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Archive for the ‘South Carolina Gamecocks’ Category

It’s summer in South Carolina time for the arrests to start happening

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 26, 2009

Well I certainly hoped you enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend I know I certainly did. I believe that there is one South Carolina recruit and one current football South Carolina player that did not enjoy this past weekend.

First up is the highly touted running back recruit Ben Axon. Axon originally committed to Clemson also had offers from F$U, West Virginia and Purdue.

Axon should be making plans to report to South Carolina in June like all the other freshmen football players but I have a feeling he will be held up for awhile. The Manatee (Florida) Po Po pulled over a car that had the odor the sweet sticky icky weed radiating from the backseat where Axon and the 23 bags of marijuana that he was “holding” was. Call it a tribute to Michael Phelps.

Axon has been released on bail but whether he will have a chance to graduate with his class on May 30th or even the scholarship offer from Steve God Spurrier is still good is right now up in the air. Knowing Spurrier’s past history of discipline I’m sure it is.

Speaking of discipline let’s move on to current South Carolina cornerback C.C. Whitlock. He was just reinstated after the sophomore missed most of spring practice while under academic suspension.

This past weekend Whitlock was arrested for trespassing after him and a few friends refused to leave a club after the owner, security personal and deputies ordered him to exit the premises.

Spurrier has suspended Whitlock from the team for now. Whitlock was one of five players who brawled with non-students in September during a fracas at the food court of the Russell House.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Discipline, Marijuana, Po Po, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The question is: Did it taste like chicken?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 30, 2009

As I mentioned in an earlier posting, spring is here, the pollen count is up and more South Carolina Gamecocks are being arrested and/or suspended. 

The latest victim…err….perpetrator is fullback Dustyn McElroy. The Po Po says that the 22 year-old was getting his St. Patrick’s drink on at a bar called the Village Idiot in the dreaded Five Points area of Columbia. While there at the Idiot, this moron is involved in an altercation where his Hannibal Lecter shown through and he bit…yes bit another man on the face. 

I have to ask: Did he taste like chicken? I mean really. According to the report, when a man tried to break up the fight, McElroy placed him in a “bear hug” and bit him on the left cheek, causing a “severe facial laceration.” 

Apparently McElroy wasn’t satisfied with the taste of human flesh and then decide to punch & shatter a storefront window of an art gallery that is adjacent to the Village Idiot.

Michael Jeffcoat, McElroy’s attorney, claims McElroy acted in self-defense after seven men jumped him on the sidewalk outside the bar.

“He’d been attacked by seven guys and he just wanted to get away,” Jeffcoat said. “They jumped on him and he didn’t have any choice but to defend himself.”

I have to agree. I know that if I was jumped by numerous people I would have to punch a storefront window. That’s in the Chuck Norris self defense manual. 

This isn’t the first time McElroy has been in trouble with the law, he pleaded guilty in November to a previous charge of assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature, and was sentenced to 18 months probation.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Fights, Five Points, SEC, South Carolina Gamecocks, Taste like chicken, Village Idiot, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Gamecock football player arrested signifies that spring is officially here

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 23, 2009

Toke toke pass

You know it’s been awhile since I’ve had the pleasure of to write anything negative about a Gamecock football player. To be totally honest I was beginning to get worried. I mean spring just isn’t the same around here in Columbia unless you have pollen, thunderstorms in the afternoons and a Gamecock arrest. Luckily for Mother Nature 2 out of 3 ain’t too bad.

Last Tuesday it was announced that defensive tackle Ladi Ajiboye was suspended indefinitely which of course in Steve God Spurrier terms means a couple of practices. It has now been revealed that Ajiboye was arrested in February for being a participant in a drug deal. Somehow the Spurrier regimen somehow kept this hidden from the Gamecock hating liberal media of Columbia. This reason I say that is because all the Gamecock fans complain how only negative things are written about their team.

Within the past two seasons Ajiboye has started in 22 games and is considered a key to the defensive line. Don’t worry Gamecock fans this boy is a producer on the field and you know as well as I do that if the starting QB can key a professor’s car, be arrested multiple times within a year and set of fire extinguishers in the dorms for fun then Ajiboye will be back on the field by next week.

According to the Columbia Po Po, on the February 21st, they witnessed Ajiboye engage in a “hand-to-hand transaction” with another person. Ajiboye at the time was driving Terrence Campbell’s car. Campbell is an offensive lineman for the Gamecocks. Ajiboye just wanted to get his Phelps on!

The Po Po staked out the car and after Campbell like a moron failed to signal for a turn, he was promptly pulled over. There the Po Po found evidence of the sweet sticky icky weed that Ajiboye confessed was his. I will give credit to Ajiboye for manning up there.

“Our narcotic agents witnessed a drug transaction,” sheriff’s department spokesman Chris Cowan said. “They saw him get into the car. They made the stop. He was arrested.”

Campbell, a redshirt junior who started nine games at guard last season, was not charged in the incident.

Never fear Gamecock fans you have Neal “Johnie Cochran Jr.” Lourie. Believe me he could have gotten OJ off the last charges. Then again if Lourie can’t work his magic then there’s always pumping gas.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Po Po, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, USC, bongs, mary jane | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Meet the Michael Phelps pot party participants

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 13, 2009

Yes now that Sheriff Lott is helping to save the word by rounding up party goers that were present during the infamous Michael Phelps bong hit that can mean one thing!


For the record smiling mug shots rule!

You would think that Sheriff Lott would have better thnigs to do. After all according to the Sheriff’s Department website there are 22 unsolved murders since 1996.

Maybe someday Phelps will appear on the Top 10 most wanted. 

As a residence of Richland County, I’m making it my mission to find the blond and nailing her.


Mug shot photographer to guy on right: Ummm, son, could you look at the cam...son, right, don't wander away...and for the last time, I don't have any Funyans!! Ahhh, to hell with it...(click)!


This dude looks like the illegitimate child of Robert Smith, lead singer of the Cure.


The first one looks like a serial killer and the second one will never survive in the pen




Posted in Leon Lott, Marijuana, Michael Phelps, South Carolina Gamecocks, bongs, mary jane | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Fourteen gold medals, banging a USC coed and smoking pot, just one day in the life of Michael Phelps

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 2, 2009

My question is was he smoking Mellow Gold or Spanish Trampoline?

Usually when I write about the University of South Carolina and smoking pot in involves the school’s football players. I have more than once referred to USC as the University of Smoking Cannabis. This time is different. This time I’m not writing about some Shamecock football player, I’m writing about 14 gold medal Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps.

It seems this past November Phelps was in this fair town of Columbia where he attended a football game and apparently got high Even though I’m opposed to illegal drugs and take pleasure in making fun of those who use them this really isn’t as a big of a deal as the traditional media outlets are making it out to be. If you had gigantism of the ears and neck, you’d smoke too. However sometime ago The US Olympics Committee, who have pledged to clamp down on drug use, did announce some laws that could force Phelps to sit out the 2012 games in London because he took drugs.

News of the World, a British newspaper was the first to break this story.

One party-goer who witnessed the star’s behaviour told the News of the World: “He was out of control from the moment he got there.

“If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.


Phelps apparently has been banging some USC chick named Jordan Matthews and decided to get wasted every night he was here in town. The source of the story states Phelps was rather obnoxious. With ears like his how can anyone be obnoxious?

“Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

Our source said: “You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do.

Well it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to smoke dope does it? The source also states Phelps spent a lot of time at Pavlov’s bar. In my humble opinion I think that place is a freaking dump. This isn’t the first time Phelps has been in trouble either. In 2004 he served an 18 month long probation for a DUI.

Since this story has broken Phelps has acknowledge that the photo is real and is sorry.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said in the statement released by one of his agents. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Now we know how he consumed 12,000 calories a day. He’d eat cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Some Hagen-Daz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and he would make some smores. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, two big pizzas, man, everything on ‘em, water, a whole lotta water and…….Funyuns.

It’s always interesting how celebrities show remarkable self-awareness about their mistakes after they get caught … and usually when millions of dollars in endorsements are on the line.

The U.S. Olympic Committee said it was “disappointed in the behavior recently exhibited by Michael Phelps,” who was selected the group’s sportsman of the year. He also was honored as AP male athlete of the year, and his feat in Beijing — breaking Mark Spitz’s 36-year-old record for most gold medals in an Olympics — was chosen as the top story of 2008.

Posted in DUI, Michael Phelps, South Carolina Gamecocks, USC, bongs, drugs, dumbass, mary jane | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

This radio announcer knows how to party

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 14, 2009


Meet Ed Podolak. He is a former Iowa Hawkeye quarterback and running back and a member of the Kansas City Chiefs’ Hall of Fame. Ed has been apart of the Iowa radio broadcast team since 1982.

When the Hawkeyes went to the Outback Bowl to literally ass-rape the South Carolina Gamecocks, Ed decided he was going to party like it was 1999 (Not bad for someone who is 62). As a result some photos of Ed mysteriously (as always) got taken and published on this little thing we refer to as the internet.

Iowa athletic director Gary Barta, was none to happy about this.

“I have had a chance to see them and I am deeply disappointed,” Barta said in a prepared statement. “The pictures do not represent the image and expectations of the University of Iowa We work hard to make sure our student-athletes, coaches and staff understand what we expect of them,” Barta said. “Clearly, we hold them to a high standard. It is important we hold everyone representing the Hawkeyes to a similar standard.

To make matters worse this isn’t the first time Podolak has had alcohol related issues.

“In 1997, Iowa City police charged Podolak with public intoxication and interference with official acts after campus police found him sleeping in the grass on the University of Iowa Pentacrest.

At the time of the arrest, a blood test found he had a blood-alcohol level of 0.23, nearly three times the level at which a person is considered intoxicated under current Iowa law.

Iowa officials said at the time of the 1997 incident that another arrest on similar charges could prompt them to dismiss Podolak from the radio broadcast. Podolak has been doing Hawkeye football broadcasts for more than 25 years.

“It was 11 years ago and I’ve made efforts to make sure that situation wouldn’t happen again,” Podolak said. “I am not sure what else I can say about that.”

Podolak declined to answer specific questions about the woman in the pictures.”

I don’t blame Podolak for not commenting on the woman…she’s uh…how should say this? Homely…yeah that sounds better than fat.

“I don’t want to do anything to damage the university because it is my heart and soul. The love I have for the university is very important to me,” Podolak said. “The proper procedure is for all of us to assess where we are at over the weekend.”

Since the pictures have been released Podolak has decided to “retire”.

Posted in Crazy Women, Iowa Hawkeyes, South Carolina Gamecocks, big ten football, drunk | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Ko Simpson upholds the Gamecock Tradition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 5, 2009

Traditionally the football players for the South Carolina Gamecocks get arrested. Now that Ko Simpson has moved on into the NFL he is still upholding Gamecock tradition by getting arrested and proclaiming he’s worth millions.

Basically Simpson was at a bar where his buddy got collared by the Po Po and he didn’t like it.

“The report says at that point a passenger in the car, 25-year-old Dyann Linen, got out of the car and began yelling at the police, and punched an officer in the back of the head. Linen was arrested for disorderly conduct as well.

Officers say as Linen attempted to kick out the window of the patrol car in which she was being held, 25-year-old Simpson, who was also a passenger in the car, began yelling at officers, saying, “I’m Ko Simpson with the Buffalo Bills, I’m worth millions!” before walking away.”

The last thing I would ever admit to is playing for the Bills.

“However, the report says Simpson soon returned and attempted to get to Hart, who was in police custody. Simpson began screaming at officers again, and was arrested for hindering police activity.”

By the way, Simpson has one-year left on his four-year $2.13 million dollar contract. So millions is a bit of stretch after you figure in cost of living, agent fees and of course bail.

Might as well get it over with: A Simpson who played for the Bills in trouble with the law? No way…

Previous athletes have proved that money will never run out ever. *Sarcasm*

Posted in Buffalo Bills, Crime & Punishment, Ko Simpson, South Carolina Gamecocks | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

YMSWWC’s Awesome F**cking Guide to the 2008 Bowl Season! (With pictures this year)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 18, 2008


This would have been posted earlier but I kinda sorted screwed up and forgot to send Joel the bowl schedule. Yeah, my bad, I’m a dick. Whatever. Anywho let’s go over this year bowl schedule and mine and Joel’s picks and then you call your bookie.

This year there is a smorgasbord of crap-tastic games to choose from! Yay!

Non-BCS Bowls

EagleBank Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN
Where: Washington
Who: Navy vs. Wake Forest

Joel says: Anchors aweigh. I really wish Navy would have beat Notre Dame again this year. Wait, this is a real bowl game???

Thomas says: I pick Navy because I’m sick and damn tired of hearing how the Wake Forest is so good. Blah blah blah. Is this bowl game being funded by any of the bailout money by the way? Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in ACC Football, Air Force, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, BCS, BYU, Big East, Big Twelve Football, Bob Stoops, Boise State, Cal, Charlie Weis, Clemson Tigers, Colorado State, Conference USA, Dabo Swinney, ESPN, East Carolina Pirates, FSU, Florida Atlantic, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fresno State, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hawaii Warriors, Houston Cougars, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Lou Lisp, Memphis Tigers, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Mike Gundy, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, NC State Wolfpack, Navy, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Nevada, Nick Saban, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Oklahoma sooners, Ole Miss, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rutgers, SEC, SEC Football, Satan, South Carolina Gamecocks, South Florida Bulls, Steve Spurrier, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, Troy, Univeristy of Troy, University of California berkeley, University of Southern Cal, Urban Meyer, Vanderbilt Commodores, Virginia Tech, Wake Forest, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football, boston college, mike leach, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, southern cal, southern miss, tOSU, vandy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

South Carolina’s Emanuel Cook ruled too stupid to play in the Outback bowl game

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 18, 2008

Emanuel “Gun Charges” Cook, the talented strong safety and South Carolina’s leading tackler for the past 2 seasons, has been ruled academically ineligible for the Outback Bowl.

Maybe the stupid tag shouldn’t apply here, you see Cook simply quit going to class and while there are academic advisors who take the tests for tutor the “student athletes” and report any problems to the Ole Ball (Sac) Coach (wink wink nudge nudge), apparently someone failed to do so in this case, or God Spurrier simply chose to ignore it. After all this is the same coach that whined because some of his recruits were too stupid to even gain admission at one time.

Several of the Gamecock faithful are questioning just how long as this gone on. Mainly because of the comments Spurrier made regarding this situation with Cook.

“It’s disappointing that he did not think of his teammates or his university. It’s not hard to pass six hours. But he didn’t put much effort in, it appears. And that’s why he’s not playing. And it appears, right now, he’s played his last game.

He tossed it in midway through (the semester) from what I understand,” Spurrier said.

He had 6 SEMESTER HOURS to pass? Six? That’s all? Why that’s only around 2 flipping hours a week. My question is if this has been happening since the middle of the semester then how in the hell was he playing? At least Fulmer and other coaches suspend players for a game or two when they don’t go to class. Oh wait…that’s because they also seem to find out when their players fail to meet the standards regarding class attendance. Apparently Spurrier can’t say that same.

Another question I have is how long until E Cook’s gun falls out of the waistband of his sweatpants and fires a bullet into his leg?

Update 12/19/08

Apparently Cook isn’t the only stupid player, offensive lineman Kyle Nunn could not pass the pathetic 6 semester hours and the academic status of Dustin Lindsey, who actually flunked out completely once before three years ago, awaits a word on his academic appeal. In other words he re-colored his picture and kept within the lines this time.


Posted in Emanuel Cook, Gamecocks, Old Ball Sack Coach, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Du(n)ce Staley shows ignorance while lambasting David Reaves

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 10, 2008

Du(n)ce Staley, I’m sure you have heard the name before. He is a former Gamecock and a failure of the NFL. Hey when you’re a third string back and the team you are playing for promotes some mope from the practice squad to starter when the first two backs are injured, you’re a failure. He now is a radio host of a local radio call-in show called  The Halftime Show, here in Columbia, SC.

The reason I’m bashing Du(n)ce is because of his non-stop whining about the newly hired recruiting coordinator David Reaves. For those that don’t know Reeves is Kiffin’s brother-in-law so when Kiffin was hired as head football coach at Tennessee he naturally offered Reaves a job. Before Reaves was hired at Tennessee he was the recruiting coordinator for the USC Gamecocks. Are we clear on that? Good.

Since that hiring has occurred there has been a lot of bashing by people like Du(n)ce and of course Gamecock fans.

Du(n)ce went on a seven minute tirade about Reaves’ leaving and accused Reaves of illegal recruiting and “turning his back on Steve Spurrier who treated him like a son” and so forth. Of course all the things Du(n)ce repeated were here-say taken from blogs with no actual proof. Du(n)ce then demanded that the shows producer Michael Haney call Reaves to get him on the phone live and on air so he can answer for these misgivings.

Michael Haney is the one in long sleeves, Jay Philips is the one that resembles a gay Mr. Spock and of course Du(n)ce is in the middle.

Well surprisingly Reaves did chat with Du(n)ce, live and on air and you can listen to phone conversation right here. In fact I implore you to listen to it before you continue reading.

Now going back to that conversation Reaves answers all of Du(n)ce’s questions with logical answers. Of course since Du(n)ce is so the man he claims to be I want to know why his comments after the phone call with Reaves aren’t available.

Du(n)ce claimed that Reaves was lying of course that doesn’t get published on the site so Reaves will not know. Du(n)ce also back traced when some Gamecock fans called in and told Du(n)ce to let it go and get over it. Du(n)ce then claimed he wasn’t questioning the recruiting tactics but instead he was upset that Reaves (supposedly) burned bridges with the coach. Of course that does not get on that joke of website either.

Du(n)ce, Reaves told you he had spoken to Spurrier about this why don’t you confirm this before shooting off your trap? Oh I know why, it’s because you don’t have the access to the Old Ball (Sac) Coach that you claim to right?

Here’s a better idea Du(n)ce why not let Spurrier handle his own business instead of making an ass out yourself on a regular basis?

One thing when dealing with Du(n)ce if you don’t agree with him or his stance 100% he always says things like “Did you play in the NFL?” or in this case he told a Gamecock fan “Have you ever been a part of the recruiting process, because I have so don’t tell me about it.” Nice listener relation skills Du(n)ce. If you ever wonder why you’re not on some national radio show or TV analysis, try listening to yourself and the asinine comments you make.

And yes I’m e-mailing a copy of this to Du(n)ce it won’t be the first or last time we have butted heads in the past.

Posted in David Reeves, Duce Staley, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Lane Kiffin, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »