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Archive for the ‘SEC Football’ Category

Broken Plays: Happy 2009 Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 2, 2009


Woo hoo 2009 is here and you know what means right? It means you put the past behind you and look to the future.

Welcome to Tennessee Coach 0, I sure have missed you. That’s right folks I’m going to have to get Cajun man out of retirement because Coach 0 has left the Saints while snubbing LSU and joined King Kiffin’s staff at Tennessee. All this of course means I have new ammo to make fun of my favorite team.

Yaw yaw Go Vols yaw.

Welcome back Cajun Man

I’m gonna leave this blog…and when I get back I’m not gonna have a shirt on….and the rest of you (*&%$%*^s better have their shirt off too…and if anyone in this %*&^*^% room thinks they can take me…then BRING IT!!!

wOw…sOrry…I think I just blacked Out…did I just say sOmething?

See? That was easy!

Congrats to Jerod Mayo former Tennessee defensive God and this years NFL Defensive Rookie of the year!!!

The former University of Tennessee standout was a nearly unanimous choice, earning 49 of 50 votes Wednesday from a nationwide panel of sports writers and broadcasters who cover the league.

Sir Charles Barkley’s political aspirations aren’t starting off as well as he would have liked.

As most of you know he was cited for a DUI on New Years Eve but now there are something rather interesting circumstances surrounding this situation.

The Smoking Gun has the full report:

According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”

Well that would explain the sweatiness in the mug shot. The old “blow job around the corner” trick, been there tried that. Nice try Sir Charles.

But everyone wants to know it the same “girl” Eddie Murphy picked up a bunch of years ago?

Denver fires Mike Shanahan and yet Norv Turner will most likely remain employed this year. I like Mike Shanahan but I see it was time for him to go after 13 seasons and 2 super bowl victories.

Is it me or does he look like a zombie in the photo below?

Posted in Charles Barkley, DUI, Denver Broncos, Ed Orgeron, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, coach o | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Iowa State fondly remembers Gene Chizik

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 30, 2008

This was taken from Iowa State central campus web-cam. Charles Barkely would have written the message in yellow.

Posted in Auburn, Big Twelve Football, Charles Barkley, Gene Chizik, Iowa State Cyclones, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Alabama Crimson Tide All-America Andre Smith has been suspended from the Sugar Bowl

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on December 29, 2008


WTF is Saban doing? You just don’t go and suspend an All-American left tackle like Andre Smith for violating “team rules.” He won the Outland trophy for God’s sake!

“The University of Alabama, the team and the football program are more important than any individual player,” Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban said in a statement Monday. “Every one on our team depends on each other to be responsible, to make good choices and decisions relative to their actions.”

Wait…we win the freaking Fulmer Cup for having the most off season’s arrests and now you want to play Mr. Disciplinarian? We need him Saban.

Now Smith is a perfect fit to go to Detroit with the 1st overall pick…he seemed too good for them until now!

Thanks Saban…its bad enough we got beat by jort loving Gators and now this.

“Our priority and focus as a team is to play the best football game of the season in this Sugar Bowl, and to support our players to overcome any adversity this unfortunate situation has created,” Saban said.

He better not be opening his own Jimmy Johns franchise. I own that shit in Bama! RTR!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bammers, Discipline, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, bad calls | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

YMSWWC’s Awesome F**cking Guide to the 2008 Bowl Season! (With pictures this year)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 18, 2008


This would have been posted earlier but I kinda sorted screwed up and forgot to send Joel the bowl schedule. Yeah, my bad, I’m a dick. Whatever. Anywho let’s go over this year bowl schedule and mine and Joel’s picks and then you call your bookie.

This year there is a smorgasbord of crap-tastic games to choose from! Yay!

Non-BCS Bowls

EagleBank Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN
Where: Washington
Who: Navy vs. Wake Forest

Joel says: Anchors aweigh. I really wish Navy would have beat Notre Dame again this year. Wait, this is a real bowl game???

Thomas says: I pick Navy because I’m sick and damn tired of hearing how the Wake Forest is so good. Blah blah blah. Is this bowl game being funded by any of the bailout money by the way? Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in ACC Football, Air Force, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, BCS, BYU, Big East, Big Twelve Football, Bob Stoops, Boise State, Cal, Charlie Weis, Clemson Tigers, Colorado State, Conference USA, Dabo Swinney, ESPN, East Carolina Pirates, FSU, Florida Atlantic, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fresno State, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hawaii Warriors, Houston Cougars, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Lou Lisp, Memphis Tigers, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Mike Gundy, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, NC State Wolfpack, Navy, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Nevada, Nick Saban, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Oklahoma sooners, Ole Miss, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rutgers, SEC, SEC Football, Satan, South Carolina Gamecocks, South Florida Bulls, Steve Spurrier, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, Troy, Univeristy of Troy, University of California berkeley, University of Southern Cal, Urban Meyer, Vanderbilt Commodores, Virginia Tech, Wake Forest, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football, boston college, mike leach, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, southern cal, southern miss, tOSU, vandy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

South Carolina’s Emanuel Cook ruled too stupid to play in the Outback bowl game

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 18, 2008

Emanuel “Gun Charges” Cook, the talented strong safety and South Carolina’s leading tackler for the past 2 seasons, has been ruled academically ineligible for the Outback Bowl.

Maybe the stupid tag shouldn’t apply here, you see Cook simply quit going to class and while there are academic advisors who take the tests for tutor the “student athletes” and report any problems to the Ole Ball (Sac) Coach (wink wink nudge nudge), apparently someone failed to do so in this case, or God Spurrier simply chose to ignore it. After all this is the same coach that whined because some of his recruits were too stupid to even gain admission at one time.

Several of the Gamecock faithful are questioning just how long as this gone on. Mainly because of the comments Spurrier made regarding this situation with Cook.

“It’s disappointing that he did not think of his teammates or his university. It’s not hard to pass six hours. But he didn’t put much effort in, it appears. And that’s why he’s not playing. And it appears, right now, he’s played his last game.

He tossed it in midway through (the semester) from what I understand,” Spurrier said.

He had 6 SEMESTER HOURS to pass? Six? That’s all? Why that’s only around 2 flipping hours a week. My question is if this has been happening since the middle of the semester then how in the hell was he playing? At least Fulmer and other coaches suspend players for a game or two when they don’t go to class. Oh wait…that’s because they also seem to find out when their players fail to meet the standards regarding class attendance. Apparently Spurrier can’t say that same.

Another question I have is how long until E Cook’s gun falls out of the waistband of his sweatpants and fires a bullet into his leg?

Update 12/19/08

Apparently Cook isn’t the only stupid player, offensive lineman Kyle Nunn could not pass the pathetic 6 semester hours and the academic status of Dustin Lindsey, who actually flunked out completely once before three years ago, awaits a word on his academic appeal. In other words he re-colored his picture and kept within the lines this time.


Posted in Emanuel Cook, Gamecocks, Old Ball Sack Coach, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Welcome to the FAIL room bitches!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on December 16, 2008


That’s right! I is back! I’ve been silent this whole season while Saint Saban the Behr reincarnated racks up victory after victory. The reason for my silence is mainly because I’ve been doing a stretch in the state pen or as my fellow Bama boosters like to say: scouting for new football recruits. RTR!

First let’s talk about my bestest friend in the world Mr. James Fail, a fellow Bama booster. After all the millions of hard earned dollars that was earned through moonshine and cock-fighting that Mr. Fail has given to the BUSDGP (Buy us some damn good players) fund, Bama has officially named the visitors locker room “The Fail Room.” RTR! I also call my bedroom the fail room but for other reasons.

Strangely enough, another donor’s donation resulted in the renaming of Saban’s office. The Donor’s name is James J. HolyShitThat’sALotOfMoneyI’llTakeTheJob… Jr.

Hopefully someday I’ll get that outhouse in the west end zone named after me. Also this is coming just after Mississippi State renamed its stadium “LOL Field.”

Now on to the evil plan Auburn has that concerns assassinating Saint Saban.  Everyone knows this plan won’t work…but it almost did. Reports are flooding in that Saban’s ribs are sore from laughing at the fact that Gene Chizik has hired as the Auburn coach. RTR!

Nice try Auburn but it didn’t work.

Speaking of Auburn I see the services of former offensive line coach Hugh Nail are not wanted in college football. Hugh has taken a job with a trucking company. RTR good buddy! I’ll stop by later today and exchange some crystal meth for a hooker.

Congrats to Urban Meyer’s daughter, Nicki on receiving a scholarship from Ga. Tech. Here’s a piece from the Rivals write-up:

“Always being the new kid, Nicki often was asked to switch positions to fill whatever holes were left open.”

Well…alrighty then…

RTR Bitches!

Posted in Auburn, Bama Bangs, Bammers, Fail, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Nick Saban, SEC, SEC Football, Urban Meyer | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Something Tells Me that Iowa State Fans will be Rejoicing

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 15, 2008

Before I begin I feel the AD of my beloved VOLS, Mike Hamilton, needs to publicly thank Auburn for making the hiring of Lane Kiffin look brilliant.

Gene Chizik will be introduced later today as Auburn’s new head football coach as soon as that is done Iowa State fans will rejoice because they have a chance to hire a coach that can win more than 5 games in a two year span.

I seriously question this hire by Auburn and I’m not the only one. Below are comments taken from different Auburn message boards.

“Is this a fucking joke? I’m never going to another game!”

“Fire AD Jacobs!”

And Kevin Scarbinsky had some comments about Chizik as well.

One former SEC assistant heard the news and laughed out loud.

One former Auburn assistant who worked alongside Chizik reacted with stunned silence.

One college football insider who knows both the current Alabama boss and the man Auburn has chosen to battle him said Chizik is a good coach – but Nick Saban will eat him for breakfast.

I can fully understand all of these comments. Iowa State, who Chizik is leaving is in a current 10 game losing streak and among all 119 Division I FBS teams, the team ranked 111th in total defense, 115th in passing defense, and 95th in rushing defense.

ISU athletic director Jamie Pollard stated in a press release:

“I’m disappointed for our Iowa State fans and student-athletes that he has chosen to leave our program after only two seasons. I understand that (Auburn) is a dream job for him, but the timing and the way it played out has been hurtful and disappointing.”

Yeah right…that’s the PC way of saying “Woo Hoo now we don’t have to pay a buyout!”

“I know that we have found the right fit for Auburn,” Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs said in a statement, describing Chizik as “a high-energy coach that is an outstanding motivator and demands a tough, physical style of football.”

Bob Lowder is the Auburn booster that runs the program (the AD is his hand puppet). All I can say is that Lowder’s hatred of Tuberville must be exponentially greater than his love for Auburn. This is a serious downgrade from Tuberville. I think this will keep them in the bottom half of the West. Bama, LSU, and Ole Miss will stay above them. With the improvement at the end of the year at Arkansas, Auburn could be battling Miss State for the cellar the next few years. If I were an Auburn season ticket holder, I wouldn’t renew. I don’t even have a dog in this fight, and I’m irked at a bad hire in the SEC.

Here’s a video of  Auburn fans heckling Jacobs over the Chizik hire…not a pleasant site but a funny one. From this day forward I’m calling Chizik, “Mean Gene the Losing Machine”, that’s right I’ve tagged it.

Posted in Auburn, Big Twelve Football, Gene Chizik, Iowa State Cyclones, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Du(n)ce Staley shows ignorance while lambasting David Reaves

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 10, 2008

Du(n)ce Staley, I’m sure you have heard the name before. He is a former Gamecock and a failure of the NFL. Hey when you’re a third string back and the team you are playing for promotes some mope from the practice squad to starter when the first two backs are injured, you’re a failure. He now is a radio host of a local radio call-in show called  The Halftime Show, here in Columbia, SC.

The reason I’m bashing Du(n)ce is because of his non-stop whining about the newly hired recruiting coordinator David Reaves. For those that don’t know Reeves is Kiffin’s brother-in-law so when Kiffin was hired as head football coach at Tennessee he naturally offered Reaves a job. Before Reaves was hired at Tennessee he was the recruiting coordinator for the USC Gamecocks. Are we clear on that? Good.

Since that hiring has occurred there has been a lot of bashing by people like Du(n)ce and of course Gamecock fans.

Du(n)ce went on a seven minute tirade about Reaves’ leaving and accused Reaves of illegal recruiting and “turning his back on Steve Spurrier who treated him like a son” and so forth. Of course all the things Du(n)ce repeated were here-say taken from blogs with no actual proof. Du(n)ce then demanded that the shows producer Michael Haney call Reaves to get him on the phone live and on air so he can answer for these misgivings.

Michael Haney is the one in long sleeves, Jay Philips is the one that resembles a gay Mr. Spock and of course Du(n)ce is in the middle.

Well surprisingly Reaves did chat with Du(n)ce, live and on air and you can listen to phone conversation right here. In fact I implore you to listen to it before you continue reading.

Now going back to that conversation Reaves answers all of Du(n)ce’s questions with logical answers. Of course since Du(n)ce is so the man he claims to be I want to know why his comments after the phone call with Reaves aren’t available.

Du(n)ce claimed that Reaves was lying of course that doesn’t get published on the site so Reaves will not know. Du(n)ce also back traced when some Gamecock fans called in and told Du(n)ce to let it go and get over it. Du(n)ce then claimed he wasn’t questioning the recruiting tactics but instead he was upset that Reaves (supposedly) burned bridges with the coach. Of course that does not get on that joke of website either.

Du(n)ce, Reaves told you he had spoken to Spurrier about this why don’t you confirm this before shooting off your trap? Oh I know why, it’s because you don’t have the access to the Old Ball (Sac) Coach that you claim to right?

Here’s a better idea Du(n)ce why not let Spurrier handle his own business instead of making an ass out yourself on a regular basis?

One thing when dealing with Du(n)ce if you don’t agree with him or his stance 100% he always says things like “Did you play in the NFL?” or in this case he told a Gamecock fan “Have you ever been a part of the recruiting process, because I have so don’t tell me about it.” Nice listener relation skills Du(n)ce. If you ever wonder why you’re not on some national radio show or TV analysis, try listening to yourself and the asinine comments you make.

And yes I’m e-mailing a copy of this to Du(n)ce it won’t be the first or last time we have butted heads in the past.

Posted in David Reeves, Duce Staley, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Lane Kiffin, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

You ain’t getting rid of Fulmer that easily

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 9, 2008

Pic used courtesy of Losers With Socks

Pic used courtesy of Losers With Socks

So you think can force Fulmer into “resigning” and that will be that, but I’m here to tell you that it’s not as easy as you think. The former head coach and once great field general is back at UT as “special assistant to the president.”

He will be serving a three month stint for a penitence of $12,500 a month and he will continue to receive full-time employee benefits.

In all honesty I believe this is a good thing as long he doesn’t look over King Kiffin’s shoulder during this time. He will be a wonderful spokesperson for the university and do a great job. Plus this gives me a chance to use some farks that I never found the time to use before.

“Phillip Fulmer is a UT icon and a wonderful ambassador,” said university president John Petersen in a UT release. “Over his long career with the university he has developed a vast network of contacts, made invaluable relationships with alumni and UT supporters, and done extensive work with development. I look forward to having him assist with further developing and enhancing strategic relationships for the University,”

Can we say help with recruiting? I thought so! Fulmer’s stint in this new position is scheduled to end on February 28, which of course is after national signing day.

“”I am not yet certain what the future holds for my career, but I’ll always support my alma mater, and I appreciate the opportunity to help the University out now,” Fulmer said, in the release.”

The position was outlined in an offer letter accepted by Fulmer and it might include things such as donkey punching the AD Mike Hamilton and ogling King Kiffin’s wife, Layla, the lucky bastard.

I just wonder if this new position has a buy out….

Posted in Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, Mike Hamilton, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Something just isn’t quite right with the Tuberville departure from Auburn

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 5, 2008

Is something amiss on the plains of Auburn? After what seemed to be a never ending speculation on whether Tommy T would be fired we found out he “resigned.”

By most accounts this seems to be true. Auburn’s AD states he was “shocked” that Tubby resigned. Of course maybe after seeing what happened to Fulmer, Tubby took the high road.

If Tubby didn’t have the support from the Board of Trustees………he probably didn’t have it from the AD either, but that is only my opinion.

Of course Tubby’s mama is telling a newspaper that “He didn’t resign. He was fired.”

“He didn’t resign,” Olive Tuberville said. “He was fired.”

“He called and told me,” she said. “He made it through (the phone call to her) pretty good. He was dreading telling the players .This went on too long. They had their minds made up days ago, I imagine. It was tough. He didn’t know what to expect. All of his friends have stayed with him.”

For some strange reason I find this more factual. Let’s say Tubby did resign, one would think he would tell his assistant coaches ahead of time. At the time this all took place his assistants were out hitting the recruiting trails.

A couple of the assistant’s spouses were so enraged that they called a local sports show to vent publicly.  You can listen to the calls here.

Donna Dunn who is the spouse of the then D-line coach Don Dunn said her husband found out by a recruits coach when he was visiting him. She also states that her son, who is a student at Auburn, found out when a classmate interrupted a presentation he was giving to tell him his dad was unemployed.

That kid gets an A+ for his how-to presentation “On Being a Huge Asshole”

Amy Enzminger, the spouse of offensive coordinator Steve Enzminger, states he found out while out recruiting in Maryland. She also accuses Nick Satan I mean Saban of buying players. Well, duh everyone knows that. She also brings up Bobby Lowder, the Auburn trustee who got the president of the university fired in 2001 and tried to hire Bobby Petrino behind Tuberville’s back in 2003. Of course as everyone knows Auburn went 13-0 the following and was denied a shot at the National Championship.

Either it’s an interesting situation. You should listen to the calls. They’ll crack you up.

As far as the fark, Tommy Tuberville is a very good dancer. You ever see Tommy
Tuberville dancing? Tommy Tuberville is very tall. That helps. It makes him…lankier.

Posted in Auburn, Bobby Petrino, Nick Saban, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tommy Tuberville | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »