I’d like to thank Steve, a buddy of mine, who lives in Tampa for the information I’m about to drop. You’ll know it when you read it.

Vandy running back Jermaine Doster was arrested by the Tampa Po Po Friday morning after showing his SEC cellar dwelling ass at a nightclub.

He was picked up on disorderly conduct, criminal mischief and obstructing an officer without violence. He was removed by the Po Po and placed under arrest for failing to cooperate. Then this Mensa giant decided to kick out the windows in the back of the Po Po’s ride.

Maybe they should move him from running back to kicker, seeing that he kicked out a patrol car window.

Now I know what many of you are thinking: “This Doster kid sounds too tough for softies like Vandy, maybe he should be playing to Florida, Georgia or Tennessee.”

Well…if you are thinking that then you’re incorrect. The nightclub he was at is named The Honey Pot.

Here is the low down on The Honey Pot:

The Basics

• Reservations: Accepted
• Dress Code: Clubwear
• Alcohol: Full Bar
• Smoking: Yes
• Bar Style: Gay and Lesbian. Burlesque
• Music Style: Pop and Top 40
• Audience: Adults / 18+

Features

• Atmosphere and Personality: Bar Scene, Bustling, Gay and Lesbian, High Energy, and Trendy
• Private and VIP Rooms: Both available.
• Cleanliness: Up To Par
• Features: VIP
• Worth Noting: Thursday nights are the main straight night at The Honey Pot.
  

Now when I said the new Vandy uniforms appeared gay, I was merely poking fun at an interstate rival. Now I see how right I was….and the sad thing is I didn’t even know it! I wonder if any of these people are Vandy fans. One side note Gators make ugly lesbians.

The Vanderbilt third string team?

Let’s start the weekend off with some linkage to fellow bloggers.

First up Moondog explains how failure and tOSU tend to go hand in hand

The Rogue Cop at Chicken Curse actually answers an e-mail I sent to him. I literally had tears streaming down my face.

The Blue Workhorse has broken the story of Favre signing with the Falcons.

Losers With Socks runs the SEC on the new EA Sports NCAA 09 simulator. See how your team fared.

The Hog Tale is revising the history of Matt Jones.

The resident hottie at The Leaky Brain revels her streaking background.

Matt of The Nasty Boys discusses Radomski & the HGH receipts that could ground the Rocket for good.

The Third Saturday in Blogtober has an exclusive look at what maybe the Tennessee Vols uniforms.

As always Yo Joe at Dreadnaught has the latest Jonathan Lee Riches© lawsuit.

Yes…yes we do!

I was cruising by ESPN and reading about the failures of this years Yankees team and I spot the “Sports Nation” poll. The question was: How will the Yankees fare? The choices are as follows:

• Win the AL East
• Win the AL wild card
• Miss the playoffs
• Finish below .500

Overwhelmingly the nation and the world for that matter pick the Yankees to miss the playoffs with the exception of Alaska & Hawaii. Obviously these two baseball starved states haven’t been paying attention to the performance of the Yank’mees this year. Sad…

You’re Never to Old for Your First Tattoo

Meet “Aunt” Agnes Falls, a 90-year-old Pittsburgh woman, who recently got her first tattoo. It’s not an airbrush or one of those fakes. It’s the real deal. It’s also the ultimate thing to do too prove your fanhood. I have one on left bicep but of the Tennessee Power T of course. Rock on “Aunt” Agnes!

Shot Glass? Jason Giambi Doesn’t Need a Shot Glass

That’s right porn-tache aficionado Jason Giambi refuses to use shot glasses or common sense. What more can you expect from a man who admits to wearing a golden thong on the field?

The University of Hawaii Wants you to be Drunk

The Budweiser bottler in Hawaii is donating one quarter per case of beer sold to help build new athletics facilities. However Budweiser has set a cap their contribution to $100,000. So, based on the price of most things in Hawaii, roughly .00000000001% of the profit per case will be going to education.

And is case you haven’t noticed we’ve added some new links to the blogroll you should check out.

• All Things Vols
• Black Shoe Diaries
• Get the Picture
• Michigan Girls Are Fat
• Rocky Top Talk
• South Eastern Sports Blog
• The Power T

Yes this is a true story.

I was talking to a buddy at work yesterday about the difference between “replica” and “authentic” jerseys. Somehow the conversation veered towards how much would a South Carolina Gamecock jersey sold for. We had a standing bet of somewhere between $1.99 & someone paying you to take it as opposed to the “sale” price of a Tennessee jersey which the cheapest I found was $149.97.

So I typed in “authentic Gamecock football jersey” in the Google search box, without the quotation marks of course. And guess what the first store to pop up is? Gangstyle.com. And yes they are selling them. I wonder if I could order a Gamecock blood sect t-shirt as well.

With all the drug arrests, stabbings and gun charges the players rack up I found it rather fitting. The first store to pop up when you type “authentic Vols football jersey” is Football Jerseys & More.com.

Speaking of the Internet and the Gamecocks, Steve God Spurrier doesn’t take defeat well but he keeps trying. Last season he launched his own website at an astounding rate of $99.95 a year. Of course everyone realized that the athletic department needed to raise bail money someway so nobody questioned the price.

Needless to say the site flopped and within six months it was gone. I wonder if the 6 straight losses helped propel that in any way.

Well lucky for you Gamecock fans the Ole Ball (Sac) Coach is giving it another try, and this time the price seems a little more reasonable at $49.95 per year or $4.95 a month. Of course the other SEC coach’s websites are free…

The site will feature more inside looks at Gamecock football including the arrest and booking process. Plus it features having Spurrier miked up while playing a round of golf & construction updates on the expansion of the team’s crack house training room at Williams-Brice Stadium.

The site will feature a staple of last year’s site: the ‘Ask HB(S)C’ section, where fans type their questions and have them answered by Spurrier.

Imagine the questions that will be asked:

• “Hey coach why didn’t you have the balls to kick Garcia off the team?”
• “Hey coach will you suck against Vandy again?”
• “Hey coach Gangstyle.com refuses to give me a refund. Will you have a player place a cap in their ass for me?”

Compared to paying $99.95 a year and getting to hear the Ole Ball (Sac) Coach wheeze his way through a round of golf, $49.95 might seem like better buy. According to my sources it be easier to navigate but the Gamecocks will still suck on field.

You can go see yourself SpurrierHB(S)C.com.

This moment was classic, it ran in the paper here.

Pics from the ESPY’s:

Well here is a pleasant ESPY awards spoiler for you fellow Vols to chew on.

Candace Parker was selected overall female athlete of the year and female college athlete of the year. She led our beloved Tennessee Vols to a second consecutive NCAA national championship and then went on to become the WNBA’s No. 1 draft pick and going to the Los Angeles Sparks.

“I’m just excited I got to meet David Beckham,” said Parker, who received her trophy from the English superstar. “I grew up playing soccer, so I love David Beckham. I was thinking, ‘Don’t trip, don’t trip.’ He’s truly an inspiration.”

Coaching legend Pat Summitt, who won her eighth NCAA championship as coach of our beloved Lady Vols, was named coach-manager of the year. She beat out Terry Francona of my beloved Boston Red Sox, Tom Coughlin of the New York Giants and Doc Rivers of the Boston Celtics thus proving she can take on the professional coaches.

The Lady Vols also won an ESPY for top women’s collegiate team.

Of course this whole retarded event will not be aired until this Sunday at 9:00 PM EST. I’ll be watching the Deadliest Catch.

GO VOLS!

Vanderbilt football players will wear nine uniform variations this season with black, gold and white options for both jerseys and pants. Which gives more credence to the question,”wonder which team will show up?”

The two-color stripe, standard on Commodore pants from 2002 to 2006, has been removed to make the scheme appear less gay and has been replaced with the Nike “swoosh” and the team’s official two-color “Star V” logo patch stitched on either hip. Which actually makes the uniforms appear more gay than before.

The two-color stripe formerly on jersey sleeves also has been eliminated, replaced with a one-inch solid black stripe. Vandy could have 900 uniform variations and it still wouldn’t change the product on the football field.

At most, they can only absorb 2 losses in the same uniforms. Now that’s brilliance on display right there.

Making the jersey unique to Vanderbilt is the inclusion of the color “Star V” logo into a “home plate” design in the front collar.

The same logo also has been added to the back of each jersey above the number, making Vanderbilt one of only a few teams nationally to feature such a design.

One design that didn’t make the cut was a tiny Fleur-De-Lis emblazoned on each pant cheek.

I would personally like to thank Danometer for this story tip. And in the words of Dan:

“The OU Sooners used to be known as the Be$t Player$ Money ¢ould Buy, especially back under the Herr Switzer era. Did the pay-off cash dry up?”

Walmart must be beginning to hate University of Oklahoma athletes. It seems every few months an OU athlete is arrested in a Walmart which can be technically found every 2.5 square miles across this country.

Women’s basketball point guard Jenna Plumley sent a message out to the OU football players yesterday. The message was simple. If you can fail at shoplifting then so can I. I am woman hear roar!! (And cry when the cuffs are placed on my wrists)

According to an arrest report, Plumley was busted while trying to steal four cosmetics items valued at $34.65. She allegedly put a compact, eyeliner and two eye shadows in her purse after removing their bar codes and tried to leave the store without paying for them and by the looks of her she needs all the makeup she can get.

Officer Jennifer Newell said a Walmart theft prevention officer made the arrest.

This should be a lesson to all and any ugly women reading this. Save yourself some trouble by donning a paper bag with eyeholes. How embarrassing is it to be busted for shoplifting by what is essentially a rent-a-cop?

An OU athletics department spokesman said coach Sherri Coale is aware of the situation, but the department is making no comment and Coale would handle the matter internally.

Meaning the coach was looking into start selling Mary Kay cosmetics to supplement her income, but since her players can’t afford Walmart makeup how in the hell can they afford the expensive stuff?

Tony doesn’t love shoplifters

On advice from some snot-nosed attorney, Jaguars wide receiver & former Arkansas QB, Matt Jones isn’t squealing like a razorback about being charged with felony possession of cocaine.

However his pappy, Steve Jones, eager to get on TV issued a statement to KNWA-TV in Fayetteville, Ark., stating his coked up dumbass son is denying that the drugs belonged to him that ultimately led to his arrest and thus me mocking him.

“Matt is anxious to make a statement and wants to make a statement,” said the statement issued to the television station. “His attorney has advised him to not say anything until they have had a chance to speak together. They will release a statement at the appropriate time.

“We want to make it clear that Matt was not in possession of any drugs,” the statement continued, “but that there were drugs in the vehicle and were located in the closest proximity to Matt. He does not claim any responsibility for the drugs.”

You tell’em pops! Of course by that logic there must have thousands maybe even millions of people falsely arrested and prosecuted for drug possession.

But…for some reason the police report seems to tell a different story and really helps to that theory out of the water.

Jones was spotted in the backseat of a Toyota 4Runner when an officer on foot patrol saw him with a “white powdery substance and in his hand, a credit card that he was using to chop up and scrape the powder.”

When asked by the officer if the powder was cocaine, Jones said, “Yes.”

You know that’s an old SEC football player pastime. Getting stopped by the Po Po and admitting that the drugs that were found were yours and then deny it in the media. South Carolina players do it all the time.

What would have made this story perfect is if the police officer embellished the report a little by saying “then Jones took a big snort of said power and uttered ‘My God I can’t feel my face.’”