Archive for the ‘WVU’ Category
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 4, 2008
You know it’s been awhile since either Joel or myself have picked on written about West Virginia University. For the most part things have been rather quiet on the Mountaineer home front. Unfortunately for WVU fans and fortunately for us that didn’t last long.
Charles Pugh, 6-foot, 200-pound senior from Orlando, Fla., has played in 37 games during his career and has 60 tackles and three sacks. He is considered one of the most most experienced safeties heading into the 2008 season.
Pugh possibly might have his eyes set on the SEC. At least in the crime department.
Coach Bill Stewart is awaiting a police report that is expected to implicate safety Charles Pugh in the theft of a credit card from a car that was parked at the university and its use in fraudulent purchases, such as the Sports Illustrated SEC preview AKA: masturbation material for Pugh.
Pugh and an unidentified woman allegedly found a set of car keys at the university’s student union center last Tuesday and used the remote control “panic button” on the keychain to locate the car in a parking lot, which is a clear old school criminal mindset. There, they allegedly took the credit card and other items, then used the card at several locations. Which is WVU brilliant. I mean it’s not like the Po Po can track the usage of credit cards.
As of Monday afternoon there had been no arrests made, but Stewart had been made aware that an investigation was ongoing and was attempting to learn more. Stewart was unavailable for comment Monday night. Which basically means he rearranging the line up cause Pugh will most likely be in hot water by the time the season starts if he is on the team at all.
Stewart should be wondering if he is going to be able to field enough defensive backs to run the vaulted 3-3-5 defense this year. Wait…it didn’t really work last year…strike that thought, it didn’t matter.
Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.
Posted in Big East, Bill Stewart, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, dumbass | Tagged: Big East, Bill Stewart, dumbass, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 20, 2008
Xavier avoids being the fifth team in row to be upset by the Dawgs of Georgia. Rallying from being down 11 points the Musketeers win by 12. Georgia simply didn’t have the depth they needed. Look for this Xavier to go far into the tourney.Kansas thumps Portland State by 24. Gee…who didn’t see that coming?
Temple returns to the tourney only to disappoint Bill Cosby and the Jello Pudding Pop nation by losing to the Michael Moores Spartans of Michigan State.
UNLV wallops Kent State. Funny all I’ve heard for the past week was how Kent State was a mid major sleeper team.
Pitt continues its winning ways by whipping Oral Roberts by 19. Look for Pitt to go a little further in the tourney.
Purdue defeats Murder Inc. I mean Baylor and quite handily at that.
The Irish of Notre Dame defeated George Mason by 18. I doubt their football team could beat George Mason though.
Wisconsin shows why they belong by beating an up tempo Cal State Fullerton team is ease.
West Virginia defeated an Arizona team that by most accounts shouldn’t have been there.
UCLA who I’m picking to win it all embarrassed Mississippi Valley State. Like MVS had a prayer without Jerry Rice there.
Stanford beat up on the smartie pants of Cornell.
K-State defeats USC which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m still shocked that USC received such a high seed. Look for Beasley and company to advance next round as well.
Belmont must have Joel’s post about them because Duke was almost exited early by a nobody for the second straight year.
Washington State flexed some muscle and grounded the Eagles of Winthrop by 31.
Texas A&M defeated BYU in perhaps the least interesting game of the year. Zzzzzzzz
And lastly Kentucky’s failboat the USS One and Done has set sail thanks to Marquette. Boy I’m willing to bet some SEC coaches are regretting voting Billy G. for co-coach of the year. I’m sure Ashley Judd will give him a tongue lashing, hopefully he’ll be sober enough to remember it. Then again why was KY even in the tournament to begin with?
I wonder if Billy G. is going down with the ship?
Posted in Arizona Wildcats, BYU, Baylor Bears, Belmont, Billy Gillispie, Cal State, Cornell, Duke Blue Devils, George Mason, Georgia Bulldogs, K-State, Kansas State Wildcats, Kent State, Marquette, Michigan State Spartons, Miss Valley State, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oral Roberts, Pitt Panthers, Purdue, Stanford, Temple, Texas A&M, UNLV, USC, University of Southern Cal, WVU, Washington State, West Virginia Mountaineers, Winthrop, Wisconsin Badgers, Xavier, kansas jayhawks | Tagged: Arizona Wildcats, Baylor Bears, Belmont, Billy Gillispie, BYU, Cal State, Cornell, Duke Blue Devils, George Mason, Georgia Bulldogs, K-State, kansas jayhawks, Kansas State Wildcats, Kent State, Marquette, Michigan State Spartons, Miss Valley State, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Oral Roberts, Pitt Panthers, Purdue, Stanford, Temple, Texas A&M, University of Southern Cal, UNLV, USC, Washington State, West Virginia Mountaineers, Winthrop, Wisconsin Badgers, WVU, Xavier | 1 Comment »
Posted by Joel on March 14, 2008
Well what a banner day for West Virginia University. Freshman sensation Noel Devine, along with his 3 henchmen, were (finally) arrested for the Feb. 13 incident outside of Club Z. Apparently Devine took time out of his busy schedule of doing the Superman while at the club and started a little static. The 4 future brain surgeons have been charged with battery, and have pleaded no contest.
Now, this puts our new favorite undefeated coach Bill Stewart in an interesting conundrum. Earlier, he suspended 3 players for drug possession. A certain someone thought that Stewart would be up the creek when/if his star player was arrested. Well guess what has happened…
What does Stewart do??? Does he a) kick his star RB off the team and continue the precedent that he has set, b) tell the Mountaineer clan to wait until the legal process has been done (keeping in mind that he didn’t do that during the first incident, but could be spun as “I overreacted”) or, c) only suspend Devine and the Crew for spring practice, and still keep them fresh for the upcoming year???
Well if Stewart were an SEC coach, he would put Devine on “Double Super Secret Probation”, or take an approach similar to Thomas’ favorite coach, Steve Superior. There is also the ‘Bama approach where the charges “mysteriously” are dropped. How about police ride alongs, Fulmer style??? Whichever he decides will determine the course of the Mountaineer football season. None of this will matter much anyway, considering Jim Leavitt and the USF Bulls treat ‘Eers like their own personal chew toy. (Thanks Thomas. The one day this week I write and you beat me to the punch).
Oh, nothing major on the WVU v. Rodriguez case, but I did happen to stumble across this tasty morsel of news: The school is now getting sued, no less than by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the most trusted source of Mountaineer news. The school has not been entirely cooperative when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (see Nutt, Houston). This goes back to the newspaper’s investigation into whether Gov. Manchin’s daughter actually earned her MBA, as the school’s records were “imcomplete”. Seems as though certain records, such as phone logs, e-mails, and other information has either been withheld or redacted from the newspaper. Now I am no lawyer (maybe LawVol can offer up some more details without going too much in boring detail speak), but I know enough about the FOIA that public records must be turned over in a timely manner, except those not required by law. Also keep in mind that school Mike Garrison is himself a lawyer by trade, and should be well-versed on such legalities. Maybe their legal department has been so busy trying to collect a check from Rodriguez that they didn’t think that they themselves could get sued. Isn’t it a great day to be a Mountaineer??? What is that I see??? I think those are the outstretched arms of the God of Mediocrityland, welcoming WVU back and sitting them next to Syracuse. How special…
Posted in Coker, College Football, Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Scams, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Steve Spurrier, Superman, Syacuse, USA Today, USC, USF, University of South Florida, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, retarded, road rage, satire, scandal, stupid, suicide, team spirit, trailer trash, ugly wives, whiners | Tagged: Freedom of Information Act, Mike Garrison, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Syracuse Orange | 3 Comments »
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 14, 2008
Good Lord, at least when South Carolina players get into a fight it’s one on one, but that doesn’t seem to be the case with WVU. As I first posted way back on February 20, Noel Devine is the perfect example of class, it seems that him and three other WVU football players pleaded guilty to battery charges. Story 
“West Virginia running back Noel Devine was among four Mountaineers’ football players to plead no contest to misdemeanor battery charges after being arrested Thursday.
Also arrested were defensive back Eain Smith, 19; cornerback Brantwon Bowser, 20; and running back/receiver Jockee Sanders, 19, the Morgantown Police Department said in a news release.
Each player pleaded no contest in Morgantown Municipal Court, the police department said.
Police said the charges stemmed from an altercation outside Club Z in Morgantown on Feb. 16 but did not provide details.”
So much for “We don’t even know for sure if this is true…” comment someone left me on the original posting. Guess what? It’s true!!! But never fear mountaineer fans it already seems that Coach Stewart is still trying to be like an SEC school by taking the “SEC Style” of discipline approach to this matter.
“Discipline with the situation has already been handled within the program,” WVU football coach Bill Stewart said through a spokesman. He said he would have no further comment.
Now I wonder what that would be. We know how well discipline worked on Pac Man Jones. Hopefully Coach Stewart will go the SEC rout on this one, here’s a few ideas on how to punish Devine and the inspiration of the punishment;
- Police ride-a-longs and running inspired by Tennessee
- Suspended from the team for 30 minutes inspired by South Carolina
- Suspended one game except that game will have to be an extremely weak opponent inspired by Florida
- Give up the gold grill to be melted down into a cock ring for the coach inspired by Alabama
- Kicked off the team inspired by Vanderbilt (they don’t win so don’t use this one)
I know make him go to that pathetic Club Z, that place should make an appropriate punishment. Right now in the distance I can hear Richie Rich Rodriguez laughing his ass off but weak discipline will show him.
Posted in Big East, Club Z, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Crime & Punishment, Noel Devine, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, bumrush, dumbass | Tagged: Big East, bumrush, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Crime & Punishment, dumbass, Noel Devine, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | 3 Comments »
Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 20, 2008
No matter what I type here, it will never be as funny as the picture itself
While the assistant coaches at West Rodriguez Virginia University were being handed six figure contracts, someone is alleging that two West Virginia football players, including freshman tailback Noel Devine was handing out a can of hillbilly whoop ass.
“According to a report filed by a Morgantown Police Department officer, Husni M. Sangarie said he and a friend were attacked by Devine, fellow freshman Jock Sanders and perhaps other football players after all of them were kicked out of Club Z.”
Further proof that West Virginia is in last place in a lot areas compared to other states: Club Z. Notice the pathetic music that sounds like it was stolen from an old “after school” special they would run in late 70’s early 80’s. The photo album hasn’t been updated since 2006 and doesn’t work. Typical.
The new savior of WVU, Bill Stewart, isn’t immediately commenting on the situation. Again by not commenting is another poor attempt to try and be like an SEC school. Of course SEC coaches started commenting in the mid 80’s, more proof of WVU being behind the times.
“According to the police report, which was summarized in Tuesday’s edition of the Dominion Post, Sangarie told police that he and friends were inside Club Z when both his group and the group that included Devine and Sanders were told by bouncers to leave the bar after a commotion. Outside the bar, Sangarie said someone hit him in the back of the head.
Sangarie said he fell to the ground and then was kicked and punched by Devine, Sanders and the others in their group. Ryan Lewis, who was with Sangarie, said he was also punched and kicked.”
Noel Devine is (allegedly) performing the “bumrush” with fellow WVU player Sanders. The bumrush is so 80’s. Of course after getting kicked out of Club Z while dancing to Midnight Star’s “Electricity” one can see why they were pissed and acted out their 80’s fueled rage. Rumor has it the Noels’ over sized watch like Flava Flav wears around his neck, was also damaged during this (alleged) incident.
Tell me he’s not that short.
Posted in Club Z, Midnight Star, Noel Devine, WVU, West Virginia Mountaineers, bumrush | Tagged: bumrush, Club Z, Midnight Star, Noel Devine, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | 30 Comments »
Posted by Joel on February 14, 2008
Adam “Pacman” Jones has cleared his last criminal case by agreeing to a plea deal. He is now on probation for the next 3 years, meaning that if he gets in trouble again with the law, he will be locked up. No word from the league office on when and/or if he will get back into the NFL.
Well, I have decided to give you readers a quiz to see just how well you know the former Mountaineer and current Titans CB (for now). Don’t worry, it’s multiple choice.
Question #1: Pacman Jones likes to do the following in his spare time:
A. Smoke weed.
B. Record the worst rap you have heard this side of Kobe Bryant.
C. Frequent strip clubs.
D. All of the above.
Question #2: “Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones has retained the law firm that successfully defended Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis against double murder charges to be Jones’ lead counsel in the matter Monday at the Minxx Gentleman’s Club in Las Vegas.”
Reading the previous passage, one can interpret that:
A. Pacman will become the latest Baltimore Raven.
B. Has an experienced attorney on staff if he wants to do an O.J.
C. Could not afford Rusty Hardin.
D. All of the above.
Question #3: If a dollar bill falls on the strip club floor, and a dancer named runs to grab it before landing, does it make a sound???
A. Depends. Where is Pacman???
B. Depends. Where is Pacman’s entourage???
C. Depends. Where are the garbage bags full of singles???
D. All of the above.
Question #4: The square root of Pacman’s legal docket + the free time that he seems to always have equals:
A. Biting a cop.
B. Drinking in public.
C. Holding out as a rookie for more money.
D. All of the above.
The common denominator is the answer D. D is for “Dumbass Pacman Jones”. Oh, and Pacman said last month that he wants to go to Dallas. The Metroplex has more weed and strip clubs per square mile than Nashville ever will have. Well if Michael Irvin and Nate Newton can survive, maybe Pacman can. Either way, if I don’t see him in a Titans jersey again, I won’t miss him.
Posted in Asphyxiation, Ass Whipping, Big East, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Police, Spoaty, TNA, Tennessee, The Big East, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, bongs, boo birds, cheaters, pot, stupid | Tagged: Tennessee Titans, Titans | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Joel on February 7, 2008
Ah yes West By God Virginia. Apparently, if making the news for fake degrees, suing former football coaches, and, well, being West Virginia was not enough, now the football players are trying to imitate an SEC team. Which SEC team??? I will get to that in a minute…
New Mountaineer coach Bill Stewart has recently announced that LB John Holmes (insert porn joke here), DL James Ingram (no relation to soul singer of the same name), and RB Ed Collington (I got nothing here) are no longer on the team. They will be able to retain their scholarships through the end of the spring semester. These 3 geniuses were pulled over for speeding. When the police opened the car, they detected the smell of the “stickiest of the icky” commonly called in Gainesville Gunja-Aid or in Knoxville known as a Recruiting Tool (which obviously didn’t work due to the crappy signing class). Upon searching the vehicle, baggies of the “green stuff” were found both in the car and in Ingram’s shoe. Wait, it gets better: Ingram told the cops that more weed was located in their apartment. Try not to shake your head so hard.
So of course, thanks to a helpful hint from Deputy Barney Fife, the cops search the apartment and found a lot more drugs and bags. Now, because McGruff the Crime ‘Eer told the cops about the extra weed and baggies, they are facing several more felony charges than they would have been if he had just kept his mouth shut. Either he had a moment of clarity because he knew he was doing wrong, or that weed was so good that he just had to tell the cops in hopes they would buy some. Of course, I wonder where that weed will end up once the trial is over with. Someone should have told these 3 that couches are the thing to burn in Morgantown, not blunts…
Now I know which SEC team that WVU reminds me of, and honestly it only took a few seconds of reflection because well, this is West Virginia we are talking about. The school is Thomas’ favorite whipping boy, the University of South Carolina. Let’s examine a little further. Both the Mountaineers and the Gamecocks have losing all-time bowl records, neither school has won a national championship in football but their in-state rivals (Marshall and Clemson) both have national titles, both fanbases have an over inflated sense of entitlement, and both have had players that have done some of the most head scratching things to get in trouble with the cops that you can think of.
So there you have it. The Mountaineers and the Gamecocks are now 2 kindred spirits. West Virginia can say with pride that even though their athletics department is slightly more organized than Iraq circa 2003, they can say with pride that they are almost at an SEC level. Nothing will stop the ‘Eer and ‘Cock Connection from years of mediocrity and no glory to speak of. Long live ‘Eer and ‘Cock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted in BCS, Big East, Clemson Tigers, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, Crime & Punishment, Dave Wannstedt, Discipline, Gamecocks, Major Harris, Marijuana, NCAA, Old Ball Sack Coach, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Police, SEC, SEC Football, Scams, South Carolina, South Carolina Gamecocks, USC, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, ass chewing, bad drivers, bongs, classless, clemson, court tv, drugs, dumbass, guilty, legal troubles, mary jane, moral victories, moron, mullets, pot, road rage, satire, scandal, stupid, team spirit, whiners, white trash | 9 Comments »
Posted by Joel on January 29, 2008
Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:
Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.
The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.
Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”
What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..
How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???
Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???
Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???
If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…
Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Ass Whipping, Auburn, BCS, Bammers, College Basketball, College Football, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, DAvid Stern, DUI, Dawgs, Dead Drunk, Discipline, ESPN, Ed Orgeron, FBI, FSU, Feds, Fines, Florida, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fulmer, Gamecocks, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Georgia, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, God, Goodell, Herban, Herban Meyer, Houston Nutt, Internet Rumors, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Johnnie Cochran, Judge Judy, Kobe, LSU Tigers, Little Bitch, MLB, Major League Baseball, Marijuana, Michael Vick, Mitchell Report, NBA, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, NRA, NWA, New York Knicks, OJ, OJ Simpson, Ole Miss, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Phillip Fulmer, Po Po, Police, Prison for Vick, Ricky Williams, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Scams, Sports, Stephon Marbury, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Juice, Touchdown Jesus, VIP Connection, Vick, Vick Plea, WVU, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, alcoholics, armed robbery, ass chewing, bad calls, bad drivers, bad newz kennels, baseball, basketball, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, classless, conVick, court tv, crazy, divorce court, dog fighting, drugs, dumbass, fired, football, gambling, guilty, ho, hooker, killer, legal troubles, marcus vick, mary jane, michael vick pleads guilty, mississippi state bulldogs, mobsters, moron, murderer, nickelback sucks, notre dame sucks, ole miss rebels, oliver stone, ookie, pimps, pitbull, pot, refs, repo, riots, satire, scandal, secrets, steroids, stupid, taser, taxes, team spirit, trader, trailer trash, ugly wives, upsets, vols, walk-on, whiners, white trash, whore, zeke | 1 Comment »
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