguez’s face. And then came another October meeting, and the Yankees standing three outs away — with Mariano Rivera on the mound — from a humiliating sweep of the Red Sox. And then came the biggest postseason collapse in history, and the Red Sox celebrating on the Yankee Stadium field. And the earth itself seemed to tilt on its axis.

These days there is more friction between the fans than there is between the players. I mean, we see the heat come out every now and again, but by and large guys like Jeter and Veritek are too professional to let the whole thing get “too far” under their skin. I know what you are going to say, “What about Veritek and A-Rod?”

That was a catcher protecting his pitcher, and yes the rest of the team was energized by the way it played out, but the fans and media turned it into something bigger I think, and hey, I’m all for it.

Yankees vs. Red Sox is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports because it contains every element required for a great rivalry, and more

Between 1919 and 2003, the Yankees had won 26 World Series championships. The Red Sox had won none. The one constant in the rivalry was that the Yankees always won in the end, a fact that became a significant part of the lore surrounding the rivalry: According to the so-called “Curse of the Bambino,” the Red Sox’ woes began when they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

So in October 2004, when the Red Sox finally trumped the Yankees, becoming the first team in history to overcome a three-games-to-none deficit — then went on to sweep the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series — the curse was broken and the rivalry was changed forever. The Red Sox are the current defending champions the Yankees are pretty much out of it.

However the rivalry will live on and every year it grows stronger and more passionate for all the fans even the suck-ass Yankee fans.

Bonus: Who will win the national title this year? And by how many points will Tennessee win? (See what we did there?)

Tennessee over West Virginia with the score of 55-10.

Go on and check to other members of the Roundtable of their responses to these questions. Now go now damn t! Move it! GO VOLS! GO SOX!

Posted in Big Orange, Boston Red Sox, Erik Ainge, Go Vols, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Sox Rock!, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, UT vols, cromptonites, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Hells Yeah!!! The SEC rulez in this Top 20 poll as well!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

We all know the SEC generally dominates the football polls this year; well they also dominate the Princeton Review list of top party schools in the country!!!

Let’s break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn’t look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona State Sundevils, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Colorado Buffalos, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerrell Powe, Rocky Top, SEC, Texas Longhorns, Uga, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, Zooker, alcoholics, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Heaven Help Britton Colquitt

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 8, 2008

The last time I wrote about Britton Colquitt people said I was harsh. I still stand by what I wrote today however Colquitt is claiming to have learned his lesson with some help of course.

The DUI arrest that occurred in February cost him his football scholarship, a five-game suspension and was an embarrassment to his family and to the University of Tennessee.

Britton says he will change a thing.

“God’s teaching me a big lesson, what to prioritize in my life, and I’ve leaned a lot from this,” Colquitt said Monday after pleading guilty to DUI in Sessions Court.

“I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could. It’s made me somebody I need to be in the future.”

Not to sound too cynical here but nothing helps people find God like the criminal justice system. I just can’t stand people claiming they have found God, or were given a message from God, or anything religious without something to back up that claim.

Way too many times, people have said that God gave them a lesson, saved them, and changed them, etc…..then a year later something else happens.

I would rather Colquitt (or anyone else) go 10 years without an incident…..then point to the period of time where they were changed by the influence of God.

I just would like some action before claims of being touched by God. There are too many people giving glory to god…..without giving glory to god if that makes any sense.

I’m also tired of people referring to arrests as “mistakes”.

At the same time I recognize that sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you can start your way back up and yes there’s a real possibility he is sincere in his words at least I hope he is.

The charge was amended to first-offense DUI and Colquitt received the standard penalty:

A suspended sentence of 11 months, 29 days; suspended driver’s license for one year; $350 fine and court costs; 24-hour detention and 24-hour litter pickup; attend DUI school.

“I’ve been through a lot because of myself, the actions I’ve made and the decisions I’ve made,” Colquitt said. “I just wanted to get it over with and take my punishment and not try to fight it.

“Just learn from my mistakes, move on and make me a better person.”

Factoring in a series of alcohol-related incidents in September 2003 when Colquitt was an incoming freshman, Coach Fulmer revoked Colquitt’s scholarship and suspended him the first five games of the 2008 season.

He will suit up starting with the Oct. 11 game at Georgia.

“It’s tough,” Colquitt said. “You realize what you’re missing.

“I know when the season comes around and I’m having to watch five games, I’ll really appreciate those last seven. Just being able to take the field will be a lot more of an honor. I took it for granted before.”

“I kind of got lost again in my ways, in the things I was focusing on in my life,” he said, “and it led me back into kind of the same thing.”

Colquitt requested Monday to report Friday morning to serve the remainder of his 24-hour detention. He is credited with 10 hours following his arrest.

He returns to Sessions Court on Aug. 11 to check progress on his probation.

I still feel that he should not be allowed on the team. Too many young men sacrifice so much of their lives to be a part of such a proud tradition. He does not deserve to wear the uniform.

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Big Orange, Britton Colquitt, DUI, Go Vols, God, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, drunk | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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