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Archive for the ‘West Virginia Mountaineers’ Category

Hells Yeah!!! The SEC rulez in this Top 20 poll as well!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

We all know the SEC generally dominates the football polls this year; well they also dominate the Princeton Review list of top party schools in the country!!!

Let’s break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn’t look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona State Sundevils, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Colorado Buffalos, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerrell Powe, Rocky Top, SEC, Texas Longhorns, Uga, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, Zooker, alcoholics, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.

Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, Ole Miss, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, WTF, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, conVick, new york yankees, ole miss rebels, satire, white trash, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Little Known Features of EA Sports NCAA 2009 Football

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 15, 2008

Find your overrated school cover here

Well well well…today is the day that EA sports NCAA 2009 is released. There are many new features that aren’t gathering the attention they deserve, let’s go over some.

When you’re playing as Tennessee the more you lose the more stress is placed on the Great Battle Captain Phil Fulmer thus resulting in weight loss. Go for the male swimsuit model look! There’s also a special code that allows to take a virtual tour of Knoxville via police ride-a-longs. Sweet!

If you’re playing as Ohio State & make it to the BCS championship game but you’re paired against a SEC team…go ahead and press reset, you’ve automatically lost. Another note when you’re playing as Ohio State you can bypass playing Michigan game, you’ll win it every time so why waste your time.

There’s a secret Jimmy Johns mode when playing as Alabama where you can snort some of the end zone chalk.

While playing as Michigan if any opposing team makes fun of the fact you lost to Appy State you’re allowed to kick their mascot.

If you’re playing as Penn State and Joe Pa breaks his leg you can have him shot & put him out of his misery.

If you’re playing as Oklahoma and make it to a BCS bowl game just press reset you can’t win.

If you lose a game while playing as South Carolina you’re allowed to try and decapitate the opposing coach with Spurrier’s visor.

If you defeat Texas for the national championship you can kill and grill Bevo the Texas mascot or Matthew Mcconaughey your choice.

While playing as Alabama, Florida or South Carolina you’re allowed to comment crimes as players and then bail them out, supply them a lawyer and attend the trials as a spectator. There are also special codes of all three schools that allow you to use bongs, guns and stolen merchandise as “recruiting tools”.

While playing as Georgia you can have Uga defecate on any opposing coach’s shoe.

While playing against Michigan you can have the INS arrest and detain Rich Rodriguez for not having a green card on his person at the time.

If you lose to Louisiana-Monroe while playing as Alabama, you can send EA Sports a screen shot of the final score and they will ship you a loaded gun to kill yourself with, because no one should lose to them in real life much less during a freaking video game.

While playing as West Virginia you have a secret weapon in using the enormously ugly chicks as cheerleaders like the Angry Err posted here at LWS.

When playing as Ole Miss you can send dirty and obscene text messages to blond female members of press. Much like Houston Nutt did while at Arkansas.

When playing against Auburn at Auburn you have a brief window of opportunity to shoot down the eagle mascot in mid flight.

Speaking of Arkansas when you’re in coach mode you can up and quit without notice.

While playing as LSU, the more you win the bigger Les Miles’ hat gets.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Appalachian State, Arkansas Razorbacks, BCS, Bama Sucks, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Georgia Bulldogs, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, LSU Tigers, Les Miles, Michigan Wolverines, Oklahoma sooners, Penn State Nittany Lions, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, Texas Longhorns, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football, ole miss rebels | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Rich Rodriguez…Quitter…

Posted by Joel on July 10, 2008

Rich,

What the hell happened??? A settlement??? Are you kidding me??? What were you thinking??? You were supposed to stick it to the man, and instead you said that you give up.

I know, I know, Michigan forced it. Sure, they are footing the bill (which you created). I know, your new job bailed your maize and blue bottom out of the sizzling flames. It must be nice for Michigan to pull $3 million out of it’s war chest to cover you. Ironic, the new athletic facilities you were bitching and moaning about because they were non-existent, are now about to go full steam ahead thanks to you bolting for Michigan.

So now what??? How could you honestly look a kid in the eye and expect them to keep running gassers when they have nothing left??? You gave up. Some may say good for you leaving West Virginia. That is a question for another time. The issue at hand is that you quit WVU, created nuclear winter on your way out, got your new employer to pay your old employer, and in a few years you will probably leave again for the B.C. Lions of the Canadian Football League.

Honestly, you are no better than Nick Saban, your favorite fellow West Virginian. And like St. Nick, you will be lucky to go to a bowl game this year. Hooray, Michigan fans, the Scratch n’ Sniff.Com Bowl in Butte, Montana await you. And all for the low, low price of $36 million over the next 4 years. On top of it all, you managed to make West Virginia University something that Kinko’s bought MBA degrees couldn’t do. You made them look smart.

Of course, if you had Paul Rhoades, former defensive coordinator of Pitt, as your lawyer, you could have easily stopped the Mountaineers (13-9)…

Posted in Ass Whipping, BCS, Big East, Bill Stewart, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, Football Poll, Lloyd Carr, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, NCAA, Sports, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, big 10, big ten, big ten football, boo birds, boosters, dumbass, football | Leave a Comment »

Chris Henry is Broke & it is Your Problem Cincinnati

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 9, 2008

Chris Henry has made 2.5 million since 2005 as a member of the Cincinnati Thugs Bengalis yet the boy is so broke that Michael Vick looks like Bill Gates compared to him. Guess what fair citizens of Cincinnati it’s your problem because Henry wants taxpayers to pay for a trial record.

“He’s broke,” said Perry Ancona, the former player’s attorney. “He doesn’t have any money to pay for a transcript.”

And that comment cost the taxpayers of Cincinnati at least fifty big ones.

Ancona filed a motion asking for taxpayers, you know the people who actually work, to pay for a written transcript of Henry’s trial. Henry was arrested after a March 31 incident and charged with criminal damaging and assault.

A judge threw out the criminal damaging charge, saying Cincinnati prosecutors couldn’t prove the allegation. A mistrial was declared last week on the assault charge when jurors couldn’t come to a unanimous verdict. Jurors said they voted 6-2 to acquit Henry.

But prosecutors said Tuesday they would retry Henry on the misdemeanor assault charge.

Henry’s trial was set for Monday.

Henry, a wide receiver drafted in the third round out of WVU, signed a five-year contract for about $6 million. The contract included annual salaries plus playing-time and other incentives.

He received another $1 million to sign plus an average of just over $500,000 for the first three years. He was to be paid $520,000 this year by the team but the team released him after his arrest.

But Ancona claims Henry is as destitute as the Bengalis defense was last year.

“He has no funds whatsoever and can’t even meet his current obligations,” Ancona told the judge.

Don’t worry though, Jerry Jones will sign him. That way he can have the top 2 convicts in the league on each side of the ball. (Pacman Jones) Anyone notice both of them went to the same school?

Henry’s $360,000 Florence house – he bought it in 2005 during his rookie year – was auctioned in May when he failed to pay the mortgage. How the hell we missed that story here I’ll never know.

Henry’s SUV was repossessed last month while he was in court, which was a lot. Damn it Joel you let that one slip by me as well? Ugh!

Henry, who is suspended by the National Football League, was arrested after a March 31 incident in Clifton Heights in which he was accused of punching Gregory Meyer, 18, in the head.

Ancona said in court Tuesday that Meyer tried to “shake down” Henry by asking for $100,000 to make the charges go away.

The assault charge against Henry carries a maximum sentence of 180 days in jail.

Henry wants to continue a professional football career and needs to be acquitted to do that.

However I think he could work at the McDonalds or he could sell pot, seeing as he has a history around it.

Chris, your “friends” aren’t helping you out?
You know, all those people who helped drink your liquor?
Unemployment benefits?
Pretend to be a gas pump?
Pathetic.

Posted in Broke Ass, Chris Henry, Cincinnati Bengals, Crime & Punishment, NFL, NFL Football, Pacman Jones, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

WVU Safety Takes a Step to Enrolling in a SEC School

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 4, 2008

You know it’s been awhile since either Joel or myself have picked on written about West Virginia University. For the most part things have been rather quiet on the Mountaineer home front. Unfortunately for WVU fans and fortunately for us that didn’t last long.

Charles Pugh, 6-foot, 200-pound senior from Orlando, Fla., has played in 37 games during his career and has 60 tackles and three sacks. He is considered one of the most most experienced safeties heading into the 2008 season.

Pugh possibly might have his eyes set on the SEC. At least in the crime department.

Coach Bill Stewart is awaiting a police report that is expected to implicate safety Charles Pugh in the theft of a credit card from a car that was parked at the university and its use in fraudulent purchases, such as the Sports Illustrated SEC preview AKA: masturbation material for Pugh.

Pugh and an unidentified woman allegedly found a set of car keys at the university’s student union center last Tuesday and used the remote control “panic button” on the keychain to locate the car in a parking lot, which is a clear old school criminal mindset. There, they allegedly took the credit card and other items, then used the card at several locations. Which is WVU brilliant. I mean it’s not like the Po Po can track the usage of credit cards.

As of Monday afternoon there had been no arrests made, but Stewart had been made aware that an investigation was ongoing and was attempting to learn more. Stewart was unavailable for comment Monday night. Which basically means he rearranging the line up cause Pugh will most likely be in hot water by the time the season starts if he is on the team at all.

Stewart should be wondering if he is going to be able to field enough defensive backs to run the vaulted 3-3-5 defense this year. Wait…it didn’t really work last year…strike that thought, it didn’t matter.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Big East, Bill Stewart, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, dumbass | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Rich Rodriguez Wanted the Hell Out of There

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 25, 2008

The never ending saga of Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez verses WVU has taken yet another twist.

According to documents obtained by West Virginia University’s attorneys, the anti-hero coach contacted Michigan before school officials approached him in December.

Buy eggnog

Buy stripper like spouse more Lee Press on Nails

Contact Michigan in hopes of landing job so I can escape this hell

A representative of Rodriguez’s contacted Michigan on Dec. 11, WVU attorney Jeffrey Wakefield said on Wednesday. The contact occurred three days before Rodriguez met with U-M president Mary Sue Coleman and athletic director Bill Martin in Toledo to interview for the position.

Michigan athletic director Bill Martin declined to comment through a U-M spokesman.

Depositions are continuing in the case, Wakefield confirmed. West Virginia athletic director Ed Pastilong was deposed last Friday and Rodriguez was deposed on Monday. Though no further depositions have been scheduled, Wakefield said they would like to speak with Rodriguez’s wife, Rita.

Wakefield must want a lap dance “for old times sake”.

Click to view some serious Lee Press on Nails

Posted in Coach Rich Rodriguez, Conspiracy Theory, Dirty Sanchez, Michigan Wolverines, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, big ten football, divorce court | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Uh Oh, Pacman Is “Gon Make It Rain”

Posted by Joel on March 25, 2008

pacmanparty.jpg

So Pacman just went on Michael Irvin’s show today saying how he needed to watch who he hangs out with, and now this. Pacman, along with his trusty sidekick “Spoaty” are having a sockhop in “da ATL” on Sunday. So if anyone is in the Atlanta area on Sunday and need some way to kill off a Sunday night, here ya go. Ladies get in free and Grey Goose is on the house. I guess this means that Dana Jacobsen won’t be there since she’s a Belvedere chick. Don’t worry, they can afford all of the free Grey Goose because they got the flyers printed at Cheap Ass Flyers…

0124jacobson.jpg

Posted in Ass Whipping, Big East, Crazy Women, DUI, Dead Drunk, Discipline, ESPN, Hip Hop, Jerry Jones, Liar, Little Bitch, Marijuana, NFL, NFL Football, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Spoaty, Sports, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, alcoholics, ass chewing, bongs, boo birds, classless, court tv, crazy, draft pick, drugs, dumbass, football, guilty, ho, legal troubles, mary jane, moron, stupid | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Day One is Done Here are the Winners & Losers.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 20, 2008

Xavier avoids being the fifth team in row to be upset by the Dawgs of Georgia. Rallying from being down 11 points the Musketeers win by 12. Georgia simply didn’t have the depth they needed. Look for this Xavier to go far into the tourney.Kansas thumps Portland State by 24. Gee…who didn’t see that coming?

Temple returns to the tourney only to disappoint Bill Cosby and the Jello Pudding Pop nation by losing to the Michael Moores Spartans of Michigan State.

UNLV wallops Kent State. Funny all I’ve heard for the past week was how Kent State was a mid major sleeper team.

Pitt continues its winning ways by whipping Oral Roberts by 19. Look for Pitt to go a little further in the tourney.

Purdue defeats Murder Inc. I mean Baylor and quite handily at that.

The Irish of Notre Dame defeated George Mason by 18. I doubt their football team could beat George Mason though.

Wisconsin shows why they belong by beating an up tempo Cal State Fullerton team is ease.

West Virginia defeated an Arizona team that by most accounts shouldn’t have been there.

UCLA who I’m picking to win it all embarrassed Mississippi Valley State. Like MVS had a prayer without Jerry Rice there.

Stanford beat up on the smartie pants of Cornell.

K-State defeats USC which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m still shocked that USC received such a high seed. Look for Beasley and company to advance next round as well.

Belmont must have Joel’s post about them because Duke was almost exited early by a nobody for the second straight year.

Washington State flexed some muscle and grounded the Eagles of Winthrop by 31.

Texas A&M defeated BYU in perhaps the least interesting game of the year. Zzzzzzzz

And lastly Kentucky’s failboat the USS One and Done has set sail thanks to Marquette. Boy I’m willing to bet some SEC coaches are regretting voting Billy G. for co-coach of the year. I’m sure Ashley Judd will give him a tongue lashing, hopefully he’ll be sober enough to remember it. Then again why was KY even in the tournament to begin with?


I wonder if Billy G. is going down with the ship?

Posted in Arizona Wildcats, BYU, Baylor Bears, Belmont, Billy Gillispie, Cal State, Cornell, Duke Blue Devils, George Mason, Georgia Bulldogs, K-State, Kansas State Wildcats, Kent State, Marquette, Michigan State Spartons, Miss Valley State, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oral Roberts, Pitt Panthers, Purdue, Stanford, Temple, Texas A&M, UNLV, USC, University of Southern Cal, WVU, Washington State, West Virginia Mountaineers, Winthrop, Wisconsin Badgers, Xavier, kansas jayhawks | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

What Do You Do, Coach Stew???

Posted by Joel on March 14, 2008

461753.jpg

Well what a banner day for West Virginia University. Freshman sensation Noel Devine, along with his 3 henchmen, were (finally) arrested for the Feb. 13 incident outside of Club Z. Apparently Devine took time out of his busy schedule of doing the Superman while at the club and started a little static. The 4 future brain surgeons have been charged with battery, and have pleaded no contest.

Now, this puts our new favorite undefeated coach Bill Stewart in an interesting conundrum. Earlier, he suspended 3 players for drug possession. A certain someone thought that Stewart would be up the creek when/if his star player was arrested. Well guess what has happened…

What does Stewart do??? Does he a) kick his star RB off the team and continue the precedent that he has set, b) tell the Mountaineer clan to wait until the legal process has been done (keeping in mind that he didn’t do that during the first incident, but could be spun as “I overreacted”) or, c) only suspend Devine and the Crew for spring practice, and still keep them fresh for the upcoming year???

Well if Stewart were an SEC coach, he would put Devine on “Double Super Secret Probation”, or take an approach similar to Thomas’ favorite coach, Steve Superior. There is also the ‘Bama approach where the charges “mysteriously” are dropped. How about police ride alongs, Fulmer style??? Whichever he decides will determine the course of the Mountaineer football season. None of this will matter much anyway, considering Jim Leavitt and the USF Bulls treat ‘Eers like their own personal chew toy. (Thanks Thomas. The one day this week I write and you beat me to the punch).

Oh, nothing major on the WVU v. Rodriguez case, but I did happen to stumble across this tasty morsel of news: The school is now getting sued, no less than by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the most trusted source of Mountaineer news. The school has not been entirely cooperative when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (see Nutt, Houston). This goes back to the newspaper’s investigation into whether Gov. Manchin’s daughter actually earned her MBA, as the school’s records were “imcomplete”. Seems as though certain records, such as phone logs, e-mails, and other information has either been withheld or redacted from the newspaper. Now I am no lawyer (maybe LawVol can offer up some more details without going too much in boring detail speak), but I know enough about the FOIA that public records must be turned over in a timely manner, except those not required by law. Also keep in mind that school Mike Garrison is himself a lawyer by trade, and should be well-versed on such legalities. Maybe their legal department has been so busy trying to collect a check from Rodriguez that they didn’t think that they themselves could get sued. Isn’t it a great day to be a Mountaineer??? What is that I see??? I think those are the outstretched arms of the God of Mediocrityland, welcoming WVU back and sitting them next to Syracuse. How special…

Posted in Coker, College Football, Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Scams, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Steve Spurrier, Superman, Syacuse, USA Today, USC, USF, University of South Florida, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, retarded, road rage, satire, scandal, stupid, suicide, team spirit, trailer trash, ugly wives, whiners | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »